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"The moment I understood the weakness of my flesh, it disgusted me."

Talking mudcrab merchant: "Whaddaya think? Sheesh. I'm a mudcarb... crab. Shure. A mudcrab. Thas me. Pretty sure. I LOOK like a mudcrab, right? Mush be. Thish IS me talking, right? So? I mush be... A talking mudcrab. And I sells stuff, right? So? I mush be a talking mudcrab merchant. Stands to reason, don't it?"

Talking mudcrab merchant: "'How dry I am... how dry I am... nobody knows... how dry I am....' SHAY! Hi. There. Lesh make a deal. I got... stuff. Lots. Here. See?"

Talking mudcrab merchant: "Sure. Thash what I said? Did I stutter or shomethin? Talking. Mudcrab. Merchant. Read my lips. Ehr. Mouthparts? Read my mouthparts? Shomethin ain't right. But never mind. Jush one-a life's little myshteries. So. You gonna buy shomethin? Or sit here jawin' all day."


"They will be my mates. These blokes’ll give themselves ta me. Like Vegemite I will mold them and in the furnace of Alice Springs forge them. They will be built like a brick ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. In great singlets shall I clad them and with the mightiest ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ they will be armed. They will be untouched by hangovers and thots, no ♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥ will blight them. They will have such beer, barbies and snags that no ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ can best them in being a legend. They are my bulwark against ♥♥♥♥♥. They are the defenders of good times. They are my Space Marines, and they shall know no cheap beer."


"What the feth did you just fething say about me, you Talos worshipping cur? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Thalmor, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on the Blades, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in Imga warfare and I’m the top Justiciar in the entire Aldmeri Dominion. You are nothing to me but just another heretic. I will wipe you the feth out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on Nirn, mark my fething words. You think you can get away with cursing me and my pals from Skyrim? Think again, fetcher. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across Tamriel and your location is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, heretic. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fething dead, Nord. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my superior Aldmeri hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the glorious Aldmeri Dominion and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your inferior species off the face of Tamriel, you little ♥♥♥♥. If only you could have known what holy retribution your little “clever” curse was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fething inferior tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you gods dammned cur. I will ♥♥♥♥ glorious Aldmeri fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fething dead heretic!"

"Tehre is noh time to beh lohst!

Batul Brothas!

Spehss Mahrens, todeh the enemeh is at oua doar! We know oua duteh and we will do eet. We fight for our honor as Blod Rehvens, as SPESS MAHRENS, and we fight in the nehme of the Empra!

And if we die this deh we die in gloareh, we die heroes' deffs, but we shall not die, no! It is the enemeh who will tehste deff and defeat!

As you know! Moast of oua battle brothars are shtehtioned in SPEHSS, Pruhpeared to deep strike! Oua perimeter has been pruhpeared in the even dat oua enehmies should be so bald and so foolish. We have plehced numerous beacons, allowing for muhltiple, simuln-tehneous and devashtehting defensive deep strikes

The Codecks astartees nehmes this maneuvah Steel Rehn. We will descend upon the foe, we will ovawhelm them - we will leave none alive! Meanwhile oua ground fawses will ensue the full defense of oua headkwaters

We are the spehss mahrens! WE ARE THE EMPRA'S FUREH!"