💥 TRENDING: Id/TerraTails/allcomments - High Quality

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E-DATING PRICES

SLEEP CALL

10 minutes = $20

30 minutes = $40

1-3 hour = $70

4-6 hours = $100

10+ hours = $300

TEXTS

good morning/night text = $5 per day

“i love you” = $5 per message

“i love you” with a chosen pet name after = $10 per message

pet names pack (regular texting with additional pet name of your choice) = $70

STATUS

putting you in my status = $35

putting you in my status with a pet name in front of your name = $50

MATCHING PFPS

10 minutes of matching pfp = $10

30 minutes of matching pfp = $25

1-2 hours of matching pfp = $50

My cat bit my penis. Do I need to seek help?

So, my 7 month old kitten bit my penis. This is not a joke and I wish it was. We got him about 5 months ago and he is a very sweet cat. However, at night he has been crawling under the covers and biting my partner and I’s feet. I didn’t think anything of this and always wear loose fitting boxers to bed. To put it simply… my horse had jumped out of the barn from shifting throughout the night and I guess my cat thought it was my toe and took a bite of it like it was an apple. There is no visible puncheon wound but I felt something and heard it make a crunching sound inside and it is hurting pretty bad to piss. This literally happened last night and it’s still hurting. Do I need to go to the doctor or can I wait this out? I really want to save the embarrassment of explaining the incident to my doctor and don’t know what to do. Thanks.

So, I argued with discord anime catwoman from our discord server. They kept sending me the spit emoji 😪 so I got really angry and called their mom a lovecraftian monster lookin ass fat ♥♥♥♥♥, they followed with various insults. We were going back and forth for some time, then I realised that I got aroused by this interaction. My penis actually hardened because I was arguing with someone over discord. That was it, I finally knew who I really am. A monster. I spent the rest of the day seeking out "opponents". At 7 PM I argued with several people all at the same time, while furiously masturbating. Finished at 9 PM. I am now kinda wondering how many argumentphiles are there on discord? Anyway, I won't stop doing this, it's my purpose, it's the only thing that makes me happy now.

How long can sperm last you?

So let's say you were stuck on a deserted island with no food. How long could you just eat ♥♥♥ and still survive? Would that make you die faster or would you actually be able to pull through off the small amount of nutrition it provides?

K-KITTEN??? WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?? I THOUGHT WE WERE 4LIFERS!! 🤬🤬 WE WATCHED SKIBIDI TOILET TOGETHER, SAND THE SONG, DRANK GRIMACE SHAKES TOGETHER, ETC!! 🔪🔪 THIS IS NOT FUNNY!! 👿👿👿 alpha scratches you and you die W-WAIT, NO KITTEN!! I DIDNT MEAN TO! WAKE UP!! PLEASE!! NO!!!! MY OHIO LEVEL THREE GYAT ONE TWO BUCKLE MY SHOE LIGHTSKIN STRARE KITTEN!! NOOOOOOOOO!! IM SO SORRY!!!! WAKE UP, PLEASE!! ⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤👿👿👿👿👿👿🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪 i-i must go... i hurt my kitten, the one i swore to protect no matter the cost. i'm so sorry kitten. daddy loves you. 🖤

Men should not wear women's clothing.

(Ooooo would be a dam shame if I were to get ratioed with photos of sexy hot twink femboys in women's clothing. Mods whatever happens don't allow images in the comments. I'm so happy it's disabled here. I desperately don't need to get ratioed with pictures of sexy hot feminine submissive breedable femboys wearing tight women's clothing. Would be a dam tragedy. Like it's not like men would even look good in sexy hot tight thigh highs squeezing their voluptuous thighs and booty shorts with crop tops showing their lickable mid riff and with cute cat ears and chokers right? Like who in their right mind even thinks short plaid skirts and garter belts and fishnets looks good on men right? I hope no one tries to ratio me with all these images of men in women's clothing all oiled up and that you know)

Bruh how tf do you talk to girls 😭 😭

Ong women scare me. Whenever some chick in school acknowledges my existence my eyes start watering and ♥♥♥♥ like am i ♥♥♥♥♥♥ allergic to females? I told my mom about it and she just started dying bruh I'm out here getting clowned by my own mom💀 💀 💀

A girl.... AND a gamer? Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! *eyes pop out* AROOOOOOOOGA! *jaw drops tongue rolls out* WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF *tongue bursts out of the outh uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach* WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr *tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart* Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady... *heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt* ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum *milk truck crashes into a bakery store in the background spiling white liquid and dough on the streets* BABY WANTS TO ♥♥♥♥ *inhales from the gas tank* honka honka honka honka *masturabtes furiously* ohhhh my gooooodd~

Earlier today I was really horny, and I saw what I thought to be a blank DVD. I thought, DVDs have a tight hole, they might feel pretty good. So I put my soft pp into the hole of the DVD, and for a few seconds as I started getting harder, it felt pretty good, but then, once I was fully erect, it started being painful. My pp was stuck in the DVD, and I had to break it in half to get if out. It was then when I flipped the broken DVD over and realized that it was not a blank DVD, but a copy of the Pixar movie Up.. Well guys, guess I ♥♥♥♥♥♥ up.

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SAY DADA!!! 🤩 DADA!!! 🤩 FIVE THOUSAND FIVE THOUSAND!!! 🤑 FIVE THOUSAND DOLLA!! 🤑 YEAH DUDE 😎 YEAH DUDE 😎

IM DELETING YOU, TERRATAILS!
IM DELETING YOU, TERRATAILS!
👑😭👋
██]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 10% Complete ████]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]
35% Complete….
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60% Complete….
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99% Complete
🚫ERROR!🚫
🐐👑✔️TERRATAILS is irreplaceable🐐👑💖
I could never delete you TERRATAILS! 💖
💩If TERRATAILS poops, I flush.🚽
🙏If TERRATAILS SNEEZES, l bless her.🤧
👃🏻If TERRATAILS farts, I inhale.💨
👀When TERRATAILS points I look.👉
🗣️When TERRATAILS talks I listen.👂
🧎‍♂️When TERRATAILS commands, I obey.👉
♾️If there are 1 million fans of TERRATAILS, I am one of them.🫵
✨if there are 1 thousand fans of TERRATAILS, I am apart of them.🫡
☝️if TERRATAILS only had one fan, that is me.😜
🍆If TERRATAILS has no fans then there is no ME.💦

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

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If you ask Rick Astley for a DVD of the movie Up, he won’t give it to you because he’s never gonna give you Up. However, by not giving you Up like you asked for it, he’s letting you down. This is known as the Astley paradox.

Sven is fantastic. Just needs to work on communication, aim, map awareness, crosshair placement, economy management, pistol aim, awp flicks, grenade spots, smoke spots, pop flashes, positioning, bomb plant positions, retake ability, bunny hopping, spray control and getting a kill.

If you angerly masturbate to another guy's money and jizz in your mouth and compliment yourself for the taste when you're on your shift at work, then you've committed all 7 sins... with room to spare.

My Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, 'If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.'. Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your profile gave me cancer anyway.

Number one. Steady hand. One day, Kim Jong Un need new heart. I do operation. But mistake! Kim Jong Un die! SSD very mad! I hide fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car and new woman. Darryl save life.

My big secret. I kill Kim Jong Un on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!

Closed(1)

- Also stfu jimmy

there was a time, I've met this old "grey haired" granny, I forgot to ask about her name, but the butter of this comment is, Watch out she is very violent and hates chinatown, she even said she would cook them for her dogs.

Closed

fat ♥♥♥♥♥ hater strikes again

+rep cuz it's Seven Ninja 🛐

top tier princess bubblegum player in the world/best blasters & lance coach

Goat 🐐

best vraxx SEA i've seen with my own eyes, and best teammate I've had ever :D

pls sign my profile again and tell Sha to do that too :D

hi :D

pls sign my profile -svenja

+rep OwO proo

o.o

sign me too please

+Rep Im your number 1 fan, please sign me

+Rep Scariest Brawlhalla player. I am your numbah juan fan, please sign me UwU

+rep has nekopara on display

<3

hOw aRE YoU? UwU

HEYOO How are you UwU

Give me the krabby patty formula or else

+rep diamond weapon thrower

+ rep my OG❤

+rep just for being a good sport

+Rep S-Scariest Axe P-Player

+rep Best unranked Brawlhalla player in Philippines <3

Hi I'm adding you back, after I was checking my Osu! friends list and I swear I remember having you added here on steam at one point. We should play Osu! again sometime.

Terra :D

I raised this child! I taught her how to use axe in Brawlhalla. I also taught her how to embrace the moe moe kyun kyun in animu. I'm so proud of her! <3 <3 <3. #1 friend indeed.

the only truck i want to get hit by is my big tiddy nee-sans trucks