If you bought the Campus Radio pack and are expecting something similar, this isn't that.

Campus Radio had these nice little send-ups of bands like Nirvana, The Killers, and Paramore. And they were even pretty good for the most part. Especially "Anywhere Else."

So I bought this expecting some send ups of bands like Blink-182, Fall Out Boy, Four Year Strong etc. What I got was generic city-builder music. It was not great. I wanted chunky power chords, histrionic singing about being dumped, long-ass titles, catchy choruses, and maybe even a little screamo. Instead, I get something that has guitars, yes, but a lot less energy than those lo-fi versions of songs that Pure Noise puts out. And no lyrics.

I suppose the DJ is decent, but who's really buying this DLC for the DJ?

Colossal, I love your game, my guys, but you failed the prompt.

Ok. I haven't played the campaign yet. But I've put a lot of hours into the multiplayer. Good news: the multiplayer is fun. Bad news: It's really buggy. It just crashes at random. Hell, they even turned off a feature they put in a lot of promotional content because it was causing crashes. If it gets better and I remember, I'll change my review. But until then, thumbs down. Don't pay $70 for this.

I preordered this game back when it first came out and remembered it being bad. It's been what, seven, eight years? It couldn't be [bold]that[/bold] bad, could it? It had to be pre-order regret, right?

It wasn't as bad as I remembered it. It was worse.

In my brief replay, I encountered one of the most painful experiences I've ever had. It starts with the cardboard cutout caricatures of soldiers being gruff. Like, painful levels of soldier stereotype. Also, it might have been better if they had been cardboard, because these ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ homunculi rendered in "glorious" 1080p look like something the 3D artists of Mass Effect: Andromeda look at to console themselves and move even worse. Seriously, a PS1 developer would be wondering why the animations are so bad.

This is all the opening cut scene. It gets worse. Despite the deliberate darkness, the first thing that struck me was the awful, awful textures on my gun. As I had played it previously back in 2013, I had managed to unlock a gun with a skull on the carry handle. That skull was stretched the ♥♥♥♥ out like it was a Jesus on a Kanye shirt. That was the standout, but all the visuals are just a constant assault of ugly, with the small mercy that you can barely see anything in the first level.

And finally, we come to the aliens. They are dumb, first off. They will ignore your equally stupid AI squadmates and beeline right towards you. The only thing that prevents you from cutting them down is the bad lighting and how utterly ridiculously bullet spongey they are. They also get trapped on the scenery. Also, when they charge, they have an embarrassing tendency to get trapped on the scenery.

And, like everything else in the damn game, they're horrendously ugly. It's an Alien game, right? So maybe make your xenomorph character models reasonably high poly. Don't take some off-brand xeno model you find on the Unity storefront and decrease the poly count and call it a day. But I am neither a game designer, financial genius, stage magician or connoisseur of magic squirt porn, so I might be wrong about this.

I think I lasted ten to twenty minutes, mouth agape in horror at what I was experiencing. I then rage quit, but it was less rage and more despair, horror and revulsion. I was going to uninstall it, but then, malevolently, it started playing again. Three times I tried to quit. Three times it started again. Finally, I was able to preemptively shut it down before it could begin tormenting me again and was able to uninstall it.

I don't know who's fault this abomination is. I do know that the credits list four developers and that there are a series of ongoing lawsuits. What I do know that right now, January 27th, 2021, this game is being sold on this storefront for $29.99. It is not worth $29.99. It is not worth it if you were paid $2999. Avoid this game.

As a single-player person, for me, right now, it is a gun-dress up toy. It's the best at this I've ever played, don't get me wrong. But I don't think that very many other people are going to be willing to spend $20 on a game just because they can choose which bit of picatinny rail to put their scope on.

Most people are going to ask "what about the actual GAME?" After I finish sighing internally at how stupid the question is, I'll have to admit that you'll either have to venture into multiplayer (which I haven't but seems hyper-team focused) or Terrorist Hunt, plus a few "training" areas that let you play around with the various systems in the game. If you've played the mode of the same name in Rainbow Six, then you know what this mode is like. As to whether it leans towards the more arcade-y ones or the older, more realistic ones, you should know that it usually takes only a single hit for your character to fall down and the screen to go red. Also, this may be because I'm a complete scrub, but if you play in the open areas, the AI *will* see you first (note: I play on the easiest difficulty) and the only thing that will save you is hoping you can quickly move into cover. I tend to play the airplane or container map because on the more open maps, I cannot see the AI before they see me (and I like close-quarters fights in general.) The problem with that, is that on the easiest difficulties, there are times when you'll notice their occaisionally attrocious accuracty, at least on the easiest difficulties.

Still, when I boot it up, I have fun. If there are any people who want to play dress-up with guns and you don't have VR, this is probably worth a look.

I'm extremely conflicted about this game.

On the one hand, I love what the devs were trying to do here. Basically, for those of you who know about the game FEAR, this is that but with the horror elements replaced by rouguelite elements... and without as much of a budget. Which is probably the root of every problem I have with it. It is very simplistic, and since it is all gameplay, I think you can play it for as little as I have (3.3 hours, last I checked) and come away with a pretty good understanding. However, that understanding doesn't mean you've wrung all the fun out of it.

I have to admit, I love the conceit. You are slow-mo cop, kicking down doors. Don't question the ethics/legality of the begginning speech from the British lady, just shoot some dudes wearing Confederate flag masks. That's really all the plot. Instead play as one of four extremely squishy cops, shoot your way through a maze of locked doors, exploding barrels, and mobsters.

And when I say extremely squishy, you are extremely squishy. There is this very tense sense that you never have enough health and any mistake could ruin the next few rooms or the next mission. Even though all levels are procedurally generated, I think all my (many) deaths have been my fault. Maybe I was too greedy, maybe my aim is too potato-y. The rooms had medkits to pick up, I just got shot too much.

Wait, I forgot about the stair rooms. The stair rooms can go ♥♥♥♥ themselves. Especially since the enemies can shoot through the railings but I can't.

And now, the bad. The first thing might seem petty, but this is my review. There is no jump button. I admit, there's little use for it in this game except to jump over low railings to move down the stairs. There are a plethora of times where I thought "I really wish I had the ability to jump" and very few times I used the slide kick.

Next up is the tutorial mission. Ok, I get that its the same every time. But before you can start the FTL-like campaign, you MUST either choose to skip the tutorial or do it over again. A little weird, but ok. Where it gets super annoying is that by doing the tutorial, you get points to buy weapons and gear (four to six, depending on how well you do) or skip it and start with... zero. Nothing. Nada. And if you have nothing but the basic kit, you'll die pretty quickly.

Also, you know the saying "never show a clip from a better movie in yours?" Well, maybe don't rip off mechanics from better games. Because if they didn't have that little wire map thing that showed you moving slowly to the boss, I wouldn't be comparing this game to FTL right about now. You see, FTL's missions do repeat, but they don't feel repetitive. They also give you context for what you're doing and some are special because they give you toys to play with next run. Each mission in this game is just a checklist that you check off by murdering people and pressing E to do the thing.

Still, despite its flaws, and despite the fact that I'm ultimately not going to press the thumbs up button (Steam, give us a third option please) I really want this game and developer to do well. I think that if they spend a little more time on the sequel, they might have something.

During the two times this game has had a free-to-play weekend, I have not been able to play it. Why? Because this game is literally unplayable. The resolution, when it starts up, averages 300x200 and there is no way to get it to something sane, whether you attempt to simply change it in the options menu or if you go to the .ini file and change the resolution that way. No matter what you do, Killing Floor 2 will be a game designed for 1920x1080 playing at 300x200.

Seriously, I have Googled the ♥♥♥♥ out of this problem. If you are one of the few people who are afflicted with this bug, my guess is that you are just screwed because I have not found a single answer to this problem. I would love to play this game as it looks like fun when it works.

While the DLC can seem a little much at times, this, even at base level, is extremely fun to play with friends. Also, I give props to Overkill for all the free content updates it has given the players over time. Just by joining the Payday 2 Community, a new player can earn two free melee weapons, three free secondary weapons (one of them actually exceedingly powerful,) and a bunch of free masks. The Overkill team has also added several new heists for free as well since release and various tweaks and changes to keep old players coming back for more and to give new players an easier time. Add in the fact that more free content is coming (new heist, new playable character, new primary) and some of the best co-op gameplay I've experienced in years, and this is one of the best multiplayer games you can get.

Speaking of the gameplay, it really very fun. The majority of the heists are fun and challenging, with the standard bank heists being a nice way for noobs to get their feet wet. The plans are usually simple (hold f to set up a drill, pick up loot, etc.) but when the cops come, they will do everything in their power to stop you. That's where things get interesting. Special cops are always enough to seriously change the tide of a heist, SO ALWAYS STICK TOGEHTER! SERIOUSLY! Cloakers can down a player instantly, tasers cause a player to waste ammo, then go down, sheilds have to be flanked or killed with explosives, and bulldozers can soak up damage and give it all back tenfold if they get close enough. Alternatively on some heists, you can do it stealthily, which, when done correctly, feels awesome.

While all that is awesome, the game does have problems. There is almost $50 worth of DLC to buy, and some of it feels a little too essential, if you know what I mean. Network problems are not as uncommon as they should be, and hosts have been known to randomly kick players. Also, the heist selection screen can be extremely annoying.

That being said, the pros do make up for it. Get it. You won't be dissapointed.

This actually is a really great value. Not only does it have the first game, but it also has both expansions as well. Weird, as they don't really advertise it that well.

Storywise, I would say that the original and Perseus Mandate are the best. They have a good mystery, high stakes, but no characters you can really get invested in. Armacham Corporation tried to make military clones, their psycic (and psycotic) leader went rogue and now you have to clean up the mess. Then it turns out the leader, Paxton Fettel, is looking for something. Then he finds it, and HOLY CRAP WHAT THE F*** IS THAT AND WHY IS IT EATING MY SOUL?

If I said anything more, that would be spoiling it.

Backing up the story are the scares and the gunplay. The gunplay is, at its core, a very good tactical shooter, with bullet time stapled on. The reloads are way too fast in my opinion, but the marital arts moves and ability to watch grenades explode when they hit enemies in slow motion more than makes up for it. The weapons start off standard. Pistols. SMGs. Shotguns. Assault rifles. Oh! Dual pistols! Now I can pretend to be the hero in a John Woo film! Then, at around the second or third level, you find my personal favorite: The Penetrator. It is a weapon that staples enemies to walls. However, if that doesn't interest you, there's the 15-round rocket launcher that fires in 3-round bursts. Or the MP-50 repeating cannon. Or a laser that literally strips the flesch from an enemy's bones. The expansions have even more weapons that can get even more creative.

After that, you might have to ask "If it has all those weapons, how can it be scary? Scripted jump scares?" Well, there are some of those, and they are actually kind of good because they're combined with the right atmosphere. However, they don't just rely on those. Some of the enemies are actually pretty frightening, like these ghosts that drag you into hell and eat you alive. Then there are the sequences where the walls fly away to reveal new walls. Then monsters are everywhere. Then, you're falling into darkness. When you wake up, the villian has you locked in solitary. Or there's the scene that makes you afraid of ladders for all time. Even if you aren some kind of unscareable badass, you'll have to admit at the end that they did try.

There is some stuff that's kind of bad about the game. The art direction was horrible. I mean, look at the screen shots! Even when it first came out, I was never impressed by the graphics. Also, as its so old, sometimes you need to give it some help to get it running. However, it is all definitely worth it.

Before you buy this game based soley on my recomendation, you should realize that, while it still has its scares, it is not really a horror game anymore. It also has lost much of what made it a great shooter. Why am I recomending it then?

Simple: the co-op is amazing. Most of those 7.5 hours on record? It was with a friend. It was also (unintentionally) hilarious. It's just a by-product of having two college students play through a game that wants you to take it seriously so much. I also have to admit, having Paxton Fettel as a playable character is a nice touch. Combine his ability to posess people with the Pointman's slo-mo powers, and there are some neat teamwork dynamics at play. If you see this game at a price where you can afford to buy it for yourself AND give it to a friend (especially to a funny one,) do so.

However, if you want balls-to-the-wall mind****s, creepy atmosphere, and a gun that can staple people to walls, buy the other two.

Seriously, though, this gun doesn't have The Penetrator? The one weapon that would make Co-op even more hilarious?