Heart Attack

Samantha visiting daddy in the hospital.

My husband had a heart attack over the weekend. He was having what we thought was heart burn while camping with Emily. He went to the doctor on Monday morning. She did an EKG and she told him to go to the ER. They ran a few tests and the got right to surgery. They did an angioplasty and put in two stints, Please keep our family in your prayers and pray for Marty to have have complete restoration.

I am so overwhelmed. I am so scared. The love of my life, my sweet darling husband, now having stints in his heart and having to take off of these medications for the rest of his life. Will he have a shorter life, will there more complications with his heart in the future, how will we afford these medications when we were already struggling to pay our bills?

I feel so responsible. I feel I wasn't the best wife, that I caused him so much stress from our arguments that it damaged his heart. He had high cholesterol. But we mistakenly thought that with a good diet of whole grains, fruits and vegetables and exercise, that he could get it down. We never dreamed it was filling up his veins. I have so much regret. I love my husband so much. How am I going to be able to cope? How is he going to be able to provide? We have so many expenses with Samantha and now this and no insurance to cover it. We were barely making it as it was. His car is over 15 years old and keeps breaking down, and we can't afford to get him a new one. He can't work any harder than he already is. He is already at work until 7 and later each night, coming him utterly exhausted. Now he will be limited in how much he can do.  It's all my fault. If only, if only. If I could go back and have been a more relaxed, easy going, loving, supportive wife. If I had encouraged him to take the cholesterol lowering medication we wouldn't be in this boat.

I don't want to lose him earlier in life. He is the love of my life. I would be devastated. He is 51. I am about to be 47. We have all of these children to raise, the youngest being 11, 9, 4 and 7 months. I couldn't possibly go to work. Day care would take all of the money. I couldn't bear to leave my babies anyway. It would kill me. I wouldn't be able to function. My heart is in the home. I wish I knew of something I could do from home that wouldn't take too much time away from the family but would provide a decent income. And I don't mean multi-level marketing. That takes so much time building your team. I don't have that kind of time to be hanging on the phone constantly and whatever else is involved. I don't know what to do about Samantha's care with her having down syndrome when we are no longer here to take care of her. We can't set anything aside for her future. What is going to happen to her? I am so anxious. I have so much on my plate. Homeschooling the children, Samantha's therapy, running the home. Now I have to do his part too, taking the kids to their outside activities, taking out the trash, grocery shopping, getting Matthew ready for bed. He would do Matthew, who is 4, and I would do the baby.  And it goes on and on. Also, the sad thing is we make too much to qualify for governmental help but not enough to help ourselves.

Lord, help me. Help me to cope. Please heal my husband's heart and let there be no future complications or more blockage.  Please help me to be a good wife. Please provide for us. Please don't let us lose our home. Please show us the way. Please show Marty if there is a job he could do that would pay more and be so taxing. Please help us to be able to provide for at least the basic needs of our children, education, braces, medical, food and shelter. Please give us the money we need to pay for his medications each month for without them he will die. We need help now. I can't stop crying.

Open for prayer and advice and anything else God puts on your heart.

Linking with Never Growing Old.

I have placed a secure Paypal Donate button below if you would like to help us with our ongoing medical expenses. Thank you in advance and may God bless you.