Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

There are so many things I thought I would never do. Ideas I had about motherhood, before I actually became a mom.

What a naive little girl I was.

Take one girly-girl and have her give birth to THREE boys and oh, how things change.


The mess factor for one. I was the dainty eater before- I couldn't even eat wings in front of people. But, my boys have taught me that any food item that can actually make its way into your mouth is a good thing, and that it's going to be messy, no matter what it is.

I thought I'd have cute little ballerinas in sequiny tutus- but, welcome to the world of t-ball, karate, trucks, bugs, pirates, and mud puddles.

I hoped to be that put-together mom, now I'm lucky if I don't have tons of crap on me. Literal crap, though we are moving past that stage and more into food, mud, paint, and whatever other messes my boys get into.

Oh, and I thought I would never put one of my kids on a leash. Yeah. You try taking 3 boys under the age of 5 to some insanely crowded place by yourself and try to keep track of them all. I'd rather get dirty looks than lose one of my kids.

And speaking of losing one of my kids...it's far easier for me to find my kids if they are in matching outfits or at least the same color shirt. Have you seen a child who is dressed exactly like this? Not to mention that it makes dressing them in the mornings a much easier process.

Oh, and I should probably save the type of mom I am when it comes to school for a whole different post, since the fouls that I swore up and down when I was a childless teacher that I would never ever commit are already countless...and none of my kids have even made it to kindergarten yet.

Really, we're all such better parents before we have kids, aren't we?

Pulling out a post from a while back to play along!

Truthful Tuesday's Question: Would you get a boob job?


Warning: this is an extremely shallow post.



I want boobies.



We are done having babies and after 3 pregnancies and breastfeeding 3 babies...the girls are shot.



Were they always this small? I don't know. Probably.



Maybe it was that the rest of me was smaller so the girls looked bigger before.



And they definitely aren't as perky.



So, I'd like some boobies.



Not gigantic ones.



But, maybe if my chest were bigger, you wouldn't notice as much how my hips are bigger than they were. It would balance me out.



Yup, I'll take some boobies so that I don't have to stress out at the gym so much.



I interrupt this extremely shallow boobies post to remind you to click everyday at the breast cancer website to provide free mammograms. All you have to do is CLICK.

This post-it note thing that Supahmommy is hosting is truly addicting. Click on her name to join in the fun!


This week, instead of random post-it notes to a bunch of different people, I am sticking all of mine all over one person because I don't think she gets subtlety. One of those people who...it's not what they do, but the attitude in which they do it...that is so incredibly annoying.

So, all of them are for her this week.

This is my Petty Post-it Post...inspired by Monkey's whining about this.

Okay, I got my petty-ness out for the day.

Labels: MEme Monday

I've been following Jaden's story for a while now(click on his darling little face over on the right to take you to his story) and I can't read anything about him without tearing up.

Little ones who are sick: they break my heart. To see how much joy they still have, despite facing such enormous obstacles. Such bravery in ones so small.

My own Bear was very sick this past spring.

Could have died sick.

I literally start to throw up every time I think about it.

I didn't share his story with anyone because I couldn't handle it. I couldn't handle the thought of someone asking me how he was because I knew that I would burst into tears.

So, I didn't say anything.

We just held him tight for months. After he would fall asleep, I would crawl into his little toddler bed, put my arms around him, stroke his hair, gaze at his little angel face, and bawl my eyes out.

When I found out that the other two did not have the same thing, I weeped tears of relief for them and more tears of pain for Bear.

I know that I pushed some friends away during this time, refusing to do some super-fun things and saying that I need to be home with my kids. I couldn't leave Bear. I just couldn't. Not knowing that he nearly died.

So, we kept our pain to ourselves. I didn't want it to be real. I wanted it all to just go away.

And, our prayers were answered and Bear is going to be okay.

But, I can't forget that pain, that fear, that absolute belief that your heart is going to break. I still can't talk about it too much; my hands are shaking as I type this post. Wimp that I am, I can't even handle talking about it and here are these strong little ones, struggling to overcome so much. We could all learn so much from their strength.

When I read Jaden's story, I feel for them. We've been there. And, we pray for them. Please take a moment and do the same.

Sooo, I've been struggling about what to do about Bear and his preschool. I've heard from his teacher and from other parents that he is a runner. He will leave the classroom and go explore down the hall or get up from the table and wonder around the classroom. They worry that he'll get hurt and that he could be a distraction for the other three year-olds.

The very first thing that anyone has to say about him is that he is a very sweet little boy. So, he's not like some of the other boys in his class who hit other kids or screams at the teacher or throws fits.

But yet, he has a hard time with doing what he should be doing.

It's a cooperative preschool, so all the parents take their turns helping, so everyone sees everyone else's kids and how they act in school.

It PISSES ME OFF that I have heard talk from other parents about how they don't think Adam should be there. I want to yell at them and say "Really? He shouldn't be there, but your brat who kicked the teacher 5 times today is okay?"

Today was my turn to volunteer in the classroom. And, while most kids would act differently when their parent is in the classroom, Bear is in his own little bubble and stuff like that does not phase him.

And what did I see? That he's a sweet little guy who offers to share toys and gives the girls hugs and kisses. That when they are doing an activity, he is fine. He will participate and do it. But, that he does not do well when one group is finished with an activity and has to wait at the table for the other group to get done. He gets up and finds a toy to play with and quietly plays with it. Or, if they are all told to go sit on the carpet and wait for the teacher to start circle time, he continues to play until she actually starts circle time.

I know that these are things that could distract the other kids who could easily wonder why they have to do what the teacher says while Bear does his own thing.

But, do I think that he is going to magically be able to learn to do these things if I pull him out of preschool? No.

And, while he is not the most vocal child in the world, he has made great strides. He's probably not going to volunteer an answer, but if you directly ask him a question and not the class at large, he will do his best to answer you.

Bear did leave the classroom 3 different times(where is the childproof doorknob cover????) and that worries me more than anything else. Of course I was paying special attention to where he was, so I retrieved him quickly, but when I'm not there, what if he manages to leave school? Supposedly, the outside door is locked where they can't get out, but I think if there is a way to get out, he would figure it out. And, he's fast.

That makes all the other issues pale in comparison.

So, what I decided to do is to contact his preschool teacher from last year and ask her if I can put Bear back in the 2 year-old class and have her evaluate how he is doing and if he should stay there or if he could handle the 3 year-old program at her school. That program is an academic-based program, so it has a shorter day with one activity after another, no real play time built in. I think he would do better there. And I'm fine with it if she suggests the 2 year-old program.

Why didn't I continue to send him there this year? Because the school where Bear and Monkey go now is in walking distance and is cheaper than that one. I had heard great things about it, so I thought I would try what was most convenient. And, for Monkey, it's great. He loves it and is doing a good job in school.

All of this stuff has given me a headache and a sick feeling in my stomach. I know, I know, it's only preschool. But, he's my Little Bear and I feel like I have to protect him.

Labels: Bear, preschool

I resisted facebook for a long time. Freaked me out. Too many people being able to find me. People I never even liked in the first place. Why would they care what I am doing?

But, I eventually gave in.

And am addicted.

It's the nosiness in me.

I love being nosey.

But, there is Crazy-Helpless-Emoticon-Stalker Girl(CHESG for short, doesn't it just roll off your tongue?).

We went to high school together. I think we probably had p.e. together or something like that. Some class where there were 300 other kids in it. So, we never talked. Or maybe we occasionally exchanged incredibly personal thoughts like "Why are we playing ping-pong?" and "I think this shirt has been in my gym locker for 6 months."

But, I friend-accepted her anyway.

She's a first-time mom whose son is the same age as my youngest. And she seemed lonely. So, I patiently answered her questions and even hooked her up with some moms' groups so that she could find other people to harass...I mean, ask advice of.

But, still, the questions kept coming. And, not normal things or even just a question or two at a time. 20 freaking questions in one email. Your son's pics are cute. Where did you get them done? Who was the photographer? Did they suggest outfits or did you do that? Where did you get the cake that you brought? Did you clean up the mess or did they? How much was the cake? How much was the package that you got? My mom wants to pick her own pictures, can she come back and order more? How much are reprints? and on and on.

I kid you not.

My response was to thank her and then tell her the name of the place where we had the pics taken and that they could answer her questions better than I could.

CHESG(did I mention that she uses at least one emoticon in every sentence?) sent me an email last week, saying that she had looked on my blog(not this one, but my other one that just has pics of my boys and cute little stories about them) and she was asking all these questions. Which park was the one where the baby was crawling through a tunnel? Which one had a sand area? Which one...blah, blah, blah? And, could I tell her the names of the parks and where they are? And how far away from her house are they(thankfully, she and I live about 45 minutes away from each other)? And would her son have things to do there? What else is at those parks? Which ones are our favorites?

Okay, first of all, I was super busy last week, getting things ready for my brother's wedding. Plus, all the normal stuff involved with taking care of three kiddos. AND, I had already told her a few months ago where some good parks are. I did not have time for her craziness. Especially since, in all her ramblings, she said that she just wants to make a list of parks to try :) for future reference ;) when her son is old enough :D. (I kid you not on the emoticons- annoying, isn't it- that's why I am only imitating her once)

So, I ignored her.

Two days later, SHE RESENDS THE EMAIL, along with a little note saying that her email has been acting up and did I see this message from her?

I really should have ignored it.

But, instead, I replied, and yes, I know it was bitchy: "I did see it, but we're really busy this week and I didn't have a chance to respond. I don't know any secret parks, so just google parks in your area and try different ones to see which ones you like."

She almost immediately responded "I didn't know that you were so busy all of a sudden. Sorry if my asking one question ruined your whole day."

No, I haven't responded. And I don't plan to.

But, here is what I wanted to say:

What? Just because you read my facebook status, you think you know me or have any idea what is going on in my life? I don't post important things on there, so NO, you don't know me b/c you are my facebook "friend." Besides, regardless of how busy this week is with things you know nothing about, I have three children. I'm always busy. And, you didn't ask one question, you asked 47. I highly doubt that there is anything wrong with your email. Maybe everyone else is tired of your neediness and doesn't feel like answering you any more, either.

Instead, I just deleted the message and blocked her on facebook. Because I'm mature like that.

5 Television Shows I shall watch this season. And no one best interrupt MEme.

TV junkie that I am, it was hard to narrow it down to just 5. But, here are the ones that I would be the most upset about if the dvr acted up and didn't record them or if- HE BETTER NOT- Hubs were to cancel my recordings so that he could watch something else.

How I Met Your Mother Yes, still, even going into season 5, I love this show. How can you not love Barney/Doogie? And, back when it started, it appealed to the way that I think: that everything that happened happened to lead you to where you are in life, even though it's hard to see that at the time. But, I warn you, HIMYM, Ted better actually meet her this season. 'Cause now you're really pushing it. And please, no more dirty stories being told to Ted's kids. Really, there are some things he should definitely leave out when telling these things to teenagers. But, I'll give you one more shot because we've had a long and enjoyable relationship.

Gary Unmarried Do you watch this show? YOU SHOULD WATCH THIS SHOW. I love this show. Cracks me up every time. Hubs and I even watch together...though I sometimes think he acts very much like Gary and he thinks that I act like Allison and um, they are divorced. So, that might not be a good thing. But, it's still one of the funniest shows on tv and we were thrilled when they decided to bring it back for a second season.

House Another one of my long-time favs. House, how I love you. Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. And that no-b.s. way of yours. And those eyes. I just love you. As screwed up as you are, I just can't stop watching you.

Fringe No, not just because I get to relive my Pacey crush from my Dawson's Creek obsessed days(I screamed at and then hung up on a boyfriend in college when he had the nerve to call me at 8:55pm on a Wednesday- what the hell was he thinking, interrupting those last 5 crucial cliff-hanging moments of Dawson's Creek???). Anyway, it's a smart show. Walter cracks me up while fascinating me with his brilliance, which of course rubbed off on his gorgeous son. I will continue to watch this one- even though the black boss guy reminds me creepily of the Geico gecko.

Gossip Girl Because it has no redeeming qualities to it whatsoever. A complete piece of trashy fluff that I am totally addicted to.

I must add that I'm thrilled that So You Think You Can Dance..dance, dance...is back for a fall season. I can totally dance like that. Really. In my mind, just like that. And I have a fabulous dancer's figure, too...in my mind.

What would I do without my dvr? Without all these shows, Hubs and I wouldn't be nearly as entertained at night as we are...and we'd probably end up with a whole litter of children. Good tv nights=great birth control

Labels: MEme Monday

Dear Bear's Preschool Teacher,

I realize that I told you at orientation that I wanted you to tell me if Bear is not ready for preschool. That he's a young 3, a runner, and not very focused. I told you to please tell me if you think I should pull him out, wait a few months, and then try again.

I know I said that.

But, what I really meant was that I know he's young and that it's not going to be easy for him to sit still during circle time and always be doing what he should be doing.

I don't actually want you to tell me that he shouldn't be in school. I don't want you to tell me to pull him out of school.

I want you to tell me that he's sweet. Because he is. Have you noticed his gorgeous smile? How he has the best smile?

I want you to tell me that he'll get it, that it will be okay.

I'm a terrible eavesdropper and I know that you have a little boy in your class who HIT you. When he did that, did Bear ask you if you were okay? Because I'd be willing to bet that he did. I bet he even gave you a kiss.

I know you have a little boy in your class who has wrestled everyone else in the class and whose mom thinks this is okay.