I knew Phone Sex Kingdom would be something of a throwback to older, simpler times even before I clicked the link. I mean, shit, it’s right there in the name. The younger perverts in the audience may not remember this, but people actually used to talk on the phone for things other than disputing surprise fees on their Comcast or Verizon bills. That included making plans with friends, ordering Chinese food without an app, and yeah, even jacking off with a breathy-voiced babe on the other end of the line. There’s an intimacy to speaking and listening that you just can’t get via text, nor can it be achieved if you’re just shaking your dick at Pornhub videos or my own PornDudeCasting.

PhoneSexKingdom.com is a legit phone-based phone sex service. In 2024, I have to phrase it like that, otherwise you might automatically assume you were going to be chatting via Skype or an audio chat function baked into the website itself. (That’s what I figured before I looked for myself.) The company has been in the business since 1999, when internet porn was still in its infancy and a lot more perverts were calling in while they tried not to cum on their landline phones. That longevity alone says a lot about the quality of their services, and the fact that they still get over a hundred thousand visitors in the 21st century says even more. Let’s see how they’re still going strong in a world of free tubes, 4K internet pornography and immersive VR smut.

A Real Phone Sex Kingdom? In 2024?

This may date me a little bit, but I remember dialing up phone-sex 800 numbers with my buddies back in junior high. There were a handful of them that we all remembered thanks to simple, dirty branding, so we’d dial them up on payphones before school, handing the receiver to unsuspecting friends as soon as we heard the click. “Heeeeey, baby,” breathed the babe in the recording. “Do you want to talk dirty to a hot, horny girl?” The recordings always ended with another number to dial, though those secondary digits always wanted a credit card to continue, and none of us had one.

That sort of tomfoolery probably died out as everybody got on the internet. Who needs to hear a funny recording when you can watch real hardcore porno or surprise your friends with some nasty shit like two girls, one cup? Some might have assumed phone sex in general also died out with the rise of the internet. The early text-based cybersex had limited niche appeal, but the webcam sites that started appearing in the early ‘00s brought a new level of interactivity to our online fap fantasies.

While cams are a lot more popular than phone sex nowadays, the old-school format never went away. Phone Sex Kingdom is just one of a handful of such sites I’ve reviewed here at ThePornDude, all of which speak to the enduring appeal of talking dirty on the phone. There are certainly advantages over video chat, like being able to imagine your ideal babe in the sexiest outfit imaginable, not to mention the instant accessibility of dialing up with the phone in your pocket. Sure, you could do a video chat, but it’s a little easier to whack off and interact with the operator when you’ve got a phone held to your ear. Anyone who’s ever tried typing their fantasies at a cam girl with their thumb knows exactly what I’m saying.

The phone sex format and the company itself may have been around for decades, but PhoneSexKingdom.com ain’t selling themselves short with a shitty, outdated website. It’s ironic that they’re technically more of an offline service, because most surviving porn sites of the era wear their age like a wrinkled, yellowed and worn set of old lingerie. By contrast, these guys hit you with a sexy, polished and current presentation right from jump, making it feel like a true modern-day riff on a classic way of getting your rocks off.

Who Do You Want to Talk Dirty to You?

In the old days, anybody who wanted phone sex would browse the back pages of their favorite porno magazine. There were always a shit-ton of ads for different girls and different services, plus more expensive BDSM and fetish lines, and a fair amount of chicks with dicks. It wasn’t a bad system, but there was always some guesswork involved. Is the picture really the chick you’d be talking to? Would she even be available when you called?

Since PhoneSexKingdom is technically an offline service, you don’t actually need to use the website to enjoy what they have to offer. There are some very good reasons to do so, though. One of the things I liked about the site immediately was the list of Queens, as they call their operators on PhoneSexKingdom. For starters, the profiles contain a fair number of photos and audio samples of the babes. You’ll know exactly who’s going to be breathing sweet nothings into your ear, and even get a sample of what those nothings will sound like before you splurge on a call.

They also tell you who’s online right now, ready for a call. If you find a sexy chick who ain’t currently sitting by her phone, no worries, because they also list schedules, so you know when to pop your Viagra, take a bong hit and get the lube ready. It ain’t too different from how webcam sites work, and I wonder who drew inspiration from who. What came first? The chicken or the cumshot?

As I type this up on a Monday morning, I’ve got my pick of ten online Queens. Counting the offline girls, PhoneSexKingdom.com has around 60 operators total, and they include a nice range of women. There are blondes, brunettes and redheads, big-titty porno sluts and girls next door, classy MILFs and tattooed vixens. The selection is mostly white girls, but I do see an Asian hottie and a couple mysteriously exotic babes in the mix.

Dialing Up Phone Sex Kingdom

I clicked a thumbnail of this babe Sadie to check out her profile on PhoneSexKingdom. I think she looks like a redheaded Riley Reid, and I got all hard and drippy gawking at her nudes and listening to her breathy voice in the sample. Her favorite types of calls are Fantasy Phone Sex, GFE and Roleplay Phone Sex. It’s definitely worth noting that you can have phone sex experiences catering to a wide variety of kinks, fantasies and fetishes. They’ve got a whole page listing out different possibilities, but it’s by no means exhaustive.

Whoever you choose, you’ll pay the same way folks have always paid for phone sex, by which I mean your credit card. You know what’s fucking wild? I feel like phone sex prices have stayed largely the same for fucking decades now. Eggs may be inching toward ten bucks a dozen right now, but you can still get ear-fucked by a phone sex chick for two bucks a minute on PhoneSexKingdom. There’s a $20 minimum, and they let you carry over balances of ten minutes or more. You’ve got a couple weeks to use all that dirty talk time.

Some of you may be scoffing at dropping a twenty for a ten-minute fap session, but it’s a pretty standard and reasonable price for the experience. Not only that, but Phone Sex Kingdom offers five free minutes to first-time callers. You only get the freebie once with your first paid call, so make it count! If you want a doubly or triply premium experience, they also offer decent rates on calls with multiple women.

In 2024, PhoneSexKingdom.com might seem like an outdated service to some. Indeed, this ain’t going to be for everyone, as it requires an amount of imagination that you may well have let deteriorate through years of fapping to the video tubes and porno paysites. If you do enjoy the breathy whispers of a dirty-talking gal, and you’d like to chat with your phone instead of a USB headset mic, these guys offer a nice selection of babes ready to verbally act out your fantasies. I recommend checking out their list of Queens and seeing how excited they get you for a conversation.