Honey Love Doll has a name like it could be the next hit reality show on some TV network your sister-in-law watches, but you know I wouldn’t be talking about the brand here if it were anything SFW or remotely wholesome. Nah, the dolls in question ain’t genital-free Barbies or those inflatable bimbos you can buy at the local sex shop. These fake babes are life size, realistic, and 100% fuckable in their multiple tight orifices.

Yes, ladies and germs, I’m talking about high-end sex dolls again. HoneyLoveDoll.com is an online shop carrying a nice range of synthetic mates, so you no longer have to go home to a sad, empty apartment after Christmas dinner with the family. They’re a relatively new shop living on a domain registered at the end of 2022, but their high traffic tells me this ain’t some fly-by-night outfit hawking bullshit. Let’s take a closer look and see what’s attracting all those window shoppers, shall we?

Honey, I’m in Love with a Doll

HoneyLoveDoll’s got kind of a loud, flashy presentation compared to a lot of the competition. The front page is an explosion of all-caps text screaming in bright colors about NEW ARRIVALS and BIG SALES. Of course, all that promo copy is secondary to the eye candy, which is really their whole bread and butter.

They carry a range of dolls from some of the most popular brands. Elsa Babe, Castle Doll, JX, 6YE and WM Doll are just a handful of the names flicking by the front page. If you’ve been in the market for a premium sex doll, you’ve almost certainly heard of some of them.

As far as basic perks go, HoneyLoveDoll.com hits a lot of the standard notes I’ve come to expect from this industry. They offer free shipping, for one thing, handling the logistics of delivering a coffin-sized box to your home while your neighbors wonder if you’re getting new furniture. “No, Sally, it’s not a new chair—she’s my new wife.”

If you’re getting some custom shit shipped from overseas, you might have some waiting to do while your dream girl is built, painted and packed up. Those of you in a hurry can choose a semi-local gal, as they’ve got dolls stocked in the USA, EU and Canada. Your new waifu can be at your house in just a few days, which is faster turnaround time than some of the Tinder chicks I’ve hooked up with.

I’m whipping up this review in August, and HoneyLoveDoll is running a handful of summer promotions. The current spread of deals include up to 15% off, plus freebies like second heads, built-in tongues and more. Make sure to check the current specials so you don’t miss out on any savings. They’re also giving out coupons for the low, low price of just one sacrificial email address, so you might want to opt in if you’re in the market.

Check Out These Honey Love Dolls

Honestly, there’s enough competition in the realistic love doll market that you’ll usually find the same basic set of perks on every website. Everyone offers free shipping and a very limited money-back guarantee, reserved for those who got the wrong product or a broken one and haven’t yet fucked it. If you’re browsing different websites for a new woman to live in your closet, you don’t need to worry about these basics.

What you do need to worry about is just finding the right synthetic lady to spend your nights and lonely weekends with. The good news is that HoneyLoveDoll offers a nice, wide range of dolls. The multi-brand setup here works to your advantage in a big way, because you ain’t limited to the TPE and silicone sluts coming out of just one factory.

There are a ton of dolls to browse through, so they’ve given visitors a variety of ways to dig through the stack. You can browse by price, by brand, or by what’s in stock where you live. There’s a selection of Honey Love Dolls on sale, aisles full of new arrivals and best-selling broads, as well as a section for parts or add-ons.

If price ain’t your primary concern, I’d say the best way to find your dream girl is to browse by type. The dropdown menu of All Sex Dolls out front offers a breakdown of doll categories divvied up by body type, height, boob size and electronic sucking and fucking features. They’ve got a line of movable jaw silicone dolls that I’m not sure I’ve seen elsewhere yet, so those may be worth a look if you’re into the latest and greatest in cutting-edge sex doll tech.

They’ve got 8 pages of BBW sex dolls, and while none of them are fat by American standards, it looks like they’re finally making some thicker sex dolls. A lot of shops have a BBW section now, and as something of a chubby chaser, I’m usually struck by how small they are. At Honey Love Doll, I finally found a few fake babes with a little extra cushion for the pushin’!

Anime Girls, Pregnant Dolls and Robotic Sluts

Sometimes fake babes are a better option than the real ones because they can offer what flesh-and-blood ladies don’t. One such example is HoneyLoveDoll’s extensive collection of Anime Sex Dolls. As of this writing, they’ve got nearly 300 dolls with big eyes, crazy hair, pointy ears and other features you never find on the hookup apps. Their Samantha doll even has purple eyes and goddamn horns growing out of her head. Now that’s what I call horny!

If hentai sluts ain’t your thing, what about the preggos? HoneyLoveDoll.com has about 20 dolls with an overinflated belly. You can poke your dick up in there to say hello or get her doubly pregnant, all without the risk of having to pay child support for 18 years. Their Hitomi model looks ripe as fuck, like she’s about to pop, which begs the question: what does a TPE humanoid give birth to? They could always include a detachable offspring, though that would open up a whole-ass can of ethical worms. Maybe it’s better they didn’t.

But what if your fantasy is just a highly realistic android who fucks you back instead of just lying there silently like your ex-wife? HoneyLoveDoll.com carries hundreds of high-tech love dolls with advanced, futuristic features. They’ve got dolls with automatic dick sucking starting at around six hundo, which is a fucking steal compared to what they were going for when they first hit the market.

They’ve also got a range of dolls with electronic humping hips. This is a newer feature that’s only been popping up on websites fairly recently, but HoneyLoveDoll already has more than 130 dolls that can do it. The animated GIF of the robot girl moving her ass around made me much harder than I expected, and well, it’s getting harder to resist splurging on another expensive sex toy to play with while I write internet porn reviews.

Custom Android Waifus and Off-the-Shelf Bimbos

I ended up with a hard-on for a Honey Love Doll named Quinn. She’s 5’4” and highly customizable. In fact, I was a little surprised by the sheer range of customization options available. Quinn has a body made of TPE by default, but you can upgrade to silicone for $400. You can also choose the colors for her skin, eyes, nails, labia and areola, not to mention her areola size and breast type. If you’ve got the scratch, there are a handful of electronic and aesthetic upgrades you can throw in for the ultimate experience, too.

Customizing a doll does add some time to your wait, but it’s still faster than trying to find the woman of your dreams on Match. Even the cheaper, off-the-rack models are a significant investment for the average masturbator, so take your time and look around before you pull the trigger. You’ll have plenty of time to enjoy or regret your purchase later.

HoneyLoveDoll.com has one of the better selections of realistic love dolls, owing to their multi-brand approach and stock available in multiple countries. When you’re buying something this personal and this expensive, it pays off in the end to find one you really like, and the wide selection here makes that much easier than joints with a skimpy range of pretend women. If you’re thinking of buying a sex doll in the near future, I’d recommend keeping these guys on your shortlist.