>shooting evil spessmen
pretty good

>90s fps level design including PLATFORMING
I want to die

probably the best way to play, hope nightdive makes jedi knight playable at some point

So I've finished this twice now. My second playthrough took me from a "maybe" to a "definitely recommend". there's a lot of things they could work on still (for the love of Christ make the cargo lift bigger and put a recycler in Security to start) but as is this is a solid 8/10. Be forewarned that if you don't want to feel like a rat in a maze from the design philosophy of the 90s--which is to say confusing, unhelpful, operating on the dream logic of some deranged bedwetter who wanted revenge on society at large--and then washed in color filters so everything looks the same because go ♥♥♥♥ yourself, System Shock may not be for you; but if you want to be a hackerman and fight the robot lady you won't be disappointed

It's like Half Life 2 but actually good

I mean it could use some more sliders

okay cool it has the stupid gamertag ♥♥♥♥ from MCC

get aids and die 343

So I was pretty wary coming into this. Generally games people hype as being deep tend to be underwhelming and hard to enjoy. Most of them are lazy, and yell at you that you're the lowest form of scum for wanting to play a game, and I'm not really into ♥♥♥♥-and-Ball Torture even if you might be. I saw some footage from Lisa that made me laugh, and it was on sale so I said "♥♥♥♥ it, worth a shot." Then I left it sitting in my library for like a year, because I'm a lazy ♥♥♥♥. Then I started streaming, and talking to a friend convinced me to play the trilogy, which is what I'm reviewing.




Gameplay

Barely Existent. A Yume Nikki clone where you look for random items to use in irrational ways, spread out in a way that would require a guide for anyone not possessed by moon devils to comprehend. Do yourself a favor and just watch a playthrough and YouTube instead, like I should have.

Story

The proper way to refer to the storytelling is "minimalistic". The correct way would be to say it's incomprehensible dream logic horse feces, meant to attract the game theory crowd. The story it's allegedly telling is about a girl named LISA who wants to escape her abusive father, Jeffrey "The Dude" Lebowski and his anthropomorphic penis Tricky Rick. Spoilers: You actually can't win even if you figure out all the harebrained puzzles, it tells you you can never escape, and the sequels reveal Lisa eventually hangs herself anyway. There's a long rope ladder leading to a middle finger that sums up the game. Again, skip it

Presentation

This one has graphics designed to give you a headache. It succeeds, I feel.

Soundtrack

Every song here is forgettable except the ones reused in the sequels.

SUMMARY

Watch a playthrough, or don't. Despite Lisa being the center of... LISA, this game tells you ♥♥♥♥ all anyway, and is as enjoyable as sex with a cheesegrater. Play the good ones instead.



Gameplay

A comprehensive RPG, with quasi-platforming and minor racing mechanics. Recruit up to 30 various weirdos, of which 12 are useful and the rest are cannon fodder. Don't you dare give up my boy Terry Hintz . There is a very deep, very satisfying combat system complete with dial-a-combos, over a dozen statuses, buffs, debuffs, synchronicity and even permadeath Losing an arm severely affects the MC's dial-a-combos, which you'll hate . A certain mechanic called withdrawal, while very relevent to the story, is a big ol pain in the taint once you learn how many characters are gimped by it Go to Hell Tiger Man you lying sack of ♥♥♥♥ . It's a fleshed out Paper Mario I've wanted since I dunked on Tubba Blubba at age 10. If I had a real major complaint, it's that you jump to your death when you walk into most cliffs but some have secrets at the bottom .

Story

Minimalist, but correctly. The game never imposes itself, but still gives you enough hook to want to find out for yourself. You play as Fist of the North Star, the son of Lebowski and brother of Lisa, who wasn't mentioned at all in the First. Fist is a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ junkie drunk who adopts the final little girl on Earth maybe and hides her in his tent so she isn't diddled. Then the game happens and Fist must beat the ♥♥♥♥ out of the entire post-apocalypse to rescue his daughter. Other characters include Bane from Batman as Raoh from Fist, and also Buzzo, who's a butthole. There is a healthy amount of comedy to make the overall very bleak tone bearable, assuming you find dead babies funny, and if you don't, I hope your baby dies. As the game goes on you realize Fist might actually be a piece of ♥♥♥♥ like Lebowski before him, but these are hidden behind comedy. For example, the scene where you murder a whole construction site is played for laughs, until you realize that actually you did in fact murder a bunch of construction workers. Emphasis on "realize" because the game never rubs your nose in it like it's contemporaries would. This is ultimately a story about a man rescuing his daughter even when it's the wrong thing to do . Your choices matter, except they actually matter, and don't just make Kenny pissed off at you for a few cutscenes. You will feel your decisions, which few games can say.

Presentation

It looks like a retro pixel game, specifically Earthbound. most everything is brown, the combat backgrounds are trippy, and the menus are all plain. It's nothing to write home about, but it does it's job. What would be nice is some WIDESCREEN SUPPORT AUSTIN, ACKNOWLEDGE THIS REVIEW LIKE 7 YEARS AFTER THE GAME CAME OUT AND INCLUDE WIDESCREEN, AUSTIN or don't, I'm sure you're busy, I love you either way No ♥♥♥♥ Unless You're into that

Soundtrack

This soundtrack is amazing but it should be awful. This was made in fruity loops, which I'm not familiar with but clearly sucks. Somehow Widdly 2 Diddly makes it work, which I can't explain, you'd just have to listen

SUMMARY

LISA the Painful is an amazing experience that sticks with you long after it ends, and touched me emotionally in a way most media cannot. I give it A Middle Finger out of a ludicrously long climb. Buy it. Play it. Be changed by it. Highly Recommended.



Gameplay

Similar to the Painful, with a few differences. You now control Sword Girl, Fist of the North Star's buddy, who uses TP instead of SP for special attacks. TP is kinda ♥♥♥♥♥♥, but you get used to it. Instead of a bicycle, you run, and the default command for run on a gamepad is the SELECT button, because AUSTIN didn't bother to test that I still love you though and you can do Assassins Creed stealth kills on approximately 4 enemies, which probably could've been left out. A lot of people say it's 5 hours long, but I completed it in about 3 1/2 including reloading before Big Lincoln for another epilogue and I did just about everything. You actually need Joy to beat this one I'm pretty sure. Don't @ me with Joyless runs,

Story

As Sword Girl, stab the 9 6 Regional Managers of Oshawa to rule the world. Receive Aid from Bane, until he figures out you're an irredeemable murderhobo . Take ludicrous amounts of drugs, even if you went without in Painful because that ♥♥♥♥ ain't gonna cut it in Joyful. Come to terms with your father after the game hits too close to home Kill the Trumpet Guy, he ruined everything Weekend at Berny's, Lisa tore everyone apart Most of the Story is meh up until the ending, which is emotionally devastating for anyone who either has or is a dad I'm not unmanly for crying for 5 hours after the ending, YOU'RE unmanly for not doing that

Presentation

Mostly generic. Improved somewhat, especially during bosses, there's a lot more variety but still not really a major plus

Soundtrack

W2D works his black magic again. He's My Dad in particular should not work and yet it does

SUMMARY

Get it on sale, definitely a DLC as opposed to a sequel, but if you like Painful it's a must


Lisa is not for everyone. Everyone should at least give it a try. This, after just one playthrough, has become one of my all-time favorites. I give it the biggest score, and would carry Austin's child if I had the proper organs. Just don't start with First, nearly turned me off altogether.

>buy game
>friend also bought the game
>friend leaves review, can't get in because he forgot his password
>assume it's a technical glitch and boot it up
>running the opening pretty good on my laptop
>"link your Xbox Live Account"
>why do I need Xbox Live to play on Steam
>spend an hour finding the old Comcast email account attached to my gamertag
>try it
>have to go to Microsoft's website to confirm address
>Microsoft redirects me to ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Comcast
>Comcast deleted my account years ago
>I just wanted to play Halo
Don't buy it. Don't pirate it. This might be specific to me, but the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ game not working is not.There is no good reason this should even be an issue, but Microsoft does this ♥♥♥♥ all the time and shouldn't be rewarded for it. "just make a new account!" Just stop bootlicking huge corporations, this is anti-consumer DRM by another name. Microsoft, 343 and Comcast should all die in a rapefire, and go to Greed Hell.
I just wanted to play Halo

UPDATE: I managed to retrieve my old gamertag and actually start playing the game. From what I've seen, the optimization is... okay. There's a bit of stuttering but I'm running the game in Native resolution on an Intel Integrated Graphics 520, so I suppose I asked for that. Turns out the reason you need a gamertag is because the multiplayer runs on Xbox Live. In spite of this, apparently none of my ranks, unlocks or even stats carry over from my dozens of hours on the 360. Good job, 343. There's also the implementation of Easy Anti-Cheat, which is like putting the TSA in your video game. This review stands because it reflects my frustration at the time I posted it, but if they could possibly unscrew the game by removing all this thinly veiled DRM, I'd be happy to change this to positive.

I want to address something about DUSK. A lot of people in the reviews and the community praise DUSK for being a throwback to games like Quake and Doom, and in a lot of ways it is. There's colored keys and doors, you move like an Olympic sprinter on the juice, no reloading, plenty of secrets and minimalist storytelling. Now, this is probably viewed as positive to many in the boomer shooter crowd, but for many people--myself included--it sounded like it was meant to pander to nostalgia-blinded /vr/ posters whose idea of a good time was wandering around hitting switches that open doors across the map, the map which contains 50 archviles and 200 revenants and is 70% hurt floors. If you're like me, you've played enough Doom WADs to assume that anyone making retro FPS content was likely a masochistic copypasting idiot who thinks anyone who doesn't enjoy fake difficulty and redundant convoluted map design is just too stupid and should go back to Fortnite. DUSK is not made by these people.

PROS:
Movement: It just feels good. Rocket jump, Crossbow jump, regular jump, flip through the air during a jump, just bunnyhopping around is fun all on it's own. The various powerups let you do things like climb on walls, slow down time and basically fly once you know what you're doing. If you think you can get to somewhere on the map, you probably can. Even the swimming feels good.
Combat: There are hardly any hitscan enemies in the game. Mastering the movement makes you a ball of leaden death, and you'll need to be, because the enemies are balanced enough that you can clear most firefights in dozens of different ways. The difficulty curve isn't perfect, but it's always just hard enough to keep you on your toes, without going into unfair ranges. The combat has a rythm to it, a method to it's madness that you eventually pick up on instinctively.
Enemies: The enemies work together and fit together nicely. You start out with demonic goats, scarecrows with double barreled shotguns and various backwoods cultists, then you fight soldiers and autoturrets in episode 2, and episode 3 has... very interesting additions to the roster. The enemies that stand out are the Black Phillips, demonic goats that don't hitscan even though it seems like they do, Wendigoes, which leave you unsettled for the rest of the game after their first appearance, and Cowgirls, who are the one enemy in the game I would say need a nerf. Their hitboxes are thin as ♥♥♥♥, and their health pool is fat as ♥♥♥♥. Even then, they show up infrequently enough they're really not a problem. Bone balls are freaky as ♥♥♥♥. ♥♥♥♥ the rats though, the rats are awful.
Visuals: So the graphics are deliberately 1997 tier, and the game uses this to it's advantage. A lot of these enemies wouldn't be half as freaky in high resolution, and the lighting effects combined with the blocky models give a constant uncanny valley effect that left me in awe. DUSK manages to look amazing not in spite of but because of the chunky graphics
Music: Andrew Hulshult. Speaks for itself honestly.

MIXED BAG:
Guns: The arsenal is Doom and Quake standard mostly, you've got dual pistols, dual shotguns, a super shotgun, a machine gun, a hunting rifle, a crossbow, a grenade launcher (called a mortar, for some reason), a rocket launcher and a sword. It has some of the same problems. You'll almost always use the SS over the Dual Shotguns because it's, well, super, and the pistols are basically overshadowed by any other weapon. The grenade launcher is bizarrely terrible, doesn't hurt enemies much, it's slow, and if it doesn't hit directly it takes 10 seconds to go off, which scatters any other grenades. Hunting Rifle is very strong, SS is a death dealer, the Riveter is one of the best rocket launchers I've used, which is a lot, and the crossbow seems off until you realize what "penetrates anything" really means. The sword is fine if you're low on ammo, but the game is generous enough with ammo that it shouldn't be a common occurrence.
Level Design: There is no level that approaches the labyrinthian ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ that you can find in Doom, but there's a little more bactracking than I'm willing to ignore and any amount of switch hunting is a negative. That said, this leans towards positive, all things considered, since the creative ways the levels change as you progress makes it far more rewarding than frustrating.
Difficulty: Again, combat is great. Thing is, there are some pretty big fluctuations in difficulty. In episode 1 I died 1 time to the failed experiment of all things but later on I had to quicksave somewhat regularly. The horde in the penultimate level is a significant difficulty spike, even if you can skip it . That said for a blind playthrough on my end, I got through pretty easily all things considered, I did cheat on the Guardian fight at the end of episode 2, but that was after I died when he had 100 health left

Bad:
Rats: I ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hate em. Their hitboxes are so wonky, there's always more than one and they're just annoying. it's a minor gripe, but my good time was always lessened when they showed up. Ratacombs can toss my salad
Dark: Yeah it's unsettling whenever your flashlight breaks but after that wears off it's just annoying bumping around in the dark.
Boomer Community: Even I'm getting sick of complaining about them, but when DUSK gets an active modding community, you know 90% of the maps are going to be lazy ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ filled with 200 Cowgirls and 500 Wendigoes and "you have solved 1/89th of the switch puzzle". I look forward to the creative maps people make, but I know I'm going to have to dig through hundreds of slaughter maps to find them.

Conclusion: DUSK is not a throwback, it's not Steam Trash overhyped by nostalgia, it's not a love letter to the good old days. DUSK is a rare treat, a diamond in a sea of appealing to the lowest common denominator, a game for people who love games. I can not recommend this game enough, and I give it 6 Leathernecks out of 6. I can only hope AMID EVIL is anywhere near as good as this.