The name of the game today is bukkake, so I figured I would do a little research into the largest bukkake I could find on film. Unsurprisingly, it's pretty difficult to get official numbers on that sort of thing. It turns out the Guinness book of world records doesn't keep track of that one for some reason.

The Guinness Book of Porn Records

I can't imagine why. The Guinness Book of World Records was initially printed to help settle bar disputes. Sex is often the subject of bar disputes, so it would seem to me that three-quarters of the book should be sex stuff every year.

In case you find yourself in such a situation, know that I keep track of some sex records. If you're at a local watering hole and need to know the length of the longest penis or how much the world's strongest vagina can lift, check it out.

One of the records we track is the world's largest gang bang. This gang bang consisted of nine hundred and nineteen dicks all going into one vagina. That pussy must have been absolutely destroyed afterward. She was sitting on an ice block for the next two weeks.

I can't help but wonder what it was like for guy number nine hundred and nineteen. I imagine that bitch's pussy wasn't even touching his cock. It must have felt like fucking a light breeze. Nevertheless, I commend him on being able to bust a nut.

While that is an impressive feat, it didn't include bukkake, which was fucking stupid. If she was thinking straight, she could have hit two birds with one stone. But I suppose a bitch taking almost a thousand cocks in a day isn't thinking straight.

I was able to find a video of a bitch swallowing one hundred and forty-one loads, which is an impressive feat. This bitch was thinking. She knew she could tag the bukkake and the cum swallowing record in one go. Good for her.

My only problem with that record is that it seems low. The bukkake record should be higher than the gangbang record. A bitch doesn't have to touch a single cock to win the bukkake record. Just line up a thousand dudes and let them beat off on you. Have some fluffers toward the front of the line to help speed up the process, and you could be in and out with your record in only a couple of hours.

I'm beginning to feel a duty to make this happen. It seems like such an easy task to me. I even know the perfect bitch to hire. Marion from CumDrinkingWife is the perfect candidate. She would love every single minute of it and be proud of her accomplishment. Plus, her husband would have no problem recording the proceedings.

Well, if it happens, I'll tell you where that video might end up. BukkakeFest. Could there be a better name for a site that carries the most giant bukkake ever? I think not.

Cum has to Come From Somewhere

I don't want you guys thinking that all these loads simply fall from the sky, so you should be aware that Bukkake Fest is a paid premium porn site. If it were called "bukkake party," it would be free. But this is a god damned bukkake fest. Fortunately, they offer a range of memberships to fit everyone from one-time visitors to dedicated bukkake fanatics.

First off, if you need to see more before you buy, they offer a two-day limited trial period for $1.98. That should be plenty of time for you to fall in love with the content here.

The second option is a thirty-day nonrecurring membership for $39.95. All I can say is that you're a fucking idiot if you select this. You'll see why as I review some of the other options available to you. Don't just throw your mom's allowance out of the window.

If you're willing to go with a recurring membership, the one-month price drops to $29.95. That's still too expensive for my blood, but it sure is a lot better than forty bucks.

The fourth option is a ninety-day recurring membership for $59.95. That breaks down to about twenty bucks a month. Now we are getting more into my price range. When you have as many porn subscriptions as I do, you can't waste money.

Next is a half-year subscription that will set you back $89.95. That takes the monthly price down to fifteen bucks. Fuck yeah. That's a fantastic price for what you get, and it isn't even the cheapest option.

For that, you'll have to dedicate yourself to a year of masturbating to bukkake. Considering your track record thus far, you could sign up for another decade, so a year doesn't seem like that much of a commitment. If you go for it, you'll pay $119.40. That's only $9.95 a month.

The web design on Bukkake Fest is basic but professional. The sharp lines are easy to follow, and the aesthetic is anything but flashy. The main menu resides up top and contains the options Home, Photos, Movies, Favorites, Live cams, Bonus, Med store, Discounts, Support, Free bonus sites, and Search bar.

Lifetime Supply

Free bonus sites?! Oh, I'm sorry. Did you not realize your membership to Bukkake Fest also includes membership to thirty other sites? Well, it does. That's one of the largest networks you can get for one price. The list has all sorts of gems such as Amateur Dumb Fucks, Big Black and White, Check Out My Chick, Cock Ring Hand Jobs, Fat and Flabby, Female Hard Body, Fuck Me, Grandpa, I Love Small Tits, Just Right Height, Hairy Arms, Teen Girl Photos, and Hot Bitch High.

As if that wasn't enough, they also have a link to the Porn Discount Club, where you'll find all sorts of money-saving opportunities for sites like Nubiles, My Family Pies, Fantasy Massage, Casting Couch X, and Bratty Sis.

To quote that Oxiclean guy who died from a cocaine overdose, "but wait. There's more." Bukkake fest also hosts a bunch of non-bukkake bonus material in case you want to mix things up. The moral of the story, this place is dripping with content.

If you have a medical condition but would prefer to die of a mysterious drug interaction, check out the med store on Bukkake Fest. Personally, I trust porn website drugs one hundred percent. I'm sure they have nothing to do with my night blindness, tinnitus, or the thumb growing out of my asshole. Fuck doctors. Let Bukkake Fest handle all of your health care needs. And before you ask, yes, you can buy pills with Bitcoin.

Bukkake Fest does not host its own live streaming content but instead links to Teen Dreams Live. So if you're both a teen and live stream fan but haven't experienced Teen Dreams, you're fucking up big time.

Christmas, The Paw Patrol, and Oral-Induced Whiplash

Let's scan through some of the content on Bukkake Fest and get a sense of the content they like to post. These guys are big on holidays, so you can always rely on them for some excellent Christmas bukkake content. Check out the photo sets "Christmas Gang Bang" and "Christmas Bukkake." They aren't creatively named, but they deliver as promised.

There is also a video titled "Lexi Dink Xmas - Bukkake Videos." I have to say that Lexi Dink is a terrible porn name unless you're autistic. It sounds like this bitch needs help going to the bathroom. Can she read, or does she prefer watching The Paw Patrol? You guys know how I feel about The Paw Patrol. #APPCAB.

Speaking of holidays, Catalia Valentine has some top-notch content on Bukkake Fest. This bitch gets decimated by more dicks than most could handle. In "Catalia Valentine - Bukkake," she is joined by some unnamed British bitch with an annoying accent and pretty mouth. She entertains all the cocks that are waiting in line for Catalia.

Both of these ladies put in a lot of work. I'm impressed by their neck muscles. They will both need a massage after sucking so much cock. I don't want either of them suffering from an oral-induced whiplash. That's never a fun thing to explain to your doctor. That is unless a bitch wants to fuck her doctor.

Bukkake Fest delivers on the promise of its name. The place is packed to the brim with cum being spilled. Between them, all these bitches take thousands upon thousands of loads.

You can't ask for much more out of a bukkake website with thirty other sites in its network. You're one subscription will keep you busy for years to come. I would complain about the one-month nonrecurring price, but forty bucks isn't bad considering the amount of porn you get access to.

It's time for you guys to spill your seed on Bukkake fest. Do you know who the real bukkake champion is here? It's the carpet under your computer desk.