Joymii. If you start thinking about beautiful girls getting fucked before you think about Nintendo on Joymii, get your penis up. It never occurred to me that this site is a porn site. It has a clean name and its domain is several years older than Nintendo's Mii avatars, so you'd think they'd know better. Well, I guess it doesn't matter, because after all, I'm here to twiddle my thumbs for an entirely different purpose than video gamers.

Joyii.com is a premium site dedicated to semi-homosexual videos and photos. It's not your typical hardcore site, nor is it a boring site full of soft nudity and weird erotic movies. It walks a fine line between respecting style and showing penis sucking and lesbian 69s. They lubricate themselves with luxurious truffle oil and ejaculate into their Gucci socks. Who's upscale enough.

Naked girls in expensive lighting.

Joymii.com was incorporated in 2010, which seems about right given the atmosphere the tour page creates. It's European-inspired and somewhat dated, but it doesn't necessarily look terrible. There's a sense of cleanliness and order here, which is not the case with flashy sites that lure you in with shots of cum and screaming crack shots.

Instead, large images from the latest scenes flicker across the top of the screen. The lighting of the footage is perfect, with bright lights illuminating young bodies as they are eaten from pussies or filled with thick, erect rods. Scene titles such as "Lusty College Girl," "Double Cum Massage," and "Daddy's Little (Bad) Girl" suggest a perverted script that doesn't follow a classy direction.

The girls are also very pretty - the girl in the preview picture for You May Cum Inside looks like a young Nicole Kidman. Most of the time they are photographed with sexy amateurs you wouldn't recognize. It's a mix of unknown European girls and Americans, sometimes with famous porn stars. The subtle use of famous actresses is interesting. There is a familiar hooker labeled only as "Valentina N," whose full name is not published, but many people will immediately recognize her.

Exploring the FemJoy connection.

Usually when you find a premium that tries to be upscale, it posts endless solo shots and random scenes of two girls not touching each other, and I love that Joymii.com has the kind of upscale photos you'd expect from such a store, but the action is positively messy. On the tour pages, we see girls being penetrated from all sides, sex toys shoved in and perverted with their girlfriends. There are also solo shows, but these girls don't just show off their bodies-they play with themselves.

Speaking of this artistic softcore porn site, I was surprised to see that it appeared a few minutes after the Joymii tour. The site offers lots of free previews, so I showed the trailer for the "Minor Distractions" video. Then, before the preview, the Femjoy logo appeared - Femjoy is a good site, but if you've checked it out or read my review, you know it's pretty damn bland by today's standards.

I tried another preview, this time showing only the Joymii logo. The montage started off soft, with nice natural lighting, romantic outdoor shots that soon led to hot indoor sex. The preview is tantalizing because it's pretty clean, but the thumbnail shows a girl with her mouth around a man's penis.

Suddenly everything makes sense-whether it's Joymii or Femjoy, Joy is the connection. So here are the artistic photos you'd expect from Femjoy, as well as more explicit sex. I wasn't interested in it before, but now I'm totally into it.

Fancy pants porn for the price of cargo pants.

Now it's just a matter of price. You never know what you'll find in these art collections, so with bated breath I went to the registration page to see what was out there. I'm not sure what to expect from an art collection like this, because you never know what's going to happen. But guess what - Joymii has the same pricing structure as Femjoy.

Joymii.com's monthly membership fee is usually $40, which is pretty expensive compared to other sites that charge $30. As I write this article, the site is having a summer sale and is currently being offered at half the price of the regular pay site. The porn site's prices remain a mystery, but hopefully this is the price of the "sale."

So what can be done with the money. Digging through the archives of Joymii.com, I found a lot that shook my penis. This archive has been going on since 2010, all the while piecing it together. As of this writing, there were about 1,800 updates.As of this writing, there have been approximately 1,800 updates. That's no small change.

And if you really want to fan the whole site, we encourage you to take advantage of our free download policy. Users can download as many as they want, so they can save everything to an offline playlist and set the automatic robot vagina to HIGH for quick viewing. (Disclaimer: I am not responsible for any medical accidents related to the use of homemade sex toys).

The party is not over yet. Joymii promises its members two updates each week of fresh, tastefully shot porn; one issue is my gold standard for any pay site and the schedule I use on PorndudeCasting. These guys outdo me by one movie a week, but their gimmick isn't as good. Where else would they be. A bunch of headbanging idiots banging the world's sexiest porn star.

The sign-up page says they add two movies a week, but even that's not true these days. They add a lot more-often they update every day for four days in a row, so you're unlikely to run out of new fap material.

Joy for Mii.

I woke up with yellow fever and aching balls, so I was immediately drawn to Joymii.com's "Joy Morning" video featuring a babe who calls herself Mai Tai. The 35-minute film begins with her slowly looking around her sleeping body in her underwear. The underwear is a stylish lace set, not super slutty, but something that will make your penis immediately throb. Then a white guy comes up and starts touching her, the camera running his hands over her perfect body.

The man looks like a real idiot, but his goofy smile embraces her as she wakes up. They start kissing, and at the beginning of the movie I thought the sensual shit would slowly unfold. But within a minute she pulls out his penis and gets down to business, much to his surprise. She shakes her head, strokes him, strokes his balls, and his face says, "Wow, I've never fucked a human flesh-and-blood woman before, but this is amazing."

As you'd expect from Joymii, the video is beautifully lit, shot from fashion magazine angles and looks like the cover of Vogue magazine. But this time, instead of a chick pretending to do yoga, we see hot hardcore sex.

Joymii.com is not for everyone, but we recommend it to porn lovers looking for something different from the typical big studios' pay sites. While some sites boast about their depravity, these sites take the opposite approach, tastefully depicting sluts getting fucked in tight pussies.