for the homies

This DLC is the Dark Souls 2 of Doom Eternal.

Yes

YOU EVER LOOK AT A 2-STORY-SIZED PICKLE AND THINK "YEAH I COULD KICK ITS ASS" WELL IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAY.

CLAWS, TEETH, SWORDS, BULLETS, MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS MADE FROM THE BONES OF YOUR ENEMIES, WHATEVER SUITS YOUR FANCY. IT'S JUST TWO APEX PREDATORS DUKING IT OUT, JUST LIKE GOD INTENDED. OR IS IT? TURNS OUT PICKLE CALLED YOU AN UBER AND YOUR DRIVER'S NAME IS PALICO CART DRIVER #4 (HE GOES BY JAMAL FOR SHORT).

OH? DID PICKLE HAVE A BIT TOO MUCH ZEST? YOUR MOUTH WASN'T THE ONLY ORIFICE PUCKERING? IT'S TIME TO CALL IN THE GOON SQUAD. FLARES ARE POPPED AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT 3 WAIFUS WITH WIGGLER HATS ARRIVE. JUDGING BY THEIR EXQUISITE TASTE IN FASHION, YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN GOOD HANDS.

BE PREPARED TO BE DISTURBED AS WAIFUS SCARF DOWN 3 STAR MICHELIN MEALS THAT SOME JAPANESE MAN HAD TO PAINSTAKINGLY TEXTURE LIKE ANIMALS. BUT ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ DOES THAT ♥♥♥♥ LOOK DELICIOUS. NO WONDER YOU GET SO ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ BUFFED UP, I MEAN JUST LOOK AT THAT ♥♥♥♥.

UNFORTUNATELY, PICKLE'S IDEA OF A 3 STAR MICHELIN MEAL IS YOU AND YOUR NEW FRIENDS. 2019 IS ASS EATING SEASON FOR A REASON. JAMAL IS MAKING BANK TODAY.

DO YOU HAVE THE GRIT TO KEEP GOING? WELL YOU BETTER CAUSE RECYCLED PICKLE MAKES FOR SOME BOMB ASS WEAPONS. THE GAME IS CALLED MONSTER HUNTER FOR ♥♥♥♥ SAKES GET IN THERE.

YOU'LL BE EXHAUSTED BY THE TIME YOU SEE PICKLE LYING BEFORE YOU. A TOUGH FIGHT. YOUR REWARD IS LISTENING TO YOUR CHARACTER CARVE HIM UP LIKE A TURKEY. TAKE IN THE UNSETTLING SQUISHY NOISES AS YOU REDUCE THIS MAGNIFICENT CREATURE INTO IKEA FURNITURE. TAKE IT ALL IN. WALLOW IN YOUR VICTORY MUSK. YOU'VE DONE IT. BUT WHO'S THE REAL MONSTER? YOU ARE A SICK AND CRUEL PERSON. TIME TO MAKE A NEW GUN.

WHEN YOU GET BACK TO BASE YOU HEAR ABOUT A ROIDED UP DOG THAT GOT TELEPORTED IN FROM A DIFFERENT GAME SERIES. I'M NOT MAKING THIS ♥♥♥♥ UP. HE DOESN'T EVEN GO HERE BUT APPARENTLY HE JUST HAS A LOT OF FEELINGS. I'D INVEST IN UBER NOW SINCE THE STOCK PRICE IS GANNA GO UP FROM THE AMOUNT OF BUSINESS YOU'LL BE GIVING THEM. JAMAL'S GANNA BE SICK OF SEEING YOUR FACE.

GOOD THING YOU GOT YOUR NEW PICKLE GUN. PICKLE PROVIDES.

game is okay