Session Girls! My fans know that I will jerk off to anything. I even spank the monkey to the taboo porn that I abhor more than animal fucking. If you mute the volume on taboo porn, it immediately becomes regular porn. It’s not like those motherfuckers are actually related. They just call each other brother and sister every five seconds to maintain the illusion.

I haven’t ever beat my meat to animal fucking, but I’ve squeezed off a nut or two watching furry porn. It’s basically the same thing. The humans under those ridiculous high school football mascot costumes are more beast than man. Am I proud of myself when I’m done? No. Is it one of those post-nut clarity moments that make your heart drop? One hundred percent. But much like Taco Bell, no matter how much it tears me up inside, I return for more.

Wearing My Hair Shirt

Old bitches? Definitely not my favorite, but here’s the thing. I love jerking off to teen porn. There’s nothing like the pristine untainted body of a virginal eighteen-year-old. Life has not yet sullied their existence. The unending trudge of time hasn’t sagged their titties or taken the light from their eyes. Everything is perfect and untouched.

The only way I can justify my passion for faux bait is to balance it out with GILFs. The thing is, GILFs don’t exist. Only GITTAs. Also, known as Grandmas I try to avoid. If I see a fuckable GILF, I still call her a MILF. Also, jerking off to hot old bitches wouldn’t feel like atonement for my sins. The only way to make up for jerking off to a bitch on her eighteenth birthday is to make an extreme sacrifice. That means touching my cock to the elderly and infirmed.

I’m often asked about my opinion on piss and shit porn. I’ll start by saying I respect it way more than taboo porn, but that goes without saying. Or at least I wish it did. Listen, am I waking up every morning to the sounds of a man defecating on an Albanian midget? No. Do I like to dabble in a bit of piss play every now and again? Yeah sure. Why the fuck not?

Poop, though? Poop is a different story. I can’t pick up my dog’s shit without gagging up a storm, so human shit is way off the table. My body has a visceral reaction to the sight and smell of a fat steaming pile. There’s no way around it for me. Pee is going to have to be enough.

I imagine your next question will be, “what about anal sex?” First off, it’s a warm moist hole connected to a woman’s body, so of course, I want to stick my cock in it. I’ll stick my cock in warm moist holes not attached to a woman’s body, so a hole between a bitches butt cheeks is a no-brainer.

I’m still not a fan of poop, though. That means if I’m going to jab my pecker in a cunts brown eye, I need her to be cleaned the fuck out. I don’t want to see a single shard of shit either on her asshole, in her colon, or, God forbid, on my fucking cock. This requires a three-step process. First, they must fast for at least a day, preferably two. Second, she needs to wash herself out with a scented enema. I’m not talking about one of those little enemas with a soft plastic bulb. I’m talking about an industrial fucking enema done with a water tower connected to a jet turbine. Finally, I will take a bitch outside, impale her on a fire hydrant, and crank that bitch up to eleven.

Most men are turned off by the thought of fucking a giant muscle-bound slut, but not me. I love the idea of dicking down a bitch that’s one insult away from trying to whoop my ass. Many of my readers see these bitches as threatening, but I see them as targets.

No matter how big a bitch is or how many inches around her biceps are, my alpha male energy will defeat it. Being a dom for a regular sub is one thing, but it’s genuinely gratifying when you can break the spirit of a bitch twice your size. You might be the shit in the street, you amazonian female Tarzan, but you’re my little bitch in the bed.

In fact, not only are you my little bitch in bed, you’re my little bitch in the squared circle. That’s right. I’ll take a bitch into the ring and whoop her ass for real. Well, sort of for real. Ok, not real at all, actually, but it still takes a set of balls to let a bitch that looks like Brock Lesner take you to suplex city.

If I know my readers as well as I think I do, eighty percent of you fucks are pro wrestling fans. Or, as it’s called in the states, “rahslin.” For those unfamiliar with the art form, it’s somewhere between a fight, a dance, and a soap opera. These days the major pro-wrestling circuit is pretty family-friendly. Back in the day, though, it was much more of a spectacle that even included titties sometimes.

Divas such as Sable would compete in bikini contests. The time she removed her shirt to reveal only handprints were covering her tits was a formative moment for millions of young men. Even when they were fighting, there were titty grabs and pussy scissoring instead of getting naked. Porn wasn’t a ubiquitous facet of life yet, so we had to get it where we could find it. Fortunately, the CEOs of the major wrestling organizations know this.

These days all pretense has been lifted, and now there are literal porn wrestling leagues where you can watch women that tower over you wrestle until things become a lesbian fuck fest. Sessiongirls is one of the leading porn-wresting factions, and boy, do they have a hot lineup.

Wait… For Real?

These are boss bitches that will beat the shit out of you and me both. But, the best part is that you can watch them wrestle on Sessiongirls and hire them for their services. That’s fucking right. Do you want to step into the ring and experience what a real ass whooping is like? Would you like that experience to be followed by you busting a fat nut? Then you won’t find a better website than Sessiongirls.

Even I, the fucking Porndude, didn’t know this existed for a long time. I had heard of it, but I didn’t believe it could be true until I saw it with my own two eyes. This is a fantasy many men have, but few know they can attain. Of course, it will cost you, but what’s money when you could be put in a leg lock by a bitch that looks like King Kong.

The services offered don’t stop at ass-whooping, though. Bitches provide a wide range of possibilities that include, but are not limited to Boxing, Lift and carry, Muscle admiration, Feats of strength, MMA, Catfighting, Tickle wrestling, Scissoring, Belly punching, Video chat, Custom videos, and posing. So if you have something else in mind involving muscles and masturbation, just ask one of these giantesses.

No matter where you are if you’re patient, you will have an opportunity to meet up with most of these ladies. Many of them travel around the world wrestling and servicing men in every city they visit. Just click on a bitch’s profile to see her tour dates.

The website is modern-looking and very engaging. The main menu sits up top and includes the options Home, New girls, USA girls, Featured girls, International girls, Wrestling tours, Events, Recent updates, Interviews, Links, Tips, About, Clips store, Contact us, and Search bar.

Below is a side scroller depicting featured girls, upcoming events, and promos. Another level down is a side scroller displaying all the currently featured woman-beasts. These are the best of the best bitches. Some are regular-looking ladies, but most are behemoths. They could crush your cock between their thighs so tightly that it becomes a singularity and sucks the whole planet into nothingness.

Click on a bitch to bring up her stat sheet. Besides including her dimensions, it also lists the services she offers, how to contact her, gives a short description, and provides a photo gallery.

You don’t find a service like this just anywhere. It’s a rare golden egg that should be treated as a blessing upon masturbators everywhere. This website can make fantasies come true that you didn’t know you had.

The website design could be a little more cohesive as far as improvements go. For example, the menu looks a bit sloppy, and the side-scrolling is somewhat distracting.

Why not hit Sessiongirls and find a lady that will treat your cock like Macho man Randy Savage treats a Slim Jim.