I've had Erotic MV open in my browser all morning, and I just realized that it's actually not morning anymore. It's a good sign when a website of any kind helps you lose track of time. If you ask me, being able to work hard while being distracted is even better. There are millions of choices on how to spend your productive time today, and I've reviewed thousands on ThePornDude, but I think today's masturbation excursion is one that will appeal to pervs who prefer a little plot and a fair amount of triviality. However, I think today's masturbation excursion will appeal to pervs who prefer a little plot and a fair amount of down-and-dirty stuff.

The MV in EroticMV.com stands for Movies, and the subtitle under the logo claims to be Best Erotic Movies. This is because this is not a generic free tube, nor is it the arty-farty softcore stuff that is often lumped under the "erotica" moniker. This digitized celluloid library is like going to an old video store for free vintage smut, foreign nudie movies, sexy monster movies, and other VHS/DVD oddities. The site is unusual in this day and age, but it gets millions of visitors every month. So let's take a look at what they are watching.

Who wants to see erotic music videos?

When the link to the erotic music video was first sent to my DMs, I really thought it was just going to be a free tube. The term "erotica" is not often used in the context of pornography today, but video sharing sites are still the mainstay of free pornography. I thought that this site also used the word "erotica" to set itself apart from other sites.

So when I launched this site, I was very surprised to find something different from the kind of work I routinely fap-test. The simple red and black design reminded me of going to the cinema, but the video thumbnails took me back to the days of musty video stores, with boxes lined up and shelves full of possibilities. Young perverts would never know the magic of flipping through the boxes to see what weirdness awaited them.

The thumbnails on EroticMV are not the same as the pornographic screenshots you might find on the home page of a typical tube; they are more akin to a specialized JAV (Japanese Adult Video) site, where the videos are represented by images of the original physical covers, known as box art. This sets it apart from other adult sites. You could say that on any video site you are choosing from a handful of previews, but here, as in the days of video stores, the initial choice comes down primarily to atmosphere.

So, what kind of atmosphere do we have today? EroticMV.com is not just a VHS library, but a full one. The material leans heavily toward softcore, as opposed to today's cock-in-the-hole, cum-soaked hardcore, but there is still a real variety of films to choose from. Even before I looked at the top page, I saw classic French lesbian porn, cheesy 80s horror porn, Korean cuckold movies, Chinese action exploitation, and classic 70s Afro-pub porn.

The genre menu also includes many of the niche genres one would expect from an adult site, such as incest, lesbian, MILF, BDSM, office, and voyeurism. But it is the less common subgenres that make EroticMV special. There are sections for comedy, sci-fi, monster movies, witches, ghosts, exploitation, animation, and more. Come for the gang bangs, stay for the historical erotica and the vampire movies with boobs.

I would position Erotic MV as a VHS-era site, but technically it has a library from the 1960s to the 2020s, and you can browse by decade. That said, it's more vintage than contemporary, so if you're looking for current-day fuckflicks, this is not the place for you. However, it is a fairly easy and obvious recommendation for grindhouse movie fans, vintage smut enthusiasts, pretentious foreign film masturbators, and the average drunk.

I don't have enough weed for all this.

Are you unemployed? If not, do you have a lot of sick savings? Because if you really understand the art of erotic music videos, you may not be able to resist smoking another bong and loading the movies over and over again. Even if you have a few dozen movies to worry about, given the size of your library, your forearm strength and stamina might be greatly increased, even if your productivity is reduced. Oh, and a bellyful of food.

As of this writing, there are over 1000 movies in the EroticMV collection. To get an idea of how fast the site is growing, I tried looking for upload dates, but couldn't find any. However, the domain has only been around since the end of 2019, so it must be a steady production.The list of LATEST EROTIC MOVIES scrolls at the top of the screen, listing the same flicks we saw in the top few columns of the first page.

The newest erotic movies include 70s Italian erotica, the 90s new age erotica of The Sexperiment, and the turn-of-the-century softcore film Exposed. IMDB rating, year of release, Likes! tag, etc., I like that it provides a lot of information under the video's cover.

The one that caught my attention was the 1987 film, which has only 5 likes out of 10 on IMDB and 5 on EroticMV.com. It only has a "like," but I like the cheeseball vibe, as well as the text written between the two beauties in 80s costumes: if John Waters met George Romero... It would be Night of the Living Babes. If John Waters met George Romero, they would make Night of the Living Babes. When I opened the video page, I was again impressed by the amount of information available; EroticMV lists the cast, crew, and director as best as possible, and even adds clickable tags to help you navigate through the vast video library.

80s Hair, Boobs, and Zombies

Many long-form video sites are bombarded with spam cannons from the moment you launch the site, and even more so when you try to watch more videos. But with "Erotic MV," clicking on the play button for "Night of the Living Babes" wasn't ugly enough to slip through our adblockers.

The film opens with cheesy text and rough picture quality that anyone who used to throw videos into a giant mechanical box to watch would recognize. The hairstyles and costumes are very '80s, as is the amount of cocaine the bright-eyed stars supposedly drank before they were caught on camera. Honestly, this is exactly the kind of cheesy shit I was expecting when I clicked on this movie.

The girl with the feathered hair doesn't get along with the guys right away, and they talk about some sort of New Wave whorehouse on the outskirts of town on the side. I skipped about 10 minutes, at which point they seemed to have reached that whorehouse. I think the bossy woman with the frankenfurter look is a walkie-talkie, but it's hard to tell with the resolution of the VHS. The topless girls in brightly colored glam wigs look sexy, though.

Flipping through the film, you won't see any full-blown sex, but there are plenty of tits, innuendo, and sexual situations... If I have one complaint about EroticMV.com, it's that the majority of the material is really softcore by modern porn standards It's quick, easy, and easy to get into. It's not a site I'd recommend to anyone looking for a quick, easy, and filthy masturbation experience, but it's definitely worth a look if you like vintage smut and VHS weirdness. The huge, well-organized library has all sorts of rare full-length films. If you forget your lotion, I recommend the edibles and blunts that you can burn while watching.