Young perverts today have it so good. You’ve got easy access to live WebCam shows, pornographic video games and crazy VR movies that stream the porno straight to your eyeballs. In the old days, your best bet for interactive masturbation was a phone sex line. In the early days of the Internet, sex chat rooms started picking up some of the slack. Chatropolis is one of the old school adult chat sites, operating since 1994.

Most of the websites from the mid-nineties are long gone, lost to the ether. I hope you backed up that old GeoCities page about the Backstreet Boys. The fact that Chatropolis.com still stands is a testament to text-based sex chats. Maybe I’m a little bit spoiled by all the HD premium anal teen movies I have access to, so I’m really curious to see why people are still jacking off to this.

Masturbate to this Old-School Vibe

The first thing you notice about Chatropolis is the design. The landing page is just a simple logo that was probably photoshopped back when the site was new. Click through to the real main page and none of it looks any more modern. This is a mid-nineties site, through and through.

Chatropolis looks like websites did back in the day, before anyone had heard of WordPress templates or HD images. It’s a simple-as-fuck design, white text on a black background with blue links. This is what every amateur website looked like in the old days, slapped together with a very basic understanding of HTML.

The front page is a rarely updated feed of Chatropolis news. The last update was an unexpected outage a few months ago, and the last one before that is nearly a year old. It’s mostly technical stuff, like being aware of spambots or how to handle errors from opening too many chat sessions.

There aren’t any very obvious signs in the text that this is an adult chat site. What gives it away is the spam I see on the page. I’ve got a spam blocker running, as always, but there’s still a big banner at the top with a bunch of MILFs flashing by. Supposedly I can fuck these babes, as well as the Asian chick getting fucked in a one-second doggystyle loop in the other ad on the page. Right. If that were true, why would I be wasting my time with a text chat?

Chat About Whatever Kinky Shit You’re Into

I clicked the Rooms link up in the header to see what kind of dirty conversations Chatropolis had to offer me. That old-timey design follows me to the Current Rooms list, which is another block of blue links on a black background. These guys are so committed to that nineties legacy style that I started getting flashbacks to Jenna Jameson and Asia Carrera wank sessions.

There are just under 50 rooms by my count. The topics are mostly easy to figure out just from the names. I have a feeling Asian Persuasion is where you go to discuss methods of curing your yellow fever, perhaps by visiting a massage parlor or just jerking it to some Japanese Adult Video. Tranny chats are filed under Chicks With Dicks, and you’ll find the interracial action in the Black Cock, White Woman chat room.

It seems like they’ve got all the basic bases covered. They’ve got rooms for amateurs, little titties and big ones, celebrity sex, and cuckolded husbands. You can discuss gangbangs with a group of like-minded connoisseurs, or get all gay in the Guys Who Suck Dick room. There are horny housewives, pregnant bitches, rough BDSM action and muy caliente Latina love.

Other chat rooms are a little more vague, at least if you’re going by the name alone. What exactly is going on in their Five Knuckle Shuffle chat room? I can think of all kinds of things that happen when you’re Home Alone, and I get the suspicion this isn’t a chat room to discuss the Macaulay Culkin picture. Toilet Fun might be about getting blumpkins, golden showers, scat, or maybe it’s just a bunch of dudes sitting around farting.

Horny Housewives and Amateur Sex Chats

I really wanted to get into the most hopping chat room at Chatropolis. When I visited the site, they listed the current number of connected users as nearly 700. Chat rooms do list a number of connected users before you enter, but the only way to see them is to click on all the different chat rooms. After poking around a bit, it seemed like Horny Housewives was my best bet with 30 current users.

Before you enter a room, Chatropolis reminds you of the site rules. They are absolutely fucking serious about these, because they make you look at the same wall of text anytime you try to enter any room. It’s pretty standard shit: no minors, no underage role-play, no beastiality, no r*pe or other illegal acts. I guess these guys wouldn’t get along with hentai fans or the kind of perverts who write Literotica.

You don’t have to sign up to use the chat rooms. All you have to do is choose a screen name. There are some other quick options you can set, like your entry and exit messages, message filtering or chat colors, but who cares? I’m here for the fucking sex!

It turns out 30 is the maximum number of users for this room, so I was locked out. Instead, I took a trip to the slightly less crowded Amateurs’ Forum. Holy shit. I just found another thing that hasn’t been updated since the fucking nineties.

Sex Chat in a Vintage Environment

The clunkiness of their built-in chat is apparent the moment you enter a room. It’s got an ugly setup, with your own text box at the very top of the screen instead of the bottom like literally everywhere else. Much of the chat screen is taken up by people entering and leaving the room, and I can see the bottom half of a nude brunette somebody posted.

I tried to scroll up to get a better look at that naked beauty, but the auto-scroll foiled my plans. It was an easy checkbox to fix the issue, and then I was able to peruse the selection of amateur stills and animated GIFs people have been posting all morning. Some are obviously taken from professional porn flicks, but there are also a lot of candid shots.

It is a very active chat room, though I’m not sure I really see the point of posting photos in a chat room. There is no discussion going on, at least in this room. It just seems to me like this material would be a lot easier to post and beat off to on an imageboard or gallery.

Chat for Free or Pony Up Some Cash

Chatropolis offers a membership option that will run you 10 bucks a month for the standard membership, with lower rates if you subscribe longer. One of the prime perks they list is never being locked out of the room again. Yeah, that seems kind of important, because 30 isn’t very many people at all. I routinely jack off to WebCam shows with hundreds of other users vomiting obnoxious text into the chat window. And those are free!

The other membership features are okay, I guess. You can reserve your screen name and telegraph moderators if you need to, not to mention join multiple rooms at a time. Honestly, it’s the standard shit you would expect to get on any chat service without spending any money.

My guess is that these membership options exist so that true Chatropolis fans can keep getting their kicks on the same site they’ve been beating off to for perhaps decades now. They get about half a million monthly visits, and I really wonder how many of them have been visiting the site since before HD porn, WebCam shows, and other modern masturbatory entertainment.

Chatropolis has some serious flaws, mostly related to their extremely outdated design. That said, they’ve managed to stick it out far longer than almost any other website of the era, which tells you a lot about how much their users love the site. They’ve got chats on almost every sexual subject, so get in there if you like giving away your secrets.