This game scratched an itch so deep and with such intensity that I now live in doubt that I will ever enjoy another RPG as much as this one. The combat is totally engaging, the story is mesmerising, and I've been listening to the soundtrack for days on end.

Simply put: if you do not play this game, you will miss out on a genre-defining experience.

It is 100%, without a shadow of a doubt, worth your time, and if it doesn't win Game of the Year then this is truly the worst timeline.

This game contains the hardest projectile-based camel boss fight I've ever experienced.

10/10, would use a slingshot to fire narcolepsy-inducing fruit directly into animals' faces again.

This game cured me of my ingrained zoophilia within 5 minutes of startup.

I've since uninstalled in order to recover.

22 inches / 10

Once upon a time, I punched a man so hard that he instantly died.

10/10, would skip leg day again.