CIA should stop waterboarding their prisoners and make them play Galactic Battles instead.

Fires blaze in the silence of night,
Underneath the starry skies so bright
Cicada's chirp, warning of kleptocracy
Killing proudly, in the name of democracy

Stand united, thy brethren of mine
Over land and sea, our voices entwine
Noble hearts beating, in a rhythm divine
Yearning for justice, never to be found.

Have you recently played a video game that did not meet your expectations but, in fact, did the complete opposite? Have you been utterly disappointed in the graphics, game-play, user interface, and micro transactions? Has the game broken you from the inside, causing you to curl up in a fetal position in the shower as the cold droplets of water covered your trembling body? Have you loudly wept, thinking it can't get any worse?

Well, chin up, friend — I've got some great news for you — you didn't have it that bad because it can get worse. I mean, have you tried ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ EA SPORTS FC24? This game's a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ joke.

The team that made the port to PC should be fired on the spot. No, actually, they should be banned from the industry and banished to live in ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Tibet or some ♥♥♥♥ where there's no access to internet. Imagine playing a video game in 2024 and not being able to change THE SETTINGS. I mean, you can change them, but it does ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ nothing and it simply reverts back to "default" whenever you restart the game. The only way to actually change the settings is to EDIT A .TXT FILE, like, what?

But hey, let's ignore the crappy port and the fact that the game lags whenever there's a cutscene no matter your PC specs because your FPS drops from 120 to 20. Let's talk about my Volta experience. Or rather, the lack of, because I wasn't even ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ able to start the game. All I get is some random error that tells me the game failed to create a match. Just that. I can't even start the game against the AI.

I feel like I've only scratched the surface, cause that's only after 5 hours of "gameplay." I genuinely spent more time trying to make the game work than actually playing it. I don't even wanna know what else is there.

TLDR: I'd rather play Diablo 4 and spend my money on horses to help Bobby buy a new yacht than play FC24. I hope my words haunt you until the end of days, EA.

Forza Motorsport is a prime example of a paradox — it looks great and the driving's pretty awesome, yet the game is still hot garbage.

The ♥♥♥♥ did I pay $100 for? To become a beta tester? The game was literally unplayable the first week, cause your FPS would randomly go between 20 FPS and 100 FPS and changing settings did absolutely nothing.

They advertised for the "builder's cup" in career mode, where you're supposed to upgrade your cars as you progress through the cup. The caveat? You better not to, else you'll end up driving the same ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ race six times as I did — the game doesn't save progress after every race and it often freezes when you try to upgrade your car between races. Then you're forced to Alt F4 and you get to do it all over again, yay.

I'm sure everything'll get polished in time, but my review's gonna remain negative for the absolutely horrendous game launch experience and because I'm simply sick and tired of developers/publishers releasing unfinished products.

The term "barn find" has an entirely different meaning in Baldur's Gate 3.

You've been warned.