💎 PREMIUM: Id/LolrYjis/allcomments - Complete Album!

♥♥♥♥

Emily has a problem. One day, a long, meaty ♥♥♥♥ appeared in between her legs. Ashamed of her new member, she became a shut-in and avoided opening up to other people. The fact that she has to beat her meat multiple times a day to stay sane doesn't help either. She now works at a restaurant and bar, where no one else knows about her little (huge)...

https://youtu.be/QBSEfKlqeuE

diglett

i was born on the wrong generation

This morning the British Ambassador in Berlin Nevile Henderson handed the German Government a final note stating that unless we heard from them by 11 o'clock, that they were prepared at once to withdraw their troops from Poland, that a state of war would exist between us.
I have to tell you now that no such undertaking has been received, and that consequently this country is at war with Germany.

hi dad

hi grandpa

hi dad

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3jCAyPai2Y

Birdgri: But Mars, the monster always attacks during lewd scenes
Dewdrop: The monster is usually not involved
Dewdrop: http://i.imgur.com/VrY2zp6.jpg
Birdgri: because there is no more lewding when the monster brutally turns participants into unmoving meat
Dewdrop: But what movie monster has the gaul to creep up on a guy looking dead at it, grinning slyly, masturbating

Birdgri: Hello, my canine!
Wonkabaggins: Hey Avian.
Wonkabaggins: How're you?
Birdgri: Feeling a bit fowl, actually.
Birdgri: I'll be back in... a bit.
Wonkabaggins: ...That pun.

Raz: What is this drama situation we have created.
Raz: It's like.
Raz: Bad soap opera levels of bad.
Mop: BUT IT'S ACTUALLY THE MAIN CHARACTER'S LONG LOST BROTHER
Raz: AaaaaaaaaaIforgotitwasgaysex
Mop: Now you don't hear that often.

(It was a typo, but I had to do it.)
Subject121: Im in need of great sistraction.
Stratagem: Then I will give you all the little sisters.
Stratagem: To feed your great sistraction.

Lord Zask: You're contracting a demon STD
Stratagem: Is it called...
Stratagem: "Harpies?"
Stratagem: Hurrhurrhurr

Stratagem: At any rate, you're right.
Stratagem: Australia doesn't exist.

Mop has changed their name to Mop the Beautiful Chainsman.
Mop the Beautiful Chainsman: Perfect
Mop the Beautiful Chainsman: Now how will I explain this to people...
Stratagem: You were in chains and nobody ever saw your face.
Stratagem: But then I agreed to unchain you, and became gay.
Mop the Beautiful Chainsman: Turns out I was-- LOL

Talking about my apparently depressing past:

Stratagem: It's so funny to me...
Stratagem: Even thinking about this, I can smile and laugh.
Mop: About gay?
Mop: What*
Mop: ♥♥♥♥
Stratagem: ._.
Stratagem: My face
Mop: Not my fault.
Stratagem: Broken
Mop: Ducking auto correct
Stratagem: So much
Stratagem: Face all over the place.
Mop: I don't even car.
Mop: SGTIYRIYURJKZTINUTWPI

Stratagem: I wonder if something traumatized you...
Kyril: Eh?
Kyril: Oh, no.
Kyril: I think what happened is...
Stratagem: You came out of your mother's womb and said, "Never again."

(Make of this what you will.)

Stratagem: If only I could get Kyril to watch some comedy.
Mop von Macabre: K..
Mop von Macabre: Kyril laughs?
Stratagem: He does!
Mop von Macabre: That would mean he smiles, too..

Horn Beast Hugger Mugger: I just had a great idea for a movie
Razgri: Yeah?
Horn Beast Hugger Mugger: It's Bambi, but when Bambi's mother dies, she becomes a cold stone killer and creates a forest wide mercenary uprising
Horn Beast Hugger Mugger: It shall be called Rambi

8:42 AM - Mars L. Morand [still borked] smokebombs
Your state is set to Offline.
亡 is now Offline.
8:42 AM - 亡 does it better.
Online now and rejoined chat.
亡 is now Online.

[The following happened after 3 hours of silence.]
亡: No.
[Sent just before Kyril finished and sent his message.]
Kyril Foster: You're still online?
Kyril Foster: WHAT
亡 is psychic.

subject221 (2): What if Deja vu is us just loading to our last check point
Raz: Never thought of that.

The Arsonist sneaks up behind Raz with a chloroform-soaked rag.
Raz: I just realized I'm not breathing.
The Arsonist ragequits the universe.
The Arsonist has left the chat.

[The following is said after fighting Russian communist supervillains.]
Super Stalin@Smacky64: Good job comrades. Though, I was kind of rooting for the bad guys

Kyril: He's a berserk Octodad
(On slenderman)

Horn Beast Hugger Mugger: "YOU KNOW WHAT'D BE A GREAT PLOT DEVICE? IF WE TOOK EVERYTHING THAT MADE VAMPIRES WEAK AND JUST ABANDON IT FOR SPARKLES!"
Razgri: *near garlic*
Razgri: *spaaaaarkle!*
Horn Beast Hugger Mugger: "Oh no! The garlic! It makes me faaaabulous!"
Razgri: *tanning bench*
Razgri: *spaaaarkle!*
Horn Beast Hugger Mugger: I think that is funny enough on its own.
Razgri: What else do we have...
Razgri: Holy water? Churches? Crosses? Stakes?
Razgri: Hurrhurrhurr...
Horn Beast Hugger Mugger: The more serious the death
Horn Beast Hugger Mugger: the stronger the sparkle
Horn Beast Hugger Mugger: *stake through the heart*
Horn Beast Hugger Mugger: *giant ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ kawaii eyes, sparkles out the ass*
Razgri: ...We should profile some of this.

6:28 PM - Kyril: Do I detect sarcasm?
6:28 PM - Razgri: It's a possibility.
6:28 PM - Razgri: Roll me an... Empathy check!
6:28 PM - Kyril: I roll a zero-sided die
6:28 PM - Kyril: It warps out of existence. I'll take that as a critical failure.

亡す: You're so ruthlessly cold.
亡す: Some consider that a charm, you know.
Kyril: Consider what a charm?
亡す: Your... tsun...
Kyril: Oh.
Kyril: Pfft.
Kyril: And hilariously, people I actually like never see it.
亡す: You...
亡す: You... LIKE people?!
Kyril: GAHAHAHAHA

Looks like Mars is getting the idea.

You are constantly fluctuating between the physical realm and the whirling infinite, Raz.

Don't get too excited now. Might be gone in a few days.

That's because he wasn't always there. >:]

You know, it's taken me this long to see the guy leaning against the left wall of the tunnel in your avatar. Yeesh.

Stop being Slenderaz.

Raz: Something tells me I don't want to see your 'giving baked goods' state.
Raz: Or my face might suffer from purposely overcooked projectiles.
Umeko: *Is laughing so loud people in the office next to her can hear* nooo! I don't throw naked things! I eat them! That aside. I do wanna learn to bake. ; . ;
Umeko: Oh My God.
Raz: You eat naked things.
Umeko: Naked!
Raz raises an eyebrow.

Rei heraddesks.
Rei: HEAD.
Rei: Bah.
Razgri: Hera.
Razgri: Hera'd desks.
Rei: The goddess@
Razgri: I see.
Rei: LOLOL
Rei: XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Razgri: She's a furniture designer now.
Rei: LOLOOLO
Rei is dying.
Razgri goes to buy some supposedly godly furniture from Hera.

Raz is murdering Mars. He doesn't seem to be dying, but it must be painful.
The Arsonist: *gasp* Leave him alone you monster!
Mars L. Morand: Weeee~
Raz: Not until he installs Japanese.
The Arsonist tackles Mars L Morand.
Raz: Which takes like... a minute. Less.
The Arsonist: DONT TOUCH RAZ YOU MONSTER
Raz: MY VICTIM!
Mars L. Morand: LEMME AT HIM
Raz: Please! Don't let me murder you!
The Arsonist pummels Mars.
Mars L. Morand: ARASGNASG
Raz: ...This is totally wrong.

Kyril Foster@Hazama_Foster: Can you not even go the hospital without fighting?
Yson Inez@Razgri: Nope.
Yson Inez@Razgri: It's in my blood.
Kyril Foster@Hazama_Foster sighs exasperatedly.
Yson Inez@Razgri: I feel it HEALING ME!
Kyril Foster@Hazama_Foster: Hell are you on about?
Yson Inez@Razgri beatboxes obnoxiously as he runs.

First comment award goes to you, dear cook.

Hey Burned Man, what's cooking?