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I Love You Colonel Sanders, A Finger Lickin’ Good Dating Simulator is the greatest game to grace this planet. Words cannot describe how much I love this game. Every single day I play it, I can’t stop playing it. I stopped doing my homework and kept playing it because it saved me from depression in quarantine, I still visit this game to this day.

The art, the story, and Colonel Sanders himself, all of it is beautiful. Every time I sleep I constantly think about Colonel Sanders, he’s just really ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ HOT and I can’t seem to get over him. My friends constantly say “please miyo get off that dumbass game and hop on minecraft with us”. I say NO, because they don’t understand, the beauty, the work, the characters, the story about this game. It’s so damn underrated you HAVE to play this game, no matter what. It’s not a dumbass game, it’s a work of art that should be appreciated. I found this game out in 6th grade, ever since I’ve fallen in love with it, I’m in 8th now. I have grown up with this game, it’s always been making my day every single time I play it.

There was one time my parents saw me playing it, I got grounded for a week, and for that week’s time. I felt despair, sadness, I didn’t wanna eat, didn’t wanna go outside, didn’t wanna talk to friends, this game is my everything, and they don’t understand it. This work of art, just, words cannot describe.

I wanna say thank you, Psyop, and KFC for this masterpiece, this isn’t a joke by the way, I’ll constantly play this game every single day, until the day I die. Once again, thank you for this absolute joy of a game this is.


Edit: This year, I think this game should deserve the Outstanding Story-Rich Game Award. The story is really beautiful, sticking around with the hottest man alive, being around with your friends, your competitive rivals always trying to be better than you at cooking. It truly does deserve this award this year. I'm trying my best to not be biased about this, but truth is, this game really means a lot to me. You can believe me or not or assume this is a joke or not, but this game left a big impact on me. It CHANGED me as a person. I used to be such a scumbag kid who used to be annoying, mean, snarky, and just so much negative stuff about me. Ever since I was shown this game by a friend of mine. I've since then changed, it taught me the values of friendship and you shouldn't take anything for granted. Everything is extremely precious. Whenever I get stressed out doing my work and preparing for my high school life eventually, I just start playing this game. I repeat the story because it's that good, I repeat some scenes and chapters, or I just stare at the menu and listen to the music for some time before doing my work. I don't have as much free time as I used to when I was younger, but this game will forever live in my heart. It has set the mindset for me of to be nice to everybody, and have everyone be happy. It's a really great thing you should try though. Anyways, I'll probably comeback to this review every now and then, and constantly remind people that this is a great game. Try it, it'll change you and make you have an extremely positive impact in your life.
(11/23/22)

Edit 2: This year, I think this game should receive the Labor of Love Award. Now I won't go much into detail like how I did with my previous one however, I'll make really compelling points so that you the reader, could perhaps understand where I'm coming from with this. Where you've stumbled upon this half-sarcastic review, or deliberately seeked it out for amusement. I can reassure you that I am really, the biggest fan of I Love You Colonel Sanders! A Finger Lickin' Good Dating Simulator. No matter how long it takes or no matter how long they'll leave me (not us because you're not devoted to the life of Colonel Sanders as much as I am.) in the dark. I will constantly, day after day, week after week, month after month, year upon YEARS. I will put hours into this game to show off my unconditional love and support for this game. I will constantly reiterate, time after time again that this is the best game to ever grace our time, ever. I won't say what the reasons are because that'd be already too much and I want to save you all some time but, I need you all to realize how much of a gem this game really is. So go back, to when I first discovered this treasure, and went into in-depth detail about how amazing it is and I only breathe for the sole purpose of Colonel Sanders. Go back, out and exit off my review, and play the game. You will be changed forever and you will not regret it at all.

I got a little too sidetracked, the game should earn this award because I am the one that constantly keeps it alive (if you think about it long enough).

Thank you for reading.

(11/26/23)

Final Edit: Once more, same ♥♥♥♥ different toilet, I'm going to repeat myself for the third time in a row for this year. I certainly believe that I Love You Colonel Sanders! A Finger Lickin' Good Dating Simulator deserves the Labor of Love Award. I'll tell you what this year, it's been extremely different for me, my life, and my life for this game. I still dedicate my hours and life playing this game for god knows how long but I know for a fact that I'll get my future kids to play this game because of my love for the game. I'll like have a bucket of chicken to my side and a bunch of crumbs on my fat belly and I'm constantly shouting at them to repeat the story, over, and over, and over again because this game teaches you not only good morals, but the power of friendship. As much as I enjoyed the game when I was younger, the fire, the me, my soul, my being, it's slowly dying. It's like a candle on its final breaths. However, despite all the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ that life throws at me, I still end up playing this game because of how comforting it is.

I have a friend named RedSunSheriff (aka Badger[underscore]Speaker on ROBLOX) alongside some people within a server called Atavista or Anomalies and they all crowd around me in vc about my hours I spend on this game. Badger constantly trying to scold me so that I can be a better 'man', on about some "bro kid get the ♥♥♥♥ off this game and get get to gold on valorant so i can queue with you already". Colonel Sanders would go into my ear, and whisper to me, "♥♥♥♥ no ♥♥♥♥♥, ♥♥♥♥, no." Wisest words I've heard ever and it's like he's always there for me, unlike some ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ like Badger.

I tried putting Bobert (aka. Molitor on ROBLOX) onto this magnificent game that I happened to constantly replay over and over again, he looks at me straight in the eye, bloodshot ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ eyes like he's going to kill me, and he says, "kid this ♥♥♥♥ is some coal, nvz solos colonel sanders". Colonel Sanders appears out of thin air and holds my shoulder and says, "Bobert is a jackass, don't listen to him." I teared up, not because of what Bobert said to me, but how factual of a statement that Colonel Sanders just said.

God forbid a boy named Rohan (aka. DirtStains on ROBLOX) to play some peak that I recommended. I mentioned one word or even go around his presence, he'll start screaming and making incoherent monkey noises and ramble about "PLAY WITH MODERN CONTROLS IN ANY FIGHTING GAME YOU PLAY, AS IF YOU'RE GOING TO PLAY ANY FIGHTING GAME EVER MIYO BECAUSE YOU'RE LIKE IN THE CUUK CHAIR." A couple of tears roll off both of my eyes, until Colonel Sanders appears on my right. He's wiping the tears off my face and he says "Rohan is a filipino, it doesn't matter about what he says." I embrace his warmth by giving him a hug, he's right. Rohan is a dirty filipino.

Finally, a man that everybody knows, a that runs a drug cartel within Argentina, Jordan (aka. JordanMcThunderQueef). I tried to speak hebrew because he's actually a iranian-korean hybrid that was raised off the coast of Zambia. There's a secret facility he was conceived in, as an experiment, a failed one at that. A crooked nose- Wait, I've hit my limit. HELP!

(12/2/24)