The Sugar Book is like an encyclopedia-style archive of recipe collections, tooth-rotting and finger-staining candy formulas that his mother kept on the shelf. As a man of many vices, I can't say I was totally against the idea of lighting up my brain with glucose, sucrose, and dextrose, but this is ThePornDude and I am The Porn Dude. Sugar is good, but I wouldn't review a site here unless it was going to help me cum.

While not a free tube or premium porn site, Sugarbook.com can help you rock off. More to the point, if you pocket a few dollars more than the average unemployed loser on Tinder, you can find a beautiful woman to help you drop that rock. If the name and my vague description don't tell you what I'm talking about, let me clarify: this is a social network for sugar babes and sugar daddies. It gets hundreds of thousands of hits every month, so if you're lucky you'll find a girl who thinks my wallet is sexy.

Classy, but still horny.

From the moment you open the home page, you know that Sugarbook is not your average dating site. I've reviewed plenty of really half-baked dating and dating sites where you can tell they put minimal effort and money into the presentation, but Sugarbook is in a whole other stratosphere. Hell, it even makes classy joints like Match.com look a little anemic. The layout is pretty as shit, and the home page has a big hi-res gif of a sophisticated woman with a pearl necklace walking in slow motion, pushing through a velvet curtain along the way.

Where is she going? Is she facing her laptop or iPhone and loading the Sugar Book to find a sugar daddy to buy her dinner and jewelry? Or is this blurry businessman a sugar daddy she has already met on the site? Either way, this image helps set a considerably more sophisticated and luxurious tone than the typical dating site that screams, "Let's fuck a local girl tonight.

I'm reviewing Sugarbook.com on my laptop today, but there are also apps available for Android and iOS, so you can look for sugar babes while taking a big piss during your company break. Neither is available in the official app store, so you'll have to get them from the website.

I was interested in the events section linked in the header, which is not a standard feature of dating sites. It turns out that they have many live streaming events, which usually include luxury items and contests to win dates around the world. This year I had to chuckle at all the stereotypical luxury items, including Gucci, Louis, Tiffany, Fendi, Coach, and YSL. If the sugar babies in the sugar book are used to this sort of thing, the poor won't stand a chance. I guess that's the way it is.

But how do I get in?

I see a lot of low-effort hookups; I looked around Sugar Book and found a registration form that accepts e-mails. When I finally got around to creating an account, they asked for my phone number for verification. I got a red text that said, "You have tried too many times." Please try again later." If I wasn't over 60, I could have still used my Facebook account. It seems like a remarkably fucking stupid business decision for a dating site that targets sugar daddies to only accept sign-ups from a platform that is favored by grandparents over young rich men.

Finally, behind the velvet curtain.

I'm not going to tell you how I finally got into Sugarbook.com because it involved a Facebook account that is not mine. In addition, there is a manual verification process, which is a fucking pain in the ass, but this can be seen as a mixed bag. Sure, it sucks when you are trying to sign up, but in theory it means you are less likely to get catfished on Sugarbook than on other dating sites. As for verifying your identity, they really do more than that.

As I walked in, it occurred to me that the requirement to register on Facebook may be a deliberate attempt to attract a demographic like theirs. The number of sugar babies on this site greatly outnumbers the number of sugar daddies, and they are generally younger than the men. Also part of the formula is that college-age girls get free accounts.

I'm hanging out in Chicago this week, so I used Sugarbook to search for Sugar Babies there. It's not the biggest pool I've seen on dating sites, but it's a decent choice for such a narrow niche. But it's a decent choice for such a narrow niche. I don't know if it's because Sugarbaby is sexy or because the admin is actively recruiting and promoting sexy girls.

Those pretty girls message me if they like me, but I get the feeling that most of them are waiting for their sugar daddies to make the first move. Unfortunately, free members can't send messages, so you can't hit on them unless you pay for an account. This is normal on most dating and friendship sites and not particularly surprising on sites like this. They are not trying to encourage you to sign up with cheapskates, bums, or mom-and-pop friends who live underground.

Sugarbook is more expensive than most dating sites, with a typical monthly membership fee of just over $70. The longer the monthly membership fee, the lower the cost, but even a six-month plan costs $40 per month. This may be a problem for the average person, but not for any self-respecting sugar daddy. Upper class women aren't going to have sex with you for a value meal of matinees and McNuggets.

While there are plenty of general dating sites out there that I would recommend to anyone, Sugarbook.com appeals to a much smaller demographic. If you can get past their messy registration process (or if they