Vintage cuties and classic beauties will always have a place in my heart and masturbation fantasies, no matter how many generations of modern sluts I continue to shake my dick at. So much porn has been created and forgotten that we have to be thankful for the photos and videos that have stood the test of time. Vintage smut is carrying on a sexual legacy that will last for over 100 years. Imagine being so sexy that 100 years after you die, people will be fapping to your memory.

VintageCuties.com is a premium porn site and historical archive of smut from 1850 to 1990. The site itself was launched in 2005 and is historic in its own right; the early decade is remembered by smut researchers as the era of cam sites and reality porn networks, but Vintage Cuties has always had an erotic market for the classics, as proved. Its retro-sex legacy continues to this day, carrying the fuck flicks of the past into the future and beyond.

A Masturbation Journey Through History

It is obvious that VintageCuties is not your typical adult site. The design itself is vintage, simple, and low-tech compared to the flashy 4K anal collections and VR cosplay sites that major studios have been putting out lately. Most of the photos are in black and white, and there is a shitload of text on the pages.

As the web's foremost expert on dirty movies and masturbation, I'm often tempted to make jokes about my Yale degree in porn history or the TED talk I gave on the aesthetics of blowjobs in modern cinema The academic feel of VintageCuties makes me It makes me feel almost like a con artist. I'm not kidding when I say that you can really learn something while waving your cock at a screen.

Of course, despite the educational value of this site, there is plenty to shake your dick at. This is, after all, a vintage porn site. It's nice to see the tone of PBS fall away when you realize that the sepia-toned photos are of naked women, blowjobs, and old-fashioned orgies. When you hear the words "vintage porn," you think of classy nudity and softcore poses, but there's also plenty of hardcore and BDSM on the landing page.

Some people are surprised that this kind of porn was around back in the day; I saw a movie from the 40's that didn't even have audio recorded, so there was old orchestral music playing and a sexy black woman dancing for the camera. A stripper is standing on her head and a white boy is touching her ass. As they dance, their clothes come off, revealing why they are called vintage cuties. After getting completely naked, they strip and fuck a man naked.

Legendary porn stars of the past

While these beautiful women have been immortalized in smut and have given their image to a new generation of masturbators, their names and stories are often lost in the passage of time. Many are unknown amateurs, but you know exactly what I'm talking about: you see what looks like a free preview video, but the "play" button simply brings you to a sign-up page. VintageCuties.com is a bona fide video previews up front, and it also sticks to the old-fashioned style of offering new users a free trial membership, a perk rarely seen nowadays. I was happy enough with that, but as I was researching the terms and conditions, I was told that if I was ready to jump on board, they would offer a full membership at half price.

Standard membership at Vintage Cuties is $30 a month, the same price as most pay sites over the last few years. Membership also gives you unlimited trial access to megasites like Naturists, Real Mature Amateur, Homemade Junk, Hairy Pussy Cuties and Amazing Grannies. If you get tired of looking at old nude pics, just look at naked old ladies. There are nearly 200 hours of content in the bonus area, so you'll have plenty of sick days saved up.

None of the pornography in VintageCuties is new. In fact, some of it dates back 170 years. That doesn't mean the site stopped updating decades ago. The vintage porn enthusiasts who run this site are always on the lookout for new and old stock, retro blowjobs, threesomes, and lesbian scenes. While some sites have been slow to update due to the coronavirus pandemic, VintageCuties.com still promises daily updates.

We have been updating daily since 2005. If you've been sitting on a beanbag in math class, you'll probably notice that they already have a large stash of pornography. Someone please give this pervert an honorary degree. This collection of vintage porn is huge.

According to the registration page, there are about 200,000 vintage photos, 1,300 retro videos, and over 1,500 vintage adult magazines that can be scanned and "read" immediately. I am Professor Porn Dude and today's homework is to watch videos from the 1850s-1920s, look at photos of Burlesque Girls, and read a well-researched history of Bonnie Logan, the Queen of 50s pinups.

Like doing jack in the museum.

Looking at "Vintage Cuties" reminds me of the time I was kicked out of a museum for sticking my penis out while admiring baroque nudes. The entire site is both historically educational and sexy. You can learn how they did or didn't trim their hairy muffs throughout modern history while getting a hard workout on your forearms. Ordinary linguists will marvel at the evolution of sex sounds and slang over the years, and sly linguists will be fascinated by the development of pussy-licking techniques on camera.

It is hard to find any real fault with VintageCuties. The collection is a bit soft-core by modern standards, but it preserves quite a few surprisingly hard and kinky pieces. For potential subscribers, the images and videos may be the biggest inhibitors.