I was talking to a sex counselor this morning, and he told me that I need to have sex more often. As much fun as it is to watch porn and pound a silicone schoolgirl's anus, sometimes you need to get your dick into something raw, wet and tight, and while it's nice to find a local fat girl on Tinder, it's also nice to find someone more professional.

That's where SexAdvisor.com comes to the rescue. The domain has been around for decades, but its current incarnation is new to the Internet, and it seems whoever created it at this time is just as jaded by social distance as we are. The goal of the site is to help you find brothels, erotic massages, strip clubs, swinger clubs and other live, interactive adult clubs. entertainment that you can find. So let's see if it's time to end my dry time.

You've been talking to a sex counselor recently.

If you're not turned off, SexAdvisor uses your location to determine where you are and immediately provides you with the most relevant shit. For example, before I typed in my address, the site provided a menu with pictures of all the local establishments I know and love. Usually sites like this require at least a little research, so it's surprising that it shows familiar places so quickly - SexAdvisor is quick to find sex clubs near you, and surprisingly exhaustive.

How I know it is comprehensive. That's because I know where they are. There are the strip clubs that everyone expects, the local DÃJU VU and some creepy clubs with a reputation for backroom entertainment, plus I've heard rumors of a nearby Asian massage parlor and more. Notably, the recently closed "adult bookstore" was said to be a disgusting little hole where plump middle-aged women engaged in fellatio with strangers. The store had been open for years, and many area residents said it was only a matter of time.

By default, SexAdvisor.com shows you all the local establishments. However, if you have any specific entertainment on your mind, you can type one of the options at the top of the list. There are categories for brothels, erotic massage, nightclubs, FKKs, swinger clubs and escort agencies.

I wasn't familiar with the term FKK, but Sex Advisor summarizes its philosophy: FKK is an acronym for the German word FreikÃrperkultur, which translates to "free body culture." It is similar to nudism, where people spend their daily lives in the nude.

In fact, there are several famous nudist resorts within a few hours of my house, so I figured they would show up on the list once I switched to watching FKK. Unfortunately, however, all of the FKK locations listed are in different European countries. I have to assume this is due to subtle differences in the definition of FKK that I am not yet familiar with. ЯIt uses an ad blocker, so no spam is displayed. This is unusual for a free site, especially a site without a clear monetization strategy. I don't know how SexAdvisor.com makes its money, but I certainly have nothing to complain about.

In fact, my biggest complaint about the site is that it's so damn new. I mean, most of the reviews section is still empty, waiting for John to tell us about his experiences with an escort agency, a swinger's club or an FKK establishment down the block. But of course, as the site grows, these empty spaces will begin to be filled, and it will all become even more useful.

SexAdvisor.com is one of the best directories of sex shops, agencies and adult clubs I've ever seen. It's completely free to use and instantly shows you what's available in your area, so I'd recommend checking it out even if you're not actively trying to buy some pussy tonight. Who knows. You.