🔞 ADULT: Id/dermonaysy - Collection

I LOVE AUTOSLOP I LOVE AUTOSLOP I LOVE AUTOSLOP I LOVE AUTOSLOP!!!!!!

EVERY DAY I WAKE UP, AND I PRESENT MY BARE GAPING ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ FOR MORE AUTOSLOP!!! I WADDLE TO MY COMPUTER WITH MY REPLICA AKM, M11 AND FLAMETHROWER WEDGED FIRMLY BETWEEN MY CHEEKS, AND BOOT UP A GAME OF QUICK CASH!!

I EQUIP MY FAVORITE SPRAY AND PRAY BULLETHOSE, AND START THE MATCH. IMMEDIATELY, I SEE A *LIGHT* AND I START BLASTING!

I MISS OVER HALF MY SHOTS BECAUSE I'M TOO BUSY NEARLY CLIMAXING FROM THE PLEASURE OF ALL THAT AUTOSLOP DIRECTLY IN MY PROSTATE, BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER, I GET THE KILL ANYWAYS.

THIS REMINDS ME OF MY FAVORITE GAME, CALL OF DUTY, SO I START VIOLENTLY JACKNG IT TO THE THOUGHT OF ADDING MORE AUTOSLOP TO THE FINALS

"*UOOHHHHH WHAT IF THE FINALS WAS EVEN MORE LIKE COD??!!??*" I MOAN TO MYSELF. "*UUUUOOUUHHH GODDDDD, WHAT IF EMBARK ADDED A NEW SMG OR AUTORIFLE EVERY SEASON UOHHHHHH*"

BUT JUST AS I'M SITTING AFK, ABOUT TO REACH AN AUTOSLOPPY CLIMAX, A DIRTY DISGUSTING ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ MELEE PLAYER SNEAKS UP BEHIND ME AND KILLS ME!!!!!??!!

IMMEDIATELY, I GO LIMP AS A NOODLE, AND I OPEN REDDIT. "*guys, actually, if you think about it, the dagger is kind of OP and embark should nerf it again*" I SAY. "*The finals is a shooter game???? Uh, why do we have melee weapons at all??!!??*"



I SIGH WITH RELIEF. NOW I CAN JACK MY ♥♥♥♥ WHILE HOLDING M1 IN THE GENERAL DIRECTION OF MY TARGET IN PEACE LIKE GOD INTENDED.

BUT THIS ISN'T ENOUGH, IT'S NEVER ENOUGH. I MARCH INTO EMBARK HQ.

"MAKE ME MORE AUTOSLOP!!" I SCREAM AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS. MY ASSCHEEKS ENGORGED AND QUIVERING FROM STORING OVER HALF THE GAME'S WEAPONS IN MY TIGHT SLOPPY HOLE.

"*b-b-b-b-b-but sir!!! The archetype is already so oversaturated, we have no idea how we could possibly add any more!*" OSCAR WHIMPERS, KNEELING BEFORE MY ALMIGHTY FORM.

"I DON'T CARE IF IT MAKES SENSE, JUST GIVE ME MORE AUTOSLOP" I SCREAM AS I PISS AND ♥♥♥♥ MYSELF ALL OVER THE FLOOR AT THE THOUGHT OF A VERSION OF THE FINALS WHERE 90% OF THE LOBBY ISN'T USING AN AUTOMATIC RIFLE AT ALL TIMES.

BUT IT'S NOT ENOUGH, IT'S NEVER ENOUGH. I GO TO THE EMBARK SERVERS, I DELETE THE GAME, AND INSTALL A NEW COPY OF CALL OF DUTY, POSTMODERN WARFARE 69 INSTEAD (a superior game)

AND FINALLY, ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD.

I LOVE AUTOSLOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!