🔒 EXCLUSIVE: Id/adrazns/stats//achievements

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked Jul 14, 2015 @ 12:04am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked Jul 14, 2015 @ 12:03am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked Jul 14, 2015 @ 9:50pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked Jul 14, 2015 @ 12:01am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked Jul 14, 2015 @ 3:25am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked Jul 14, 2015 @ 5:59am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked Jul 14, 2015 @ 8:49am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked Jul 14, 2015 @ 10:08am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked Jul 14, 2015 @ 9:28pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked Jul 14, 2015 @ 11:32pm

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked Jul 10, 2019 @ 8:55am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked Jul 15, 2015 @ 8:51am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked Jun 18, 2019 @ 9:55pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked Jul 14, 2015 @ 8:44am

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked Jul 11, 2019 @ 1:00am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked Jul 15, 2015 @ 8:47am

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked Jul 16, 2015 @ 12:35am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked Jul 14, 2015 @ 5:52am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked Jul 14, 2015 @ 11:04pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked Jun 19, 2019 @ 3:53am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked Jul 15, 2015 @ 2:54am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked Jul 14, 2015 @ 10:00am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked Jul 14, 2015 @ 10:48am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked Jul 14, 2015 @ 9:10am

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked Jul 14, 2015 @ 9:32pm

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Unlocked Jul 14, 2019 @ 11:42pm

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Unlocked Jul 14, 2019 @ 11:42pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked Jul 15, 2015 @ 2:57am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked Jul 15, 2015 @ 9:04am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked Jul 14, 2015 @ 8:47am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked Jul 14, 2015 @ 7:58am

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked Jul 16, 2015 @ 2:41am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked Jun 14, 2021 @ 2:41am

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked Jun 19, 2019 @ 3:52am

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked Jul 14, 2015 @ 8:51am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked Jul 14, 2015 @ 8:24am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked Jul 14, 2015 @ 12:04am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked Jul 13, 2015 @ 11:37pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked Jul 14, 2015 @ 8:01am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked Jul 16, 2015 @ 12:28am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked Jul 15, 2015 @ 3:09am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked Jul 15, 2015 @ 8:32am

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked Jun 19, 2019 @ 3:52am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked Jul 14, 2015 @ 9:10am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked Jun 18, 2019 @ 9:47pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked Jul 15, 2015 @ 4:52am

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked Jun 11, 2021 @ 8:10am

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked Jul 14, 2015 @ 11:33pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked Jun 9, 2021 @ 5:33am

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked Jun 11, 2021 @ 6:30am

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked Jun 14, 2021 @ 4:02am

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked Jun 18, 2021 @ 4:01am

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

Unlocked Jun 25, 2021 @ 6:40am

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Unlocked Jun 25, 2021 @ 6:40am

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked Jun 11, 2021 @ 7:29am

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

Unlocked Jun 22, 2021 @ 5:41am

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

8 / 30

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

25 / 30

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

6 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

19 / 30

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