🔞 ADULT: Id/jamietwist/allcomments - Complete Album!

>says "i''m bored"
>instant headshotting everyone

I sexually Identify as an the sun. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of slamming hydrogen isotopes into each other to make helium & light and send it throught the galaxy. People say to me that a person being a star is Impossible and I’m ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon inflate me with hydrogen and raise my temperature to over 6000 °C. From now on I want you guys to call me “Sol” and respect my right to give you vitamin D and probably sunburns. If you can’t accept me you’re a fusionphobe and need to check your astral privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

R

>be me
>work at bank as a clerk
>decent enough job
>client comes in, dude is a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ millionaire so have to give VIP service
>puts the most ridiculous ♥♥♥♥ in the bank: entire sharks, a weird marionette, a priceless ancient sword wielded by a literal ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ god
>one day he comes in to withdraw some stuff
>asks for ten leather, a needle, and thread

>he puts the needle into the leather
>within one second it is an entire expertly crafted pair of leather chaps
>what the ♥♥♥♥
>he ♥♥♥♥♥♥' does it again without any hesitation
>this man is like a leather Picasso working like clockwork
>after several hundred chaps he racially abuses a gnome and teleports away

+rep black ♥♥♥♥♥

-rep

i go to store needing a new drill bit. first he says 'yes ok its in stock no worries, but first i serve mr pelling the local police officer'. ok, i wait 10 minutes. then he comes back and takes me to screwdrivers. wtf? thats not a drill bit. 'sorry he says, ok now we go to drills'.

he shows me the drill bit, but the longer i look i realise its a phillips? wtf? it's a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ screwdriver again. 'ok ok to get to drill bits we go through garden central'. we walk and he stops to smell petunias. 'you like petunias?'

FINALLY we get to drill bits. i select the diamond tipped bit and take it home. i mark the wall, measure twice, start drilling the wall... WTF, my house ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ disassembles? IT'S A ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ SCREWDRIVER AGAIN

your retarded unfourtauntly

HUH

jamie: oh btw how was edinbourough

⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠖⠒⠒⠒⢤⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⣀⢤⣼⣀⡠⠤⠤⠼⠤⡄⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠑⡤⠤⡒⠒⠒⡊⠙⡏⠀⢀ beat runescape yet son?
⠀⠀⠀⠇⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⢀⠧⠟⠁
⠀⠀⠀⠸⣀⠀⠀⠈⢉⠟⠓
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢱⡖⠋⠁
⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⢺⠧⢄⣀⠀⠀⣀⣀
⠀⠀⣠⠃⢸⠀⠀⠈⠉⡽⠿⠯⡆
⠀⣰⠁⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉
⠀⠣⠀⠀⢸⢄⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⢇
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡌⠀⠈⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠁

where did u go xx

why it say 0.5 hours on runescape when we all know its 24k??

⠀⠀⠀⢀⠖⠒⠒⠒⢤⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⣀⢤⣼⣀⡠⠤⠤⠼⠤⡄⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠑⡤⠤⡒⠒⠒⡊⠙⡏⠀⢀ i have leprosy
⠀⠀⠀⠇⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⢀⠧⠟⠁
⠀⠀⠀⠸⣀⠀⠀⠈⢉⠟⠓
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢱⡖⠋⠁
⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⢺⠧⢄⣀⠀⠀⣀⣀
⠀⠀⣠⠃⢸⠀⠀⠈⠉⡽⠿⠯⡆
⠀⣰⠁⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉
⠀⠣⠀⠀⢸⢄⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⢇
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡌⠀⠈⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠁

⠀⠀⠀⢀⠖⠒⠒⠒⢤⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⣀⢤⣼⣀⡠⠤⠤⠼⠤⡄⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠑⡤⠤⡒⠒⠒⡊⠙⡏⠀⢀ beat hades yet son?
⠀⠀⠀⠇⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⢀⠧⠟⠁
⠀⠀⠀⠸⣀⠀⠀⠈⢉⠟⠓
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢱⡖⠋⠁
⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⢺⠧⢄⣀⠀⠀⣀⣀
⠀⠀⣠⠃⢸⠀⠀⠈⠉⡽⠿⠯⡆
⠀⣰⠁⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉
⠀⠣⠀⠀⢸⢄⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⢇
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡌⠀⠈⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠁