Game Title: Deep Rock Galactic
Rating: 11/10 (Would commit war crimes for gold again)
Reviewer: A Dwarf with no knees and a high BAC.

The Premise: LinkedIn for Masochists
Have you ever looked at the gig economy and thought, "You know what this needs? total darkness, giant alien spiders, and a complete disregard for workplace safety regulations"? If so, welcome to Deep Rock Galactic.

You play as one of four dwarves employed by a soulless intergalactic mining corporation that values the preservation of a $5 mule robot over your actual life. Your job is simple: drop into a procedurally generated hellhole, hit rocks with a pickaxe, and shoot anything with more legs than two.

The Teammates (Or: "Who is currently blowing me up?")
The game is best played with friends, or "liabilities." There are four classes, each vital to the mission and equally vital to your untimely death:

The Scout: Essentially a hyperactive glowstick with a grappling hook. His job is to light up the cave and mine the ceiling minerals. In reality, his job is to fall 80 feet to his death and break his legs 400 meters away from the rest of the team.

The Driller: A borderline sociopath who solves every problem with C4. Wall in the way? C4. Bug swarm? C4. The Scout is standing a little too close to the objective? C4. If you see a Driller running toward you, run the other way. He isn't coming to help; he’s coming to erase the evidence.

The Engineer: Has a turret that gets more kills than you and shoots pancakes made of yellow foam. He spends 90% of the game shouting at the Scout to stand on the pancakes. The Scout never listens.

The Gunner: Carries a gun that weighs more than the Scout and a zipline that moves at the speed of a sloth navigating a DMV line. He is the only reason you survive the swarm.

The True Villain: Molly
You are accompanied by a M.U.L.E. robot named Molly. Deep Rock Galactic claims she is a sophisticated piece of mining technology. I am convinced she is a Decepticon sent to sabotage us.
When you call for extraction, you have 5 minutes to run back to the drop pod. Molly leads the way. However, Molly can walk up vertical walls and squeeze through supply holes. You cannot. I have spent many final minutes of a mission weeping in a dark hole while Molly vertically scales a 90-degree cliff face, beeping mockingly as the drop pod leaves without me.

The Gameplay Loop
Drink Beer: Before the mission, you go to the Abyss Bar. You drink beer that makes you burn, freeze, explode, or pass out. If you don't start the mission seeing double, are you even a dwarf?

Drop In: The drop pod lands, usually crushing the one thing you needed to collect.

Rock and Stone: You press the 'V' key. Your dwarf yells "ROCK AND STONE!" This is not optional. It is a cult. If you join a game and do not Rock and Stone, you will be kicked. If you are revived? Rock and Stone. If you find gold? Rock and Stone. If you are currently on fire? Rock and Stone.

The Swarm: Mission Control, a guy who sounds like he hasn't slept since the Cretaceous period, announces a swarm. Suddenly, the walls turn into teeth. You hold down the trigger until the gun goes "click," then you hit things with a shovel until you die or they die.

Extraction: You run blindly through the dark, screaming, while the Driller accidentally blows up the bridge you were standing on.

Conclusion
Deep Rock Galactic is the only game where I can legally strip-mine a planet, enslave the local wildlife (Steeve!), get black-out drunk, and nuke my best friend, all within a 20-minute window.
It features the best beard physics in gaming and a community that shares a collective brain cell solely dedicated to pressing the 'V' key.

Pros:
Dwarves.
Beer.
Explosions.
No elves.

Cons:
I have developed a Pavlovian fear response to the sound of skittering legs in my own kitchen.
Management still hasn't invested in better equipment.
Final Verdict: ROCK AND STONE TO THE BONE!

Wars are won by those willing to sacrifice everything!

Optimize the game. It's horrible.

Sony is being a bunch of ♥♥♥♥♥

Unplayable.

Cannot Log into any servers. I've tried everything including uninstalling and reinstalling.

Probably the best version of the backrooms I've played yet.

The game constantly crashes on me and my PC is a power house. This game was looking really good but its been unplayable for me.

Edit: Originally this game was unplayable for me so i uninstalled it. After a while I decided to reinstall it and try again. Idk what changed but i was able to play the game with next to no issues. That being said, the game is a load of fun. I have been a fan of the Tom Clancy games since the OG Rainbow Six days. I cant wait to see what they do with the next Ghost Recon. Hopefully we get the Splinter Cell Series remastered.

Its kinda like halo and portal did a bunch of meth and had a baby. The game is pretty good. I think if it was released on console it would do much better. I have had a hard time finding matches. Long wait times recently. Still though once in a game its a beautiful mess. Chaotic and constant battles. Very fast paced gameplay.

Its a fun game, but its also incredibly frustrating. By the end you will either want to blow your brains out or want more.