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Hey Dude, You know on the way over here I tried to think of something to say, some righteous wisdom that would help you to feel totally tubular again; get you back to your old self. But in the end, I guess things don't really work like that. As much as I wish this was just boogey boarding in shallow end, it's not. Love is a strange thing dude. I mean we're all primates, right? Our social bonds can be mega gnarly to the max, and I am so incredibly sorry that you have to deal with bogusness at this level. I want you to know, I'm here for you, whatever you need. I am your main monkey, I am the ape to get you through this scrape. And through is the way to go, homeslice, through is the way to go. You know we have this tendency to ignore wackness until it festers and eats us alive. Sometimes we just try to go around it, but let me tell you something dude, go through it. Process it, and break it down and examine it. It's like hopping on rambi and busting into a bonus level. It's the only way to rebuild yourself in a healthy way. It took me long to learn that after my divorce, I mean look I'm not trying to sound like a shrink or a know it all, im honestly I'm just here to be your home boy. But if you're not ready to rap about this sec, thats chill. But know that I got your back. You're in an extremely heinous and uncool situation. I love you and I want you to live your best life possible. You know, that my people have this parable about divorce. "Whoa dudes, my name is Funky Kong. My bodacious jumbo barrel can take you to any point on the island. Most unfortunately, it can only send you to a place that youve already been to, which is a complete and total bummer let me tell you. Yo gorrillas, go see old man cranky, he can help you out. You dudes need lives or something, jungle hijinks is the place for that. If you guys see kandy on your way out, tell her, ill give her surfing lessons any time. Yeah crucial kongs, if you feel the need for speed, jump in and like jet, looking good kongs, buckel up and blast off, youre outta here. Looking good dudes, im funky the main monkey, and my new funkys flights can take you anywhere on crocodile isle, provided youve already checked it out of course, cruise on over to the barrel man, and ride the skies, come jump into my jet and jive glive, go get that k rool, he just aint cool."