💎 PREMIUM: Id/dantalkspositive/allcomments - High Quality

You know, Dan, I’m an easygoing guy, a real laid back ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. I don’t need much from anybody, I don’t judge people and I don’t set very high standards. I’m the kinda guy who’ll throw his ♥♥♥♥ on the bbq when there’s no sausages left and the neighbour wants a bite of that goodness. I’m the kinda guy who’d ♥♥♥♥ your dog in your front yard when your internet is down so you have something to jack off to.

I’m the chillest ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ you’ll ever meet, and I don’t ask much from nobody, but I like my theories coherent, my claims empirically supported and my equations void of infinities. I don’t know nothing ‘bout no 26 dimensions or superstrings, I like theories with as many dimensions as me and my wife share balls: 4. I don’t need no microscopic dimensions, I don’t need no hula hoop vibrations to yangle my dangle, and the only string I know is the one I wore to your daughter’s birthday party.

Is that too much for a man to ask these days?

"When I was younger, my uncle Rick took me to the batting cages every two weeks or so. I feel like I'm in the batting cages now, but someone's locked me in the cage and taken my bat. The only question left is, do I catch the balls, or do I dodge them?"

accidental rage quit; my bad. Want to play more?

I run the Rick and Morty Club at my school - we come together, browse Reddit, make some Deadpool memes and watch Rick and Morty. We don't talk to each other but there's a cute girl there I'm gonna try and ask out. I'm a nice guy and I dress well (fedora + trench coat + brown-stained underwear + well-trimmed beard lightly seasoned with dust and corn syrup) so I just know I've got a good chance with her. I've already messaged her on Facebook, I just haven't got a response yet.

Hey I found your steam through a mutual and I just wanted to say that I think we could get along real well :) I don't normally do things like this cause I'm a real gentleman :3, but do you want to maybe play a bit of cs sometime (omg I'm so embarrassed) >< I could go on my smurf so you don't have to put in that much effort, even though you're like the best and you'll probably be on top every round. When I see your name I just feel like we have this special connection that I can't describe in words, I think.. maybe we knew each other in a past life xDD like I can do the cooking and everything, you don't have to worry about that cuz I'm a real feminist, but I'll still take care of you <3 I know how to make a woman feel like a girl, but I won't do anything that freaks you out, just say one word and I'll stop so so fast! so maybe just consider me? I can't believe I'm writing this all out to you >< !! Even if you reject me it's all worth it just for you, my wuv <3 (plz don't reject me !!)

As a brony, now I understand how the Jews felt during the Holocaust, and how negroes during slavery. This violent persecution of the Brony lifestyle in unacceptable and needs to be brought to attention of the United Nation's Human Rights Council.

Hey guys I'm not gay, I play football. I accidentally clicked this thread because I thought my mouse was hovered over the hot girls thread. Well, since I'm here I had a question let's say hypothetically I had gay thoughts (lol yea right) and I found my close friend attractive (ew gross) and one day we had sex in the back of my car after football practice (I would puke...the only thing I bang is chicks with big tits you know what I'm saying lol) but we didn't kiss. Would that be gay? We were wasted and while we were banging we kept calling each other ♥♥♥♥. It's almost like a parody of when we bang chicks (remember this didn't happen). So that wouldn't make me gay right? Just a jokester?

Your story reminds of my favorite Twitch streamer. She also used to have two cats like that. I started out mostly lurking in her channel and barely ever commenting so she ended up referring to me by the laid back cats name and a really funny but hyper guy who'd sometimes go off on huge rants (probably had aspergers) got her crazy cats name.

Now I'm depressed though cause I have to relieve the worst mistake of my life.

I had been faithfully watching her for almost a year and she mostly played League and Hearthstone plus sandboxy fun games like Little Big Planet and Minecraft. Those games weren't really my cup of tea put her personality and sense of humor were so great that I didn't care.

no

She only had about 60 average viewers but we all adored her and there was a great sense of community among everyone. I was super excited that night cause it was her one year twitch anniversary and she invited us all to drink with her to celebrate.

I woke up with a massive hangover still in front of the computer and instantly went to her twitch page to check out the vod and was met with a "this account does not exist or has been deleted message." I'm not proud but my first thought was hoping that she had gotten a bit to flirty in her drunken state and maybe even flashed chat which led to a temporary ban from twitch, I then went to her twitter and her last tweet was "I'm sorry, I just can't even...I'm out." I started to replay the night back in my head and noticed one of my "hidden" folders was open and ohhh no..oh god no...

The night started out great, with many toasts to her subs and longtime lurkers but as she drank more she gradually got more and more morose and started to open up about her personal life. She said she loved streaming but she wanted to do this as a career and her parents had given her a year to prove it was viable until she needed to get a "real job" and her time was pretty much up and she was scared. She also talked about how she was undateable (very untrue!) and no man would ever want her. All she really wanted out of life other than making it as a streamer was to be a housewife and mother but she would probably screw that up too, ♥♥♥♥ my life!! And she tilted the webcam away so we couldnt see her cry.

I was drinking shots of whiskey to her swigs of champagne and was even drunker than her at this point, and typed "Actually you'd be an amazing mother!!!" And I then uploaded a shota gallery of her and me I had been working on for 6 months to imgur and being a longtime mod I was able to link it directly in chat.

I'm a cartoon storyboard artist by trade and had put more effort into this than my real job. In between the sex parts it was full of inside jokes from the stream and the storyline was basically "me coming home from school and walking in on mom in the shower" which should be familiar to anyone familiar with the "genre." It even involved several personal aspects of her life I had discovered from a bit of internet detective work.

Seeing the look of horror dawn on her face as she scrolled in disbelief I immediately started apologizing but she ended the stream and I screamed ♥♥♥♥!!! and punched a hole in the wall and started chugging the whiskey in an effort to forget what I did and soon passed out.

It's been 3 months and she hasn't come back, the only saving grace is I deleted the gallery before passing out and nothing made it onto r/cringe or livestreamfails. If I'd just offered her kind words of support she probably would have ended up streaming on Saturdays and we might even have a budding relationship going on.