💎 PREMIUM: Profiles/ - Uncensored 2025

So there I was, watching Seinfeld whilst reading the complete works of Shakespeare. I was completing King Lear for the 42nd time and watching George Costanza make a fool of himself once again when it came to me. I too am Costanza. A fool in a garish gown. But instead of wallowing in my self pity or doing anything about it, I decided to take the Costanzapill. The Costanza (literally "standing in two places", Italian origin) pill is a revolutionary neo-absurdist philosophy for postmodern living that allows the 21st century intellectual to reconcile his top-shelf tastes, with his barrel-scraping existence, and love of plebeian culture. The "George" self is the buffoon, the prole, the low status serf with bad genetics, stocky build, and micropenis in the pool. The "Art" self is the patrician, the elite that basks in the ignorance and suffering of the "George" self. His dress is clean, streamlined, and he buttons the right button always. George Costanza is only ever George Costanza only when he amalmagates the two into an authenticated being. Here now can George really come to terms about his life being like a show about nothing. Since I've taken the Costanzapill, I've learned to take my eclair and throw it into the garbage can too. I've burned my books, buried my refrigerator, and live off of Arby's, Twix, Bosco, mangos and cold shrimp. I spend my days watching documentaries about French expressionism and Breakfast at Tiffany's, and playing Frogger until I pass out.