As a cricket, I will do my duty, to God and my country.

I will uphold the moral standards of a professional jazz musician.

I will chirp at a differnt frequency from all other Crickets reinforcing the fact that I am a unique individual that is perfect just the way I am.

I am beautiful.

I will treat others with respect as I wish to be treated respectfully in return.

All in-game quarrels will be post-poned until after game to discuss what to do in future.

--Brian "Gorganzolloid/Goudazilla" Cheese