My Word for 2011

I didn’t have “a word” for 2010. I was introduced to the idea then, but it just didn’t click. This year, it seems to fit more…but in true Lisa fashion, I didn’t really think about it until now.

The last night of 2010. Nothing like a little pressure.

Honestly, I’d thrown around a couple of words. But in realizing I only have a few hours left, I’ve been searching Thesauruses (Thesauri??), cheating by looking at others’ words, meditating in hopes I’d have an epiphany, and gazing into my crystal ball. (Ok, maybe not the last one. But wouldn’t that be cool??)

I felt the pressure to find the right word. After all, it’s going to carry me through an entire year! What if I picked a word and then on January 2nd I think of a MUCH better one, like some perfect comeback that pops in your head two hours after the argument is over…what a failure I’d be! (*snicker*)

To my lovely sisters in the Tribe, I had offered “Dharma”. It had struck something in me. Seemed broad enough. Pretty unique. But it had only plucked one string…not played a chord.

***

Of course, the answer was the hat on my head that I’d turned the house upside-down to find. Right here. What has been floating around LifeUnity the past few weeks? What have I said it all begins with? (Quiz time – you get a happy face sticker if you guess correctly)


Awareness.

It all begins with awareness.

There are reasons I want to not use this word.

1. You’ve already heard it. It feels like giving a big drum roll and then opening the 2-story red velvet curtain to reveal…….canned spam. Eh. 
2.  It is “my word”. The biggie. The one that is already changing everything. How can that be a word of the year – just one year? What happens when 2012 rolls around? Can I use “awareness-est”
3. It scares me. Honestly. To commit to this is committing to you (and more importantly, to myself), to LIVE this word. 

And while I can get over the fact that the big moment might have been a let-down (this doesn’t usually happen, promise!), and have faith that I’ll find an equally exciting word on Dec. 31st, 2011, that last reason is a stumper.

Living awareness means being constantly aware – of who I am and how I am consequently acting based off of that awareness. It means knowing my phenomenal self and taking responsibility for that self. 


It means that when I’m fighting with hubby and I’m aware that I’m turning into psycho-wife or that he may just be right (if it happens to be 1 of the 999 times that he is), I have to acknowledge that. Out loud. Yeah. Bet the thought of that scares you too.

Or if I read or see something that no longer harmonizes with my song (for example, business techniques that just feel…dehumanizing), being aware of my discomfort and not charging right along with the crowd. No matter how many thousands of people are dancing to the other music.

There are so many more situations I can think of to use as examples, but I’m getting a bit queasy thinking about them. Right here, right now, I’m shaking it off and moving into awareness.


So there you are. My word – my practice - for 2011: Awareness.


I will continue to blog about how this manifests in my life, how it ties in with Yoga and Buddhism and art and running and parenting and shaving and belly blob. I will probably become more adamant about you becoming more aware as well. (I love you and all, but I selfishly don’t want to constantly bump into a whole bunch of sleepwalkers.)

And we’ll continue our journey together, scratching out the 2010 for the next few weeks on documents as we forget our mindful awareness.


In full awareness and with wishes for many beautiful days ahead,

Namaste and Happy New Year.

The Messenger

Last night, I had a chat with an amazing friend.  She is not only completely grounded and inspirational, but she also sees me.  That alone is invaluable.

Among other things, we discussed my ongoing awakening to my animal spirit*, the Hawk.

*Before I lose those who don't get animal spirits or feel it is a bit too whoo-woo, just think of it this way: There is something that keeps showing up in my life and it does so repeatedly and in frequently unexplainable situations.  It is odd enough that I am paying attention.  Sound fair?

Image from: http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.thelensflare.com/large/hawk_22928.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.thelensflare.com/gallery/p_hawk_22928.php&usg=__7QU9XXTMUoWAyBW33rsBYr0dMnU=&h=389&w=500&sz=63&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=PhUjCExJlnjGLM:&tbnh=128&tbnw=162&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dhawk%2Bphotos%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DX%26biw%3D1247%26bih%3D633%26tbs%3Disch:10,27&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=130&vpy=354&dur=402&hovh=142&hovw=183&tx=116&ty=180&ei=lJocTdb1LoymnAfy5MHNDQ&oei=lJocTdb1LoymnAfy5MHNDQ&esq=1&page=1&ndsp=23&ved=1t:429,r:15,s:0&biw=1247&bih=633

I've done a lot of looking into the meaning of the Hawk and have focused on the "seeing the bigger picture" aspect.

During our conversation, my brilliant friend focused on the fact that the Hawk is a "messenger".  That perhaps this is to what I am supposed to listen: I am to be a messenger.  I talk frequently about this...feeling that I innately understand "out-there" things, concepts that may be elusive to others.  Concepts that are crucial to awakened, peaceful living.  Concepts that are generally ignored in the plight of mundane living.  I'm also not willing to fly away to a mountain-top (yet) and meditate on these for years.

So perhaps I am to be the messenger here and now, to share that which (I and) others need, to do so in the muck of the real world.

This alone wasn't that new, but the other aspect she brought up - that perhaps I am afraid to do this - was like a punch in the gut.  A pleasant one, if there can be such a thing.

The fear that I don't understand the message well enough to share it.  The fear that I won't share it in an appropriate manner and the message will get lost in translation.  The fear that I'll get too preachy.  The fear that I won't get preachy enough and will just be a soft self-help guru while the true depth of message lies untapped and unheard.

I am continuing to be with this, knowing this is where today, tomorrow (and 2011, if I want to think in those terms) is taking me.  I know that those of you who read this need what I have to say in some form or fashion (be it about my personal story or other), and that i need to hear you just as much.

I am hurrying this post as life scurrys on around me - hubby & kids are ready to leave.  Time (and to-do's) march on.

But moving into who I am, I knew I had to share this message first.

(Please share: Is there anything you've heard recently - with ears or otherwise - that is calling you to listen??)

Namaste.