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“My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well documented, are various other parts of my body.”

"She does have a very nice figure... If [Ivanka] weren't my daughter, perhaps I'd be dating her."
"I would never buy Ivana any decent jewels or pictures. Why give her negotiable assets?"

"I think Viagra is wonderful if you need it, if you have medical issues, if you've had surgery. I've just never needed it. Frankly, I wouldn't mind if there were an anti-Viagra, something with the opposite effect. I'm not bragging. I'm just lucky. I don't need it."

"Sorry losers and haters, but my IQ is one of the highest - and you all know it! Please don't feel so stupid or insecure, it's not your fault."

"While @BetteMidler is an extremely unattractive woman, I refuse to say that because I always insist on being politically correct."

"I think the big problem this country has is being politically correct. I've been challenged by so many people and I don't, frankly, have time for total political correctness."