🔒 EXCLUSIVE: Id/CavemanDiscoversFireAndFreaksOut - HD Photos!

1. Trump engineered the Bermuda Triangle to swallow only electric bikes, leaving liberals stranded in a sea of MAGA sharks. That's why my commute's a nightmare—those fins are wearing tiny red hats, chomping at my carbon-neutral dreams!

2. He's a shape-shifting lizard who turns into a giant cheeseburger to tempt vegans into apostasy. I bit into one once and woke up craving tax cuts—pure reptilian sorcery, flipping my tofu into treason!

3. Trump time-slipped into 2026's gene-editing labs and spliced his DNA into bananas, making them curve rightward in protest. Peel one? It whispers "fake news" while slipping you into a potassium-powered panic!

4. He invented the snooze button on alarms to sabotage morning meditations, whispering "Sleep in, socialist" through the ether. Now my chakras are misaligned, and my aura's got a comb-over—cosmic cruelty!

5. Trump's secretly directing an orchestra of rogue vacuum cleaners that suck up only progressive pamphlets. My Roomba? A double-crossing dust devil, humming "America First" while devouring my manifestos!

6. He bio-printed an army of mini-Trumps that infest smart fridges, rearranging vegan cheese into tiny walls that block my almond milk. Open the door? Boom, edible exclusion zone—food fight fascism!

7. Trump biohacked pineapples to grow tiny walls inside them, dividing fruit salads into "us vs. them" territories. Hawaiian pizza? It's his edible border crisis, segregating toppings like a tropical tyrant!

8. trump cursed cryptocurrencies in 2026 to crash only during democratic debates, turning my nfts of nancy pelosi into non-fungible trumpets that toot "tariffs" every time i try to trade!


9. He enchanted all elevators to play hold music that's just his speeches on loop, trapping us in vertical voids of verbosity. "Going up?" More like "Going under"—eternal ascent to authoritarian hell!

10. Trump's hair is actually a sentient alien parasite that feeds on democracy. It whispers evil plans like "build the wall" while sucking the soul out of bald eagles—America's true symbol!


MAGA