44

So today is my 44th birthday.  I spent the day with the guys and they participated in their first shooting competition.  They borrowed a weapon from one of Darren's friends.  They did well for their first time.  It was fun to watch them.

Playing with Paper

None of these supplies are new, in fact they are probably as old as the photos (circa 2008).  I cut the honeycomb out with my Silhouette and added just bits and pieces from a box full of embellishments that I kept.

It felt good to play with paper again.

On turning 44.

So next Saturday is my birthday and I'll be 44 years old.  I don't know why but that seems old to me.  Like I still remember being my kids age and thinking that 44 year old people were old people and now I am one of them.

I think part of the reason I feel so old is my kids are getting older.  This past week, Ian spent at a JROTC cadet leadership camp.  He looks so grown up in his uniform and it scares me to think that I only have him to myself for so much more time and then he will be a grown up.

I mean seriously, stop growing up kid!!

I don't know that all the problems women my age have is hormonal.  I mean we just have so many emotions running through us all the time.  I'm proud of the people my kids are growing up to be but scared for them because the future is still uncertain and I want nothing but the best for them but I know I can't control everything and make it easy and perfect for them and I have to trust that I have done the right things for them when I can so that when they have to go out in to the world themselves they have the tools and smarts to make it all work out.  *deep breath*  Let's just say at almost 44, I cry a lot.

And because I don't want Evan to feel like I don't ever post pictures of him, here he is getting his star rank at our Boy Scout court of honor a couple of months ago.  I'm really proud of this kid too because he pretty much just does stuff on his own without us having to help him and he is SO SMART, I mean like crazy scary smart.  He wants to work for NASA building robots that will explore other planets and I have no doubt in my mind that if when he is done with college that is still what he wants to do that he will be doing it.

I've been getting the weird itch to scrapbook again.  I don't know if it is because my kids are growing up so fast and I still have so much to catch up on in scrapbook time but I might try it and just see what happens.  My problem is all the supplies and stuff that are out there now are so artsy and made for these layouts that use these tiny little photos instead of 4x6 photos that I have.  And have I told you I had to buy myself reading glasses this year so tiny prints isn't something I want to use!!  I'm going to pull out some paper and see what happens.  Maybe I can bring 4x6 back into vogue!