Every time I turn on the news, people are talking about COVID-19. I wish these experts would take up yellow fever, a disease that has plagued me for years. So far, no cure or vaccine has been established, but I have been saved by JAV (Japanese adult video) sites on the Internet, and I found a new site called AVCrempie, so naturally, I decided to shake my cock at it.

The AVCrempie.com domain was finally registered over a year ago and went live in earnest a short time later. That's not a very long time, but like many JAV sites, they saw a really fucking fast rise. Recently, traffic has exploded and they are getting over 4,000 visitors a day. Some people say you shouldn't jump on the bandwagon, but those people are probably missing out on a lot of good Asian porn. If my calculations are correct, AVCrempie has nearly 12,000 Japanese adult videos.

Cute Asian girls and ugly pixels

AV Crempie has a typical JAV site layout. While many porn tubes cover their home pages with movie thumbnails, JAVs are usually presented with DVD covers. For the young fools out there who may not remember, porn used to be purchased on round, flat discs and even in plastic boxes covered in pornography. You can still buy it today if you want to, but its clientele is typically older and less technologically savvy or technologically advanced Japanese, which doesn't make much sense in today's world of streaming 4K video, but there is a lot about Japanese sexual culture that Westerners find bewildering.

There is another thing that Westerners have a hard time understanding. Censorship. Half of the people reading this paragraph probably did so because they pressed CTRL+F and typed in "censorship". This is basically a problem with all JAV sites, and AVCrempie is no exception. I already see pixelated pussy and blurred intercourse on the home page.

There is no uncensored tag in the AV genre sidebar, but there does seem to be an AV uncensored area. I clicked on it to check it out. Then I see that almost all the videos in the main section are also listed in the censored section. That can't be right. This is like an afterthought, file it some other way.

Type "uncensored" in the search bar and you get two results. Both are broken, with error messages that OpenLoad is temporarily down or that the file may have been permanently moved to a new web address. I play this game enough to know it's the latter, but it's not fucking fun.

All your favorite kinky JAV genres are here.

Uncensored may not be one of the tags, but AVCrempie.com has a pretty fucking solid catalog of Japanese porn categories. For many porn fans, these are just as appealing as visible penetration for many perverts. Japan has its own style that is different from other Asian porn and from other countries.

The sidebar genre includes many standard smut tropes. The girl on the cover has a cute face, pretty little boobs, and her hands are bound above her head, although the blurry pixels hide her hairy snatch. She's my kind of girl.

Clicking on the video page brought up a pop-under, and clicking on the play button brought up a pop-up. I also got a startling ad, thanks to an accidental click while trying to focus on the right window. That's with the spam blocker running, and I don't want to see what happens here once I remove the condom. I'd be much more likely to be bothered by spam here than to counteract it elsewhere.

Like the rest of the JAV collection, the movies are not hosted onsite. It would not start playing at all unless I let it buffer for a minute, and even at 480p, the same garbage resolution as a household toaster oven, the movie paused every few seconds to buffer some more.

I had to give up. Next, I tried another front page movie, "19 Year Old Sexual Development 4 Productions First Body Experiment" starring Nanase Asahina. This time, I got spam, but the movie would not even play. I checked my bandwidth and it wasn't a problem on my end.

After a few minutes, I finally got the video to play in the tab, a little blurry at 480p, but at least it doesn't freeze up every few seconds. I decided to increase the resolution and see what happens.

You have to click on the video player to use any of the controls. Each time you click on it, more pop-up spam appears. when it loaded and played back fine in 720p, I decided to risk my luck by maxing it out. Assuming the movie host (not AVCrempie.com) has the bandwidth available, the 1080p option is also available.

One gorgeous AV idol at a time.

It's a fucking pain in the ass to start up, but it's the best Japanese adult video out there. Time and time again, I see JAV sites that are accessed so fucking much that some of them are absolute minefields of spam. I don't like that trade-off, but I get it. When I see this nimble young Japanese woman bouncing on her partner's cock, I understand why people are willing to deal with the onslaught and buffering of erectile drug ads. There's also the wide range of kinky categories and the fact that we have the world's most beautiful porn idols and porn stars.

I liked it so much, I clicked the download button. Besides, I figured it would be easier to watch without the fucking buffering and spam, so after a 10-second countdown, the file host offered a selection of MP4s in several resolutions and instructed me to right-click and save as. I tried them all and got the same Network Error message each time. Download Failed.

AVCrempie.com definitely has some good points. Namely, it has thousands of free JAV movies. It is so well organized that you can dig right in and find the AV idol, studio, or genre you like to watch while polishing your chopsticks. There is a serious obstacle that