You know from the description already that you make tea for cats. What you may not understand is just glue satisfying the process can be. If I were describing a shooter that manages to accomplish what Pekoe has I’d describe it as ‘visceral’ and I’d really, really mean it, but that doesn’t work here. It’s a standout in and maybe the very definition of the genre of “Cozy”.

I’m looking forward to seeing how they continue to improve the world and your interactions with its inhabitants, the tea-making is already close to perfect. (A bit of occasional early-access bugginess aside)

Crashes on launch. have tried disabling, AV, rebooting, reinstalling, verifying, whatever workarounds I could find. It launches, the main screen shows for a few seconds, then it shuts itself down.

I feel really bad for this game. On the one hand people are right in that the story isn’t exactly breaking new ground, but on the other hand it’s got enough of a twist that it keeps things interesting.
The character designs are pretty charming and the art style is what initially sold me on the game. I don’t feel bad for having spent $40 on it and neither should you, but if you can get it on a sale then I’d call it a no-brainer.

I've had prostate exams more enjoyable, those were lit better though so...

I guess that you could say that I'm
A full-time feline fan
I just can't list the reasons why
I freaking love cats, man

And this here game has allowed me
To find out what it's like
To be the cat I want to be
And wreck the house each night

I'm saying that you could do worse
(especially on sale)
Than running through this kitty course
Docked points, can't see my tail.

Caused childhood traumas to resurface and gave me new things to talk about with my therapist. 7/10

I will admit this game is old
And lacking in some things
It seems that every song must be
Local on your PC

But if you have a fair amount
Of archived MP3s
I think you'll find you'll have a time
playing this game like me.

This game has opened my eyes to the glory of long pig, and for that I am grateful.

I mean, you don't have to watch it, but there's a video at the bottom if you want to leave some feedback on that.

Lust for vengeance went unsated,
Now the Bad Rats have returned!
So prepare to be elated
If it’s sanity you spurn.

You can nuke ‘em, glue ‘em, crush ‘em,
Even drown ‘em if you like.
And because they’re locked in cages
These cats don’t put up much fight.

But I’d caution you be careful,
If you’re looking for consistence.
As a trap that’s almost perfect
Changes outcomes in an instant.

But this I've learned: no matter what
One fact will remain static.
The Bad Rats Show is on the air,
And this is why the world's sick.

Now go back and read the first letter of each line.

It’s meaningless, just like anything I’ll accomplish in life and it’s all Bad Rats’ fault.

https://youtu.be/HYE0JklZBSU

There's also a video available!


https://youtu.be/LnWq0ggZ_JA


Prepare to have yourself “Kidnapped” by a deep and engaging story, “Held Hostage” by by smooth and exciting gameplay and have your butchered remains dumped on the side of the road even though you ‘Paid The Ransom’ when you bought the game when all of your hopes for any of this crumble from the moment you first move the mouse.

‘Kidnapped’ makes a lot of mistakes, a lot, but it does make an attempt, regardless of how hard it falls on its face. There are some interesting things going on with the map layout changing itself up now and then, but these instances are few and far between and not used anywhere near their full potential. Even if they were more common I feel as though whatever explanation we’d be given for it would be the same flimsy nonsense we already get. It’s an interesting premise on the very surface of it, you’ve been kidnapped, is it black market organ harvesters? A white slavery ring? The Illuminati? Nope, it’s a dude.

Sort of.

---SPOILERS AHEAD, FOR WHAT THEY’RE WORTH, SKIP TO AVOID “PLOT”---


Let me break the story down for you, real quick: You wake up with a hangover in a stinky room. Why? ♥♥♥♥ it, you’re the Chosen One for some reason. (No, seriously) Who actually kidnapped you is a question without an answer as the main antagonist(?) of the game has grown to three times his original size and is now a hulking pink monster with a vagina for a face and a rather shapely bum. I’m not saying he couldn’t have kidnapped you, but he might have caught a few sideways glances as he walked down the street, rope and duct tape clutched in his pink, taloned hands. I don't know, I guess a dark ritual did it. That seems to be the explanation for a lot of things in this game. Once you escape the basement you are confronted by a door locked tight by a circuit board, because that’s an efficient locking mechanism now somehow, and you’re off to hunt up all five circuit pins needed to open the sesame. What follows are some almost interesting bits involving mannequins that are actually just mannequins, a shy piano playing ghost who makes exactly one appearance, a house that occasionally changes its floorplan, and some notes about an ex con with mommy issues and a love of vintage print advertisements, as well as the discovery of a dark secret hidden in the elaborate tunnel system that resides below the house. Oh, yeah, and a pair of haunted, somewhat inconvenient, two-liter bottles of soda for some reason.

Once you have the pins you enter the basement and are quickly attacked by one of those poseable wooden artists dummies and wake up in a cave.. There’s a chase scene, you find a gun with a poorly thought out reload animation and poke a few magic statues for some reason before being booted into a big spooky forest. There are houses here, presumably owned by the vertically challenged given the height of the doors, but inhabited since there are cars in the driveway and lights on outside, but for some reason you’re too good to knock at the door and ask to use a phone. You wander around aimlessly, slaughter and skin some animals (for some reason) before ‘sacrificing’ them at altars. Clearly this makes giant statues clip up through the ground and allows you to go to church.
Which is locked, it’s abandoned, there are plenty of broken windows, and I’m sure there are other potential ways in, but you’re not about to break and enter, you have to find the key which, for some reason is hiding under a grave marker. Spooky noises happen and then you head over to a shack that’s made of T.A.R.D.I.S. and much, much larger on the inside. But as we all know, you have to drop your weapons before heading into a place like that, it’s not like you’d possibly need a gun in this situation.
You walk and solve a "puzzle", then walk, "puzzle", walk, "puzzle", (Please note the quotation marks around the word puzzle) walk, walk, find a new gun and die.

At the very end you’re rewarded with a slideshow talking about how much Sebastien meant to everyone (Forgetting the fact that nobody named Sebastien could ever have friends) and how the legend of his journey will live on.
---END SPOILERS, WAS IT GOOD FOR YOU TOO?---

The game can be summed up by one phrase which kept appearing in this review: For some reason. You’re kidnapped for some reason, a guy’s a demon for some reason, you do things for some reason, I bought this game for some reason. There’s really not much beyond that, and I’m generally pretty forgiving of games, if the gameplay is rubbish I can usually find something redeeming in the story and vice versa, but this one? I can’t even recommend it for the inevitable less than a dollar sale price. It is bad.

Oh yeah! Achievements don’t work, (for some reason) and don’t seem to have since release.