A little while ago there was a mess of a conversation going on about romance RPGs, which of course always brings up the small side mess of “any mechanics applied to character feelings is bad” type statements, which… sigh, putting that aside, it occurred to me that relationship/emotional tie mechanics can be great Flag mechanics for a group to work with.
Flags, again
Flag mechanics are explicit mechanics a player uses to tell the GM and the group “I would like the story/situation to focus on THIS for my character”. They are a tool that makes it easy for the group to coordinate. As an example, Primetime Adventures you pick an Issue for your character, and that tells everyone what the big emotional conflict is going to be about for your character and helps them create scenes and situations with their characters that will hit those buttons in a fun, entertaining way.
Now, part of the deal with a Flag mechanic is many of them give you the option to change them during play. Your wizard having “My brother resents my talent at magic” sets up one kind of story, and the moment you switch it to either, “I have to save my brother from his own hatred in his heart” or “My brother is lost, and it’s my duty to stop him.”, you’ve immediately signaled a BIG change in the direction of the story to the rest of the group and changed the dynamic in play significantly.
In the course of most games of any type, your character may cross one of those emotional lines; but until it’s communicated, it’s not known to the players. By changing the Flag, openly, now everyone knows where you stand, even if their characters haven’t found out, yet.
Romance and Flags
Romance is tricky in real life, and in a tabletop RPG it’s usually 100x harder – you usually lack a lot of cues that would normally signal attraction, comfort, etc. so communicating between players where their characters stand with each other is pretty hard. It leads to a lot of miscommunication, which, although sometimes funny, usually is more annoying or frustrating, or sometimes, a trust violation and unfun.
A clear flag system that lets the players know where they expect the characters to stand with each other, is a nice way to help keep the players coordinated on how their characters feel and what are appropriate character actions to each other.
And this all came to me because I’ve been thinking a lot about the romance in Across the Spiderverse which manages to hold a consistency, and not the usual melodramatic displays we get in a lot of movies or tv shows. The characters are unsure when to push or pull or are crushing down their feelings, but we, the audience see it all. And that would be exactly a perfect sort of Flag system indicating “here’s where our characters are” as an agreement between the players, even if the characters are lost about where they stand.
The mechanics don’t tell you, you tell the mechanics, to tell each other
Anyway, all of this is to say, it’s an important reframing for some of these that it’s not “I have Care 3 and the number tells me what I feel about you” it’s “When we have an in character argument but we both agree our characters stay at Care 3 we as players, know that the argument isn’t breaking the relationship – either this is a superficial issue or it’s a strain that is completely repairable.”
We can use the mechanics as short hand to signal to each other, without having to do a writer’s room analysis of “What does it mean?” every session.
It’s the same way if you write down that your character is gregarious on the character sheet, is that word on the paper telling YOU how to play your character? No, that’s ridiculous; you’re the one who created it to begin with. You wrote it so other players know something about your character.
(This isn’t to say there isn’t games where the mechanics are set up to drive characters to certain emotional positions, where it is, in fact, a system telling you what your character feels, but much like Morale rolls or fear checks or whatever, presumably you’re playing this game that features this thing because you think that is interesting or fun in some way. However, it’s so funny to me to have people complain about relationship mechanics when the majority of games using them have the player as the origin of what the relationship says to begin with.)
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