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this guy hits his shots.

I get back to my apartment filled to the brim with peptides, hyaluronic acid, and a week’s worth of Metamucil. I call my pediatrician. I’m 30 years old, so she doesn’t let me come visit her at the office anymore but sometimes she takes my calls. I tell her about my constipation and the Lip Plumper I overapplied and the love of my life who has three other girlfriends, and she tells me to listen to her. “Smoke a cigarette, it’ll make you go to the bathroom,” she says. “That lip stuff has nothing to do with it, but it probably won’t give you new lips, either. And Annie? Now, I’m not the right kind of doctor for this, but you cannot love someone who will not love you back.”

noob

+rep CHAMP