IT'S CALLED BRIEF KARATE FOOLISH BECAUSE THEY'RE IN UNDERWEAR.
4/5
Just learned what the title meant.
Move over SSB4

(NOTE: This review was done in the singleplayer experience - NOT COOP (However hopefully this review will stop you from wanting to even play this game with a friend))

This game............ sucks. It's bad. Like really bad. If you don't want to read my entire review, here is a summary:

This game is exactly the same as those hundreds of terrible greenlight horror games on Steam. It is not unique, it is boring and it is garbage. It's like a kid's first attempt at making a game, and it is laughable that the devs are actually charging $9 for this crap. When I've seen Happy Meal toys offer a more fulfilling experience.

If you want me to list out all the terrible things in this game. Here is a few:

1. The monsters. This is a joke. Remember how I said how un-unique this game is? Well, the enemies in this game are the most cliched and pathetic excuses for horror enemies I've ever seen. The game offers a huge selection of TWO enemy types. A mannequin (never seen that before: Silent Hill, Kraven Manor ) which you need to look at for it not to kill you (100% original. Not just like: The Weeping Angles or SCP-173). And the second enemy type is one that won't see you if you have your flashlight off (Which is like nearly EVERY HORROR GAME EVER). However, the game didn't even do that part right. At least in most horror games like Amnesia, you can turn off lights to lower your chance of being found. BUT IN THIS GAME, you can literally go up to the monsters and suck their d*ck, just as long as your light is off. They're completely static and don't even attempt to kill you.

2. It's stupid riddles. You're asked a total of I believe 12 riddles in this game in order to progress. Somewhat like a troll under the bridge sorta thing. However, this is honestly one of the laziest excuses at a bloody 'puzzle' I've ever seen. All the riddles you are asked, have NOTHING to do with the story. They offer NO explanation in the story, they offer NO personality of our characters, they have NOTHING to do with the game at all (other than to try to pad out your game time so you cannot refund the game). And the worse thing? They're all unoriginal. All the riddles in this game were completely ripped from online. The creators of this game didn't even TRY to create their own original riddles. They instead chose to steal them instead because their brains were rotted from Year 3's math homework.

3. The game is ugly. Visually it's gross. The game is too bloody dark so if your light is off you have no idea where you are going. The game looks like a collection of free-to-download assets all plunked down on a level editor. And the game uses so many stock-font choices it looks like the game was written using Microsoft Word 2007.

4. The story is non-existant. NOTHING, in the game, is explained. Nothing is resolved, nothing is revealed, nothing happens. What happened to that couple? NEVER FOUND OUT. Why are their monsters? NOT EXPLAINED. Whats with all the bodybags? NEVER ANSWERED. I'm fine with games leaving things open for interpretation. But there's a difference between leaving things ambiguous for analysis, and being too lazy to answer things yourselves.

5. The game is pathetic. This is how I feel about the game the most. It's pathetic. It's got pathetic graphics, it's got pathetic programming, it's got a pathetic story, the list goes on. The devs did not try. This feels like college students first attempt at making a game. WHICH IS FINE. But don't bloody dare to charge babies first game for $9. Which ironically is higher then the production budget of the game itself. If this game was free on Indie GoGo - sure. That would be fine. But the fact that this game made it on the Steam Page, really says a lot about greenlight.

I could rag on the terrible things in this game for dozens of more hours. Such as how slow your character moves, the fact that enemies can literally be placed behind a corner so you have no idea there is one up ahead and you die, the terrible overworld which offers like 5 locations, the lack of music or overall ambiance. But, that would be putting in more effort than the devs did to this entire game.

This game is a joke. For all those horror nutters looking for that hidden unique indie horror game like myself, move along. You've played this game before.

And to the devs, listen, I don't want to discourage you making games. In-fact, I want to encourage you to better yourself from this experience. Just please, try something new, try to increase your level of quality. I've got faith in you guys and I hope you can better yourselves.

Unfortunately, this game is bad and if you somehow couldn't guess it, I strongly DO NOT recommend this game. 'Stay FAR' away from this game.

Even before I clicked "Play" I knew that half of the title was right.

Oh! so THAT'S how you do it.

How do I turn off the feature where my steam friends just keep laughing at me?

I've almost got the girl!
*tips fedora*

Can you really argue with a game that gives you money?

Adventure Capitalist: Sanity not guaranteed

So you're sitting there one unfortunate night, You have heaps of amazing games in your Steam library but you don't play any of them. Why? Because...idk... Anyways, you're scrolling through and what do you know, there's a new free game on Steam. "Adventure Capitalist?" you say to yourself, "Wonder what this game is all about." You scroll through and read some reviews, All of them telling you to "STAY AWAY FROM THIS GAME" "DO NOT PLAY THIS GAME" "PLAY BAD RATS ANYTHING BUT THIS". You decide to disobey and click install. As you you click install you wait mere minutes before it's already done. "Oh that's a small game, it's probably not gonna be that great." you say to yourself just as you're about to click the play button. As you press down on the left mouse button to click that big shiny "PLAY" button, BOOM. It's been 8 years now, You've lost your family, your friends, your house. Everything. Gone. But hey, atleast I finally have my 3700 Newspaper stand right?

PROS

+Hey look! what a simple and easy game
Man, what a lovely game. Just buying some lemonade and making some dosh! Why can't all games be like this?

+Amazing time waster!
Oh look it's already 10am, where did my night go? Oh well, I got my 400th Lemonade stand now so I can finally go to bed! Wait, didn't I have a job interview? Oh well, who needs real money when I got mad dosh in AC, right?! RIGHT?!

+P@y 2oo w1n
HAHA!, Look at this I can use mother's credit card and get EVEN MORE Shrimp boats! Sorry mum, that university education will have to wait. It'll be ok though, maybe I can make a living off playing AC AhahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!@#$%^&*(&^$$#@!#!

+Oh cool, I get all these upgrades just for buying more stores!
I ONLY NEED 12.888 QUATTUORSEXAGINTILLION TILL I CAN I CAN GET MY 4X PROFIT UPGRADE THAT'LL LET ME BUY MY 3800th NEWSPAPER STAND THAT'LL LET ME GET MY 55th MEGABUCKS WHICH DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!!!

CONS

-Pay to win
On a serious note this is a real struggle of the game my friend even payed REAL LIFE MONEY just so he could pass me in a virtual video game, if any of your friends out there do this, please get them to seek help.

-The Moon
It's too freaking slow, there I said it.

Final Notes and Score

-My comedy act is over, This game is a real big time waster so be careful if you do decide to download it

-Don't pay 2 win, you'll be over this game soon enough.

Final Score: 10 Septentrigintillion/10 Centillion