Acme Joy, I felt, was my place. I wasn't attracted to the name "Acme" because I associated it with grocery stores and Wiley Coyote's crazy plans to catch runners and get bird pussy. Rather, I was attracted to the "Joy" part - Joy has many positive meanings, including absolutely fantastic and wholesome pleasure and happiness. However, since the link was sent to me by a pervert, I assumed it would be more of a masturbatory pleasure.

Of course, AcmeJoy.com is a company that offers quality sex toys for men, women and couples. It has been helping people play harder with their fingers, fists, penises and other natural body parts for half a century. In fact, they are currently having a sale to celebrate their fifth anniversary, which is one of the reasons I decided to take this opportunity to do a review. We'll see what happens. Maybe I'll find my next plastic and silicone addiction. I guess you'll find out after I've been free of reviews for a while, because a good pocket pussy or an automatic dick sucker will make me less productive. Good luck, motherfuckers.

Joy in Acme Joy.

Acme Joy immediately makes a strong impression with its sparkling, clean, bright decor. While some brothels, both online and in the real world, look and smell disgusting, Acme Joy presents itself as a classy establishment. It's not a super-luxury layout, but at least according to this porn webmaster, the front page catalog is more visually appealing than FleshLight.com's unwieldy advertising graphics.

Speaking of Fleshlight, Acme seems to be one of its direct competitors. The first gadget we saw was a very similar device, with a lightsaber-like handle with a built-in flesh hole. The catalog, however, appears to be a bit more diverse than Fleshlight's core offering. A little scrolling showed a telescopic vibrating dildo, an anal vibrator, a side-saddle sex doll, a penis pump and a teaser.

If I had to categorize prices, I'd say AcmeJoy.com offers sex toys in a solid middle price range. Most of the offerings on the front page are under $100, although some of the larger sex dolls can be expensive. These include automatic penis vacuum pumps, six-mode automatic penis suction and realistic vibrating dildos with remote control. Conversely, you won't find many inexpensive products in some cheap sex toy stores. The cheapest is a $14 penis ring, and introductory strokers cost about $30.

In honor of Sale Bryon's fifth anniversary, there are discounts of up to 30% on some items. The store has a number of promotions, so it's worth checking out the promotions listed on the home page. Another promotion going on right now is offering discounts of $40 or $90 on sex dolls, depending on the original price. There is also a B3G1F section. Click on the acronym "Buy 2 and get the 3rd one free" and you'll find about 60 toys listed. Yes, buy the 3D masturbator with clear vacuum suction channel and the 10-frequency vibrating cup with automatic masturbator peashooter suction and get a 6.9-inch single channel deep oral sex masturbator as a gift. Great value for money.

They also offer free shipping on orders over $72. That's a pretty odd number, but I'm sure they've done the math, which makes sense; given Acme Joy's overall average price level, getting a package for free shouldn't be difficult. The packaging is also very well thought out, with a box labeled "FAKE VAGINA FOR MASTURBATORS INSIDE," which I've only received once from my dad, but it's standard packaging. The return and exchange policy is also standard, so don't expect to return the toy after sticking your penis in it or sticking it in your feces.

Let's talk about these toys

AcmeJoy.com offers a wide range of sex toys. Divided into categories of male, female, male enhancement and anal toys, the two AcmeJoy-branded lubricants are located in separate aisles. (Both are water-based and come in 8.5 oz. bottles, plus $1 for the super-concentrated type.)

Since I'm a man, and I assume many of my readers are also men, I checked out the men's section first. There are about 100 devices and gadgets for horny men, including electronic and hand-held masturbation bowls, blowjob toys and sex dolls.In my opinion, the electronic masturbation cups are the real stars of this line - they make up almost half of the Acme Joy men's toy catalog and are available in all kinds and variations. The Tornado vibrator is intriguing with its large, protruding, well-laced cup that resembles a flower. Most of the others have the familiar Fleshlight look, with different styles of artificial pussy and mouths embedded in them, plus vibration, thrusting and fellatio.

Fleshlight is a very popular and sought-after sex toy that comes in a variety of styles, including 'Fleshlight' style, 'Fleshlight' style, 'Fleshlight' style, 'Fleshlight' style, 'Fleshlight' style, 'Fleshlight' style, 'Fleshlight' style, 'Fleshlight' style, 'Fleshlight' style, 'Fleshlight' style, and 'Fleshlight' style. 'Fleshlight' like 'Fleshlight'.Handy is a great product, but I'm here to explain how it differs from AcmeJoy. First, the Handy is more expensive than the AcmeJoy, at $200 plus free shipping. The advantage of the AcmeJoy is also more variety, since the Handy only offers one type of automatic screwdriver and many attachments. The difference is so big that I don't know if I could call it a direct competitor. However, there is room in my bedside drawer for both brands.

AcmeJoy also offers realistic sex dolls priced from a few hundred dollars - not the full-body models you can buy from companies like JoyLoveDolls, Tantaly or Real Doll, but they have realistic, fleshy T&A and fuckable holes. If you've ever wanted to fuck a sexy headless woman with a dismembered torso, this is your chance. It fits in your closet more easily than a big doll, and you don't have to worry about the neighbors seeing you carrying a corpse.

AcmeJoy's section on male enhancement includes penis pumps, penis rings, penis sleeves and glans trainers. I've never tried tying it to my nipples or testicles, but I've heard that the vibrations are transmitted to your lady when you fuck her, and AcmeJoy has user reviews, so naturally I wanted to hear what everyone had to say. Now I don't think it was a great idea because I spent about $45 on something that stimulated the back of my neck.

While you're at it, buy something for your girlfriend.

Some guys may be afraid of dildos and vibrators, but they think they can never match my non vibrating cock. Men, let women know that you can have a lot of fun playing with these things. We can enjoy them all together. So the next place I checked out was the "women's" section of Acme Joy.

There are only about 50 dildos and vibrators on the menu. It's definitely better than stores that offer you a thousand mediocre options. However, in keeping with the big picture, they are neither the cheapest dildos in the world, nor the most expensive. The most expensive one I've found is a 7.3-inch wired dildo with remote-controlled electromagnetic jerks for $20, but most are considerably cheaper. A wireless 6.3-inch type with similar features costs $70.

AcmeJoy.com is a sex toy store that's pretty easy to recommend. It's a choice killer, and they've provided enough perks to keep Penny Pincher happy. Window shopping doesn't cost anything, so go for it.