🔒 EXCLUSIVE: Profiles/ - Full Archive

+rep

Ok, DO NOT ADD THIS PERSON!!

First of all, let me clarify, this is a WOMAN. A FEMALE GAMER.

So it all started back on the 8th of April, 1964. I awoke at around 6pm to play my favorite game Counter-Strike Source. I joined a multiplayer lobby, only to be blessed by the harmonic beauty of a female voice. I perked up. Little Timmy did too. A female? In a game? I didn't believe it. Drool was already leaking from my mouth. It was just too euphoric.

We played for a few rounds, talking and stuff. She kept on calling me a creep, but she's just playing hard to get. Eventually, she left the lobby, and my life was over. It was too sudden. I just couldn't handle it. I needed her in my life.

I immediately opened Steam and entered her username. I had memorized it earlier, so no problems there. I found her profile and ohhhhhh my god her profile picture was soooo hooot. One glance of it dried me of all my fluids in an instant. I started having a fever from the shock, but I wasn't done yet...

Hey it’s me, we just played together. I noticed you didn’t add me but I send you a friend request haha, maybe it glitched or something you’re pretty cool though like I said before, that’s why I got my team to throw for you. It’s so cool to see a girl playing in games though. I know you have a boyfriend so I hope he treats you well. Like if I was you’re boyfriend I’d make you sandwiches while you play and buy you chocolate and give you back rubs and call you cool and laugh with you at all your jokes, not real though because we aren’t together (at least yet) ;) Yeah so haha you should totally accept my friend request so we can talk more and have fun together, just as friends of course coz otherwise it would be weird and I don’t want to get cooties from you ewwwww (just joking, I would like your cooties) :p