🔞 ADULT: Id/phuski/allcomments - High Quality

accept me please:)

I ain't dead yet.

hello mate, can you send me friend request? I have something for you

hi, can you send me friend request? i cant add you, idk why

hi, can you send me friend request? i cant add you, idk why

A farm in the country side had several turkeys, it was known as the
house of seven gobbles.
😵
[Brian and Stewie are catching a ride with Hispanic workers in Texas]
Brian: Hola! Um... me, me llamo es Brian. Ahh, uh, um... Let's see, uh, nosotros queremos ir con ustedes.
Migrant Worker: Hey, that was pretty good, except when you said, "Me llamo es Brian," you don't need the "es", just "me llamo Brian".
Brian: Oh! So you speak English!
Migrant Worker: No, just that first speech and this one explaining it.
Brian: You... you're kidding, right?
Migrant Worker: Que?
🤤
Jeez. No beer ... no opera dogs ...

-- Homer Simpson
Bart the Genius
🤧
Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken.
😯
Wormwood : Calvin, how about you?
Calvin : Hard to say ma'am. I think my cerebellum just fused.
😫

I like Tom. He doesn’t do a lot of work around here. He shows zero imitative. He’s not a team player. He’s never wanted to go that extra mile. Tom is exactly what I’m looking for in a government employee.

IF THERE IS ANYTHING ON THIS PLANET EARTH THAT PISSES ME OFF MORE THAN ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ANYTHING, ITS PAPER STRAWS WITH AN ACCORDIAN NECK. WHOS BRIGHT ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ IDEA WAS IT TO THINK THAT PAPER STRAWS CAN BEND?? ARE YOU ACTUALLY SO ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ STUPID THAT YOU THINK A THICK ASS STRAW MADE FROM PAPER WILL BEND LIKE A PLASTIC STRAW? THE ANSWER IS NO YOU ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ IDIOT, PAPER DOESNT BEND, PAPER FOLDS, AND IF YOU BEND THESE ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ TOO FAR? UH OH LOOKS LIKE IT RIPPED, BECAUSE ITS PAPER AND IT ISNT EXACTLY THE BEST MATERIAL IN THE WORLD TO DRINK LIQUIDS FROM.

hey. who do you think is smarter? Donald Trump or Me ? my guess is me because i am not stupid enough to have children.

i do not understand why a large portion of women on the popular dating app "Tinder" have in their Bio "Not your average girl" when they clearly are.

i do not understand why a large portion of women on the popular dating app "Tinder" have in their Bio "Not your average girl" when they clearly are.

even though i have never officially dated a woman, heed my advice.

if she owns a Staffy Dog do not date her. owners look like their pets and people who own Staffy Dogs are trailer trash.

In the wild, there is no healthcare. Healthcare is “Oh, I broke my leg!” A lion comes and eats you, you’re dead. Well, I’m not dead, I’m the lion, you’re dead!

In the wild, there is no healthcare. Healthcare is “Oh, I broke my leg!” A lion comes and eats you, you’re dead. Well, I’m not dead, I’m the lion, you’re dead!

I am not a security threat. And, my middle name is Kurt, not Fart.

A real man swallows his vomit when a lady is present.

I come from a long line of fighters. My maternal grandfather was the toughest guy I ever knew. World War Two veteran killed twenty men and spent the rest of the war in an Allied prison camp. My father battled blood pressure and obesity all his life. Different kind of fight.

follow me to the shelter. I’ve got enough food for 14 days. After that, i have a difficult conversation.

How would I describe myself? Three words: hardworking, alpha male, jackhammer, merciless, insatiable.

Greetings from Dwight Schrute.
When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered that I had adsorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No, I believe his tissue has made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby.

Greetings From Dwight Schrute !

i just wanted to tell you that fish meat is vegetable and have a great week.

gaming > everything

Hello, My name is Dwight Schrute and I'm the top salesman in Scranton Pennsylvania.