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Seoul-t'ukpyolsi, Korea, Republic of



There are hurricanes. There are volcanoes. And then thereās Eren playing Counter-Strike 2 ā a natural disaster with Wi-Fi. He loads in calm, serene even, like a monk before enlightenment. Thirty seconds later? The keyboard is crying, the mouse is airborne, and Erenās scream registers on the Richter scale. Every missed shot detonates like a small emotional nuke. Every flashbang is a personal vendetta. His teammates? Traitors. His ping? A conspiracy. His soul? Long gone.
He doesnāt rage-quit ā he rage-respawns. The man uninstalls the game mid-sentence, reinstalls it mid-breath, and queues again like a warrior addicted to his own suffering. Steam should list him as a natural hazard. Watching him play is less gaming and more exorcism ā keys flying, headset dangling, the room filled with a storm of censored self-invented swear words that could melt steel.
Eren doesnāt play CS2. He survives it.
Eren doesnāt just play CS2 ā he combusts in it. The lobby hasnāt even loaded before heās muttering dark prophecies about ātrash teammatesā and ābroken hitboxes.ā One missed headshot and heās conducting an orchestra of rage: keyboard smashing, mouse thudding, mic peaking at decibel levels illegal in 14 countries. The man treats every flashbang like a personal betrayal. When a teammate whiffs, Eren audibly ascends into a new plane of fury ā somewhere between divine wrath and emotional collapse. And yet, every time he declares, āIām uninstalling this garbage,ā heās back in queue five minutes later, like a moth drawn to the worldās angriest flame. Watching him play isnāt gaming; itās a live-action soap opera written by Satan and sponsored by Bepis.
Eren doesnāt play Counter-Strike 2 ā he wages war against it. Each round begins with hope and ends with a profanity so creative it could summon demons. His mouse has seen more slams than a WWE wrestler, and his desk trembles in existential fear. When he misses a shot, itās ālag.ā When he dies, itās āteammates.ā When he wins? Divine skill, obviously. The neighbors have learned the sound of defeat through his guttural screams, and even his GPU prays for mercy. At one point, after being flashbanged by his own team, he whispered, āIām fine,ā in a tone that made everyone realize he was absolutely not fine. Watching Eren play CS2 is like watching a Shakespearean tragedy ā if Shakespeare had rage-quit halfway through.