🔒 EXCLUSIVE: Id/Stellaaaahhhh - Uncensored 2025

I once learned to hide, to evade my attackers.
To ball myself tight, to reserve my own rapture.
My solace was night, and the sun was my captor.
When I bawled for respite, my cries just garnered laughter.
When all was a fight, I knew not a salvator.

So my heart became calloused, and my empathy splintered.
All the stars once my palace, became dim as they withered.
The dark once my bastion, turned my pain to a sinner.
I thought I’d be happy, if I made their taste bitter.
So “long live compassion”, I’ll make their agony linger.

But that anger bred hatred, not just for those I despised.
When my anchor was patience, my love was my guiding light.
When I tampered with gracious, I was killing my own pride.
When I buried my caring, reflections rippled my tide.
I once hated my tyrants, now I just hated my mind.

So once again I curled inward, I sent my wrath back to hell.
I made friends with my timid, I retreated back in my shell.
I fled my retribution, in favor of accepting myself.
Once again I felt sadness, but at least I could crack in my cell.
But in jail you are friendless. Again to the thrashings I fell.

Now this lightning inside me, it transforms my sand into glass.
My fear stands aside so, my violence can attack.
And once this glass shatters, my pride will return to ash.
Once again like a phoenix, I will rise from my past.
But not to be stronger, to make them writhe while I crash.

Still this fire that drives me, just seems to burn brighter.
Despite all my pride, I was not born a fighter.
Although I do try, my dreams get torn as a writer
Yet in spite of my hide, I still brandish the lighter.
I ignite what I like, I still abhor my desires.

Am I stuck in this limbo, this endless cycle of pain?
Is this evolution, or just my self-proclaimed fate?
Am I destined for delusion? Will I always capitulate?
Do I defend an illusion? Will I ever break this disdain?
Identity bled through dilution, happiness dreads my escape.

One, be honest.
Be unrelentingly and unmercifully honest. As if every truth is a key, and that key is to your heart and despite how self conscious and worried you may be to reveal what's inside, reveal it. Let your truths spill out through your chest painting your arms which you must leave outstretched for any who may want to see what makes you you, because lets be honest, we both know you want them to see.
And even though it may make you feel awkward, or vulnerable, or weak. Even though there are some who will try to use it as a catalyst to berate or bully you. Even though there are those who will want nothing more than to extinguish every passion you ignite, despite all of these things. Despite all of your protests, all of your refusal. Despite every fiber of your being telling you they might judge you, or hate you, or cast you out and so you must not to let them see, LET THEM!
Because even if these things are true, even if they want nothing to do with you. Even if you bled your soul out for them through veins you severed to let them in only for them to leave you bleeding to your death, there are some that will want nothing more than to know everything about you. And once the ones who want nothing to do with you are gone, only the ones who want everything to do with you will remain.
Two, never bite your tongue.
If you cared enough to ponder it, then you care enough to share it. Even if you pondered on the idea for only a moment, there was once one moment, that you saw value in it. Even if that moment has passed it is our past that gives us power and even if at times we feel powerless we must look to our past to help get us past our troubles no matter how powerful they may be.
We must hoist the sales of our hardships because no matter how hard this ship may be to sail, no matter how daunting and treacherous the ocean that is life may feel at times and no matter how impossible navigating it may seem, we must look back at the vast ocean we have crossed thus far and we must observe all of our trials and tribulations that we have gone through to get to where we are. We must observe the storms we have sailed through not as misfortunes that we had to endure, but rather lessons we had to learn, and realize that, were it not for the winds and rain tearing and tattering our sails to twine, we would not have known that we needed stronger ones.
Is a photograph useless because the moment in which the photo was taken has passed? Are songs meaningless because the meaning behind them had a time and that time has come and gone? Is every conceivable piece of literature, and art, and music, from ancient scriptures and bible verses to Mozart and Beethoven, from Picasso to Davinci and from Shakespeare to Twain, is every creation that anyone has ever been passionate about pointless simply because that same passion may have dwindled since the time of its conception?
As humans we are gifted with the ability to conceive and create from complex ideas and while our memory is also a gift it does not need to be the only tribute to our passions. We document and create not to solidify our stance and opinions, things which were never meant to be confined to a solid form, but rather to serve as a reminder that we were once passionate about them, so we may shift that passion on to something new.
Three, answer everything.
Be it "What time is it?" or "What's your name?" answer everything. Be it a text from a friend or a call from someone you really didn't want to ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ talk to answer everything. Be as open to every question and proposition as the person who proposed it was to your response. Invite every new idea into your brain with arms that damn well better still be outstretched. Because every question asked of you is another swing of a pickaxe, and the person asking it was interested enough in the gem that is your heart that they were willing to excavate their way through the walls you have built around it just to get a glimpse.
So welcome questions and new ideas. Because even if their idea challenges your way of thinking in every way imaginable, accepting that challenge is the least you can do in exchange for all of their digging. Even if in the mere instant the thought of this new conception crosses your brain, every instinct you have tells you to reject it, embrace it. Eulogize it! Go over it in your head checking it once, twice, three times, time again, triple check, check every box and think outside the box, then go over it again. Because even if that idea is wrong, even if that idea is one that you truly don't believe and truly cant except, the very worst that's going to happen, is you're going to be very ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ sure that that's the case.