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I'm so proud of how you turned out in your adolescence, particularly considering your abusive relationship with your step-father. The hours you spent telling me about the way he treated you sexually have taught me one thing, It's at the darkest moments in our lives that we must turn to the people we trust the most for those emotional, mental, physical and sexual experiences which you and I shared together. I need to tell you something very important. Listen carefully. There are aliens in my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ so I need you to open the Minesweeper program and flag every square until you make a loss image. Now screenshot this and save it has galaticsexualassualtreport.png and save it to your C drive. The next step is to save it onto your USB then go to your local library and print the image in colour. After that go to Australia Post and whisper to the whoever serves you at the counter "God is dead, anime girls aren't real and my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ is in danger.".

They should call the manager who will then let you into the office. You will notice the staff members gathering around in a circle, do not be alarmed, they will ask for the galacticesexualassualtreport.png that you printed and start a ritual where they start licking the lines of the loss image to summon the Oshirigami. The Oshirigami will unload it's fat thick juicy cheeks filled with holy stomach acid and proceed to drown everyone in the room with it. This will teleport you into the 7th dimension of my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ where you and the rest of the staff must defeat the alien. Once the alien has been the Oshirigam will bless you with One Thousand Years of Fat Booty Waifus. We don't have enough time, so you better start moving. Life out here, on the internet, can be tough and lonesome, full of people ready to shoot you down. They can say things about your mom. They can say things about your dad. And you can let them get to you.

Or, you can pick yourself up, be the stronger person and ignore them. Move on with your life and do great things - wipe away the tears beautiful. The other option (and also my preferred method) is to hunt this mother ♥♥♥♥♥♥ down. Find where they live. Break into their house/tent in the dead of night. ♥♥♥♥ them on the head with a giant shoehorn. Whilst they're away with the fairies, tie them up so they are lying down and ♥♥♥♥ on their chest. When they wake up, you'll be ready wearing a seagull mask, fully naked. Slap your ♥♥♥♥ off the massive pile of ♥♥♥♥ whilst attempting to summon Satan, sprinkle whatever cereal they had in the house all over the mess (porridge oats also work well) then leave.

Revenge plan complete. Anyway so I'm cooking up some ramen and I walk away for the moment and when I come back a different burner is on along with the burner I turned on. I had a glass pan sitting on the stove so it was getting heated up. I remove the pan and then it explodes. I'm not kidding there's ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ glass everywhere. I have to go buy a broom. I'm sure the heat made the glass expand and explode but the problem is, I didn't turn on that burner. I only turned in one burner for my ramen.

Security Guy? Dude, MONKEY ON THE CAR!!! its jake...

im polish too, +rep