19
Products
reviewed
354
Products
in account

Recent reviews by bruised puppy wife

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Showing 1-10 of 19 entries
1 person found this review helpful
49.4 hrs on record (17.7 hrs at review time)
This is genuinely one of the greatest games I have ever played. I have little to no complaints. The Emperor protects.
Posted September 9, 2024.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
61.8 hrs on record (53.3 hrs at review time)
game fun, please do not screw up more sony
Posted May 5, 2024. Last edited July 30, 2024.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
33.2 hrs on record (9.3 hrs at review time)
biggest issue right now is no gay sex
Posted February 4, 2023.
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1 person found this review helpful
1 person found this review funny
11.3 hrs on record (8.8 hrs at review time)
I can hop in a call with a buddy, blast heavy metal, gun down an entire platoon with a BTR, hop out, heal a squad mate as the medic, tell him he has aids, get back in the BTR, and blow up a helicopter. If you have some patience, a good group of friends, and an hour or so, buy this game. You won't regret it.
Posted October 24, 2022.
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7 people found this review helpful
4 people found this review funny
2
4
3.0 hrs on record (2.2 hrs at review time)
This is the greatest version of chess in today's current society. The visual design is striking, with a harsh and bright aesthetic being used to hide the truly Shakespearean levels of depth and tragedy in the true lore of the game, which I won't go into due to spoilers. The meticulous art direction and dazzling use of subtle, "show, don't tell" techniques leads to a beautiful and haunting experience that I will cherish for the rest of my life.

Story aside, the gameplay truly speaks for itself. Each interaction, careful and meticulous, feels like an elegant dance between two foes, fighting for their own lives and ideals, making you feel empathetic, even towards your most hated nemesis. The way each piece flows like water in the players hands leads to a combat system that stands among the titans of this industry, such as Doom or Devil May Cry V.

The balancing is immaculate, with each Hero having its own place amongst the cast. The Pawn, with his brilliant use of comradery and friendship to create an on the fly ally alongside his high potential for movement techniques leads to one of the most core Heroes of the game being one of your most valued members. The Knight, with his noble bow and arrow, striking from afar to put fear into the opponents heart, making them cower behind cover, only to be destroyed nonetheless. The Bishop, with his graceful gliding through the open air, letting you discover a new world of versatility and freedom amongst the sky. The Rook, with his carefully placed shots ending even the strongest of foes in only a matter of moments, left bleeding and helpless under the ruthless glint of his scope. The Queen and her terrifying machine-gun raining hellfire from above, using her own comrades as cover in a show of pure, Kafkaesque brutality to gain any advantage over her foes. As the Yin to her Yang, The King is a benevolent leader, using an honorable great-sword and drawing the foe in close for a graceful and honorable duel to their final breath, giving even the most despicable, disgraceful opponents another chance to atone and fight without malice. The combat is truly something that cannot be described, and must be experienced. The perfect mixture of challenge, skill, and intellect, this is truly the Dark Souls of Chess games.

The map design is immaculate. I'd dare to say that it is even timeless! The careful sculpting of each individual inch of the map shows in both gameplay, and from the eye of a true artist. The table that you originally believe that confines you is able to be broken, the Heroes shattered into pieces, you may break free of your shackles and escape to the outer edges of the room! This is a beautiful piece of narrative storytelling, allowing to player to quite literally break out of their cage and experience the world anew. My biggest gripe with the map is the gramophone to the east of the board. This small section of the map allows for a cowardly retreat and heal technique that ruins even the most professional of matches. All in all, the map is fantastic, and the player controlled escape of their chains truly left a tear in my eye the first time I discovered it. We have needed this tasteful commentary on the ending of the African slave trade that went on in the United States of America in the early 19th century, and still holds true to the racial prejudice that goes on to this day.

Overall, this game is a masterpiece. I will play this for many moons to come, and am glad that I was on the earth at the same time as this gift from god. My children and grandchildren and grandchildren's grandchildren will hear tales of this legendary game for eons to come. Through my extensive time with this game, my experience as the greatest FPS Chess player in North America, and overall perspective as an artist, I can indubitably confirm; that this is a hood classic. Thank you for your time, and I pray we never cross upon the battlefield. I bid you farewell!
Posted July 22, 2022.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
5.2 hrs on record (4.1 hrs at review time)
Early Access Review
This game has a lot of promise, and it definitely accomplishes what it sets out to do. The visual style is fun, progression is easy to understand if not a bit tedious, and the gameplay loop is an interesting take on the 4v1 formula. However, I have plenty of problems with the game. None are deal breakers for me, and all can be easily addressed in a variety of ways! First, the balancing; As a monster main, I feel that the game is EXTREMELY teen sided. Many of the weapons kill very fast, and when being hit it's basically a game over unless you play very carefully. A small fix to address this could be either low the rate of fire on some of the
weapons, do a universal ammo nerf, or just raise the amount of time it takes to banish with those weapons. Next, the maps don't lend to the monster very well either, with a lot of hidey holes and corners for the teens to sit in and wait for you to run past. Something like the crow system from Dead by Daylight would be nice here, as I've had more than a few run-ins with teens that craft a weapon, find a door, then camp behind it. Thirdly, the kill times should be much faster. I've had situations where a teen is hit 7 times, have been downed for what feels like minutes, and just will not die. I think that the teens should only have about 70-80% of their current health pool, as playing the monster sometimes feels like you're downing them upwards of 4 times for little to no results. Finally, and most important to me, the weapons that use AoE or that can be taken control of either need to be nerfed into the ground or outright removed. Yes, you can nullify them using your defensive ability, but they're still much too powerful. Not to mention, the ammo consumption of them means that even if it is nullified with an ability, you can just boot it back up with basically no penalty. The RC helicopter and eye are the two main offenders of this. I feel like any weapon variant that does not require the player to be in some kind of danger leads to a game of keepaway that isn't fun for either player. A change to the way these use ammo would be the best idea to me, where rather than have an ammo pool for fuel, they are one time use items that require you to navigate perfectly and will be lost if used improperly. Now all of this is just my armchair developer standpoint, and I'm sure that a lot of my complaints and fixes would completely ruin the game's balancing in the monster's favor. However, as the game stands, the teens win 7/10 matches if they play even just okay, because a lot of the weapon upgrades just do not make it doable for the killer. All in all, this game is fantastic and shows a ton of promise. Balancing and minor UI bugs can be fixed, but there's nothing that is baked into the game that ruins it for me. Plus, it's free, so what do you have to lose by trying it?
Posted July 21, 2022.
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1 person found this review helpful
8,693.2 hrs on record (575.7 hrs at review time)
i can spam the lonely island saying "♥♥♥♥♥" while in discord with friends

must have
Posted January 31, 2022.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
239.8 hrs on record (146.8 hrs at review time)
When I first played this game I wasn't really a fan. I've been a massive Titanfall 2 fan since early 2017, back when I played mainly on console. When this game came out, it was fun, but not really my cup of tea. I ended up hating the game because it "wasn't Titanfall 3," and that's pretty much it. However, over time I've grown more and more of an itch to try the game, until I tried giving it a fair shot. Best decision I've made in a long time.

The style, charm, and flow that Respawn is so masterful at creating tied in with some of the best BR mechanics I've seen, hands down. Even simple things like the respawn system that made the game so massively different from others (until everybody copied it), the jumpmaster system to keep teams together (PUBG copied it for a reason!), and the recent implementation of the EVO system, which is just a fantastic, subtle way of rewarding skilled and aggressive players.

Even though it's not quite on par with the godlike movement of Titanfall 2, Apex has a very interesting and complex movement system to master. Is it a little bit janky and unintentional? Absolutely. Is it fun as hell to learn? Definitely. The gunplay is punchy and takes some skill to learn how to control, but learning how to beam people from 100+ meters with an R-301 or Flatline is the best feeling in the entire game.

The grind of the game is fully achievable and natural, with new characters being unlocked over time just through playing matches and leveling up. The amount needed to grind feels fair and fun, and lets you get new characters pretty often if you know what you're doing.

A small pet peeve of mine is the map design. None of the maps are bad per se, but some are DEFINITELY better than others. My personal favorites are the original map and Olympus, because I feel like they both are the perfect size for the player count and gameplay style. World's Edge is a very fun map about 70% of the time, with the other 30% being kind of roamy and boring. That's partially because of the way they laid out the map and partially just the sheer scale of it. The worst map by far is Storm Point, and dear god is it noticeable. The locations and design of the map aren't the issue, its the size. I swear that half the game is just walking around and hoping you find somebody. Even then, its still a fun map, and balanced out by the amount of PvE that you can get into in the mean time. There aren't any BAD maps in the game, just some that are better than others.

The monetization is my biggest complaint, with every skin locked behind crafting materials, an in game store, or loot boxes, but I still haven't spent a penny on the game. Yeah, its annoying to see everybody with legendary skins coming out of every pore, but even the default skins of the game are pretty nice to look at.

Overall, Apex is one of the best Battle Royale games on the market, if not the absolute best. The characters all fill their own roles and playstyles, giving anybody who picks up Apex somebody to try out and enjoy. Even if you don't fully like one character, there is a steadily increasing roster to experiment with and enjoy! The map design varies greatly, but is overall still very good. The gunplay is tight, responsive, and feels good to master. The movement is simple but complex, and is as complicated as you want to make it. You can still climb ranks or just have a good time in casual without learning movement tech, but everything you learn in terms of movement will only give you more options to work with. In my opinion, the looks of a game don't really make it good or bad, but it certainly helps to have a pretty game. Apex takes this to heart, using a truly fascinating and beautiful visual style and art direction on the characters, guns, skins, and maps alike to make this very uniform, stylistically consistent design that flows perfectly, regardless of what skin or character you're running. Everything flows together nicely, and I can't say that there is any character, model, map, or gun that feels like it doesn't belong with the rest, which is rare for modern games (*cough cough* Fortnite *cough cough*.) Overall, this game is mechanically complex while being easy to learn, with a level of depth that can keep you coming back for hours and always learn something new. It plays well, looks amazing, and only gets better with time. If you want a new game to pick up, learn, grind, and master, or even just something to boot up casually for a few games with friends, I can't recommend this game enough.

TL;DR: Looks good, plays good, and only gets better with the more time and effort the devs put into it. Definite recommend for both casual and hardcore players.
Posted January 28, 2022. Last edited February 7, 2022.
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3 people found this review helpful
18.3 hrs on record (11.7 hrs at review time)
Woke up. Shot civilian. Harvested organs. Became multi-millionaire. Killed god. Killed boss. Killed self. CEO grindset. Good game.
Posted December 13, 2021.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
1.4 hrs on record
Early Access Review
i have returned to monke

good game
Posted December 1, 2021.
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Showing 1-10 of 19 entries