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To cure Aids and other diseases acquired from sheep shagging use the following remedy:

Take a goat skin drum lined with parasites with leeches in the base and beat it thrice on the first waxing crescent moon of the harvest. This must be done whilst drinking the juice from a fresh maggot to allow the voodoo to travel through the blood systems. On the third Waxing Gibbous moon of rimilce-mona ('month of Three milkings') the drum must be beat for 12.39 cattle herdings and your diseases witll be cured.