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Recent reviews by SmokeWhat?!

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Showing 1-10 of 12 entries
No one has rated this review as helpful yet
20.4 hrs on record
This is a beatiful and amazing game. At the begging i found myself very annoyed by the fact that the small little fella was taking too damn long doing the most basic things such as walking (hate slow walkers). But eventually i realised the beauty of taking your own time and enjoying life at a slower pace. He takes his time reading, harvesting or walking and that allows you to enjoy the journey of learning and being aware of your surroundings. As im writing this, the little shade is walking to a random place, sometimes i let him do that cuz it makes me feel like im allowing him to explore the inmensity of the caves and the place he lives in and that i'm just a watcher of his giant tiny universe. Now i find myself feeling some sort of love and appreciation for this small creature and the way he visualises the world itself with the problems he faces throughout the game. Facing the darkness was not easy, either was becoming it. He appreciates every tiny creature, a sheet of paper, finding things around or just the peace of sitting on his little armchair and staring into space. I tried to please him in every way even though he never asked for anything but to wait 400 days, and of course tried not to make him eat anything poisonous or make him scared. This game showed me parience and that there is beauty on taking your own time doing your own things instead of falling for this "i want everything now" society. Sometimes we just forget that the real purpose of us in this life is to live it the best way you can. A 10/10.
Posted January 5.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
3.0 hrs on record
high on life, everything and everywhere. just high.
Posted November 27, 2023.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
0.5 hrs on record
Early Access Review
Literally Tarkov but worse and darker.
Posted August 13, 2023.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
49.7 hrs on record
Nothing to say about this weird ass game except that i got so used to killing and chopping people that as soon as i saw Timmy everything i wanted to do was chop him down and add him to a firepit for me to eat later on. Also, where tf is my wife and why do i know nothing about her in the whole game? Where was my plane going and why my child and i were the only ones dressed normally appart from some random tennis players (with so many tennis balls wtf) and travel lovers with said tshirts on?
Anyways, don't play this game if you wanna walk around the map chilling and petting animals, just kill everything you see or they will kill you first. (and yes, there's a monster that gives birth as an attack move)
Posted June 28, 2023. Last edited June 28, 2023.
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1 person found this review helpful
129.9 hrs on record (84.1 hrs at review time)
At first the game was quite slow. I was spending days and days cutting trees to earn enough money to buy Sam a pizza. Sometimes I even had a little money left over for a few extra seeds. The first year passed and i ended up with a successful wedding with the mommy's kid. Everything after that got so smoothly: I had extra rooms for my stuff, I was completing the community center, was becoming an expert miner and i even was able to buy few animals! But then it happened: Sam decided to have a son. The boy who would lead us (and our marriage) to ruin.
Every morning i'd wake up and see the f**king child in the crib, sleeping, being completely useless (like his father). After a few weeks, the kid went from useless to creepy. I was waking up with fear, scared since the child would spent hours standing in the crib observing every single movement i made. I was looking for any excuse to leave the house and not see him, home wasn't a safe space anymore. Then, 'THE FINAL PHASE' arrived. Every morning I didn't have time to improve my cooking skills or to stay those 'five more minutes' in bed. This little monster was running around the house and the morning greeting to my husband was no longer an option. I even have to put the bed just beside the door to avoid that son of the devil!!
A few seasons passed and I began to get used to see him swarming around. I wasn't afraid anymore, therapy was working out and sometimes I even stopped to caress him. My husband and I were at the height of our relationship, everything was going smoothly! Until it happened again, yes, Sam had to go and ruin everything like every man does in this planet earth: He asked me for another child. (Going back to therapy, he meant.) 'NO motherfking way', I told myself.
Nowadays i can ''happily'' say that i'm the mother of two traumatised children who didn't grow up with a mother figure so they will never be able to be responsible adults like his father and i never were. I ended up accepting that my desire to bring life to this world to create trauma was bigger than my desire for peace and singleness. I curse the day I let myself be carried away by the love of an unfutured guitarist.
Posted November 29, 2021. Last edited November 29, 2021.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
348.0 hrs on record (125.4 hrs at review time)
CS:GO Review
My relationship with this game is the most toxic thing i've ever experienced in my entire life. (worse than my ex) The only thing I think about when I'm playing it is: 'why didn't i commit suicide yet' and 'oh my god I hate this game so much imma delete it soon' but i swear it's impossible to quit, it always finds a way to come back to me and bring out the worst in me.
DO NOT download this game, go play candy crush and enjoy a better life not knowing what pain is.
Posted January 25, 2021.
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6 people found this review helpful
7 people found this review funny
31.3 hrs on record (1.4 hrs at review time)
The story was kind of cool but while you are waiting for 'her' to reply you have nothing else to do but play with a white square jumping on every message that's in the screen or falling over and over again 'till the day it's done. The answers are not always easy to pick cuz the bloody square jumps where it wants and that makes u have to repeat the whole day again or keep the answer it chose.
The archievements are the worst thing about this game. Who tf thought that putting 2 impossible archievements in a short game was cool? I was expecting to be happy about finally getting a gf AND 13 more archievements for my collection but y'all screwed up by keeping me waiting 2 DAYS looking at a black creen with a lonely blue message on it for a conversation that lasted 4 messages counted. Not even my pets got this much attention. My heart is broken, my computer is on fire and so is my mind.
I would only recommend this game to the people i hate who are also addicted to steam achievements because that way they'd spend their whole lives trying to figure out how to get the last achievement or they'd spend hours and hours waiting for a f**ing machine to decide to answer them. 'Left on read' they decided to call it. Well done motherf**.
Posted December 23, 2020. Last edited December 23, 2020.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
91.2 hrs on record (61.9 hrs at review time)
One of my daughters got bugged selling flowers and had to use a mod to get her back. As soon as she spawned in my house i couldn't talk to her so sometimes she spents days lost outside while her sister is being a good daughter and i can only see her if she finds the way back by herself. She doesn't recognize me as her mother but she asks for money everytime i go home to leave stuff and i'm starting to hate kids just because of her.
There's also hella dragons that f**k you up unexpectedly while you're just chilling around haunting or doing secundary missions and i'm starting to hate dragons as well cuz no matter how many of them you kill, there's still gonna be more.
Last thing is that my horse gets bugged in every place he cans, citizens like to stumble upon everything or get stuck in random corners and the map routs are worse than those on my grandpa's 50 y/o gps.
Recommended 100%, every minute i spent on this game (and will spend) was worth it and i'm in love with all of it.
Posted December 15, 2020. Last edited December 15, 2020.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
70.2 hrs on record
Mazo finales (normalmente no acabas viéndolos todos por pura pereza de repetir TODA la historia de nuevo), muchos personajes que descubrir (y a los cuales cogerles cariño), una historia principal bien construída y unos gráficos increíbles. 11/10 (punto adicional porque Connor es más guapo que el actor así que puedes ver al clon guapo en tu ordenador cuando y cuanto quieras ;))
Posted November 30, 2020. Last edited November 30, 2020.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
0.9 hrs on record
I thought i was into parkour stuff until i started to play this game. I realized that all the paths i took were the longest and the only ones i could do walking instead of jumping in every possible place so i (of course) had to repeat every mission hella times which is the reason why i got bored so easily.
I played for a few hours and then i proceeded to unistall it and never talk about parkour again.
Everything else is fine, don't let my bad experience as a parkour-person destroy your desire to experience parkour.
If u like parkour, you are definitely in the right place.
Posted November 1, 2020.
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Showing 1-10 of 12 entries