🔞 ADULT: Id/lordcrocosquirrel - HD Photos!

After 1.6 hours of playtime, most of which were spent tearing out my hair and sitting there in absolute shock at the horror that passes for gameplay, I'm gonna have to say #Nope.

I first saw this project on Greenlight months ago, and thought it looked a bit rough, but showed the smallest amount of potential to be a really good game-- I even left some mild criticism with a couple of tips on how to maybe improve on what they were showing in the trailers, one of which was uploaded twice.

Now, fast forward to today, when my request for a review code was denied outright. Now, I had completely forgotten what it was and what it might be about, but the screenshots didn't look completely terrible when I made the request.

More the fool me, I decided that if the devs didn't want me looking at this game, I should maybe look at it anyway... So I bought it. Could have been an error on their part, could have run out of review copies, whatever. No skin off my nose, right?

It seems the Developer may have, in fact, seen me coming from the comment I left back in May. The game is a hot mess, with such serious logical problems in most of the puzzles that one of them very nearly broke my brain. A torch, on a wall, across from a lit torch less than ten feet away. I'm allowed to touch it, so I do, and I'm told that I need fuel to light it.

First, a torch IS fuel, by its nature. Kindof the point. The solution to this problem was actually worse-- in another part of the tiny level, there was a Gerrycan of what I assume was gasoline, which when used on the torch set it alight with no further action required.

Mind you, that's actually fairly typical of the puzzles you will find in this shambles. The game is also very poorly optimized, if it was optimized at all. It barely runs on my machine at the lowest settings, with wildly varying framerates depending on where you are. the options menu is thin, and even then I played the first while and a half more terrified of the heat meter on my GPU than anything in the game.

Invisible walls on one side of a path but not another, a room you can see across that is declred too dark to go through (and another invisiblw wall), the list goes on. Bad textures, asset packs used pell-mell, a thin premise that could have worked but for a bit of actual work, and tiny levels that pushed hardware to its limits mar what could have been a servicable, if uninspired jumpscare game.

Even the jumpscares fail to really deliver. They're telegraphed so hard you see them coming several minutes in advance, and the one time they managed to catch me even slightly unawares, the whole thing fell flat. If you're looking for horror, go elsewhere.

If you want a game that will make your jaw drop at the utter insanity of some of the goings-on, then belly up and plunk down your monies.

Devs: Fix your memory leaks. Not even the Quit button works properly. The uninstall button works a treat, but that wasn't your doing.

Every second I spent with this game is chronicled right here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rT9u_nYF8YA

I played it live for my usual audience... I also gave a more detailed critique at the end. I cut the stream off rather than move on to another game, so the Dev had just this train wreck to look at.

I play bad games so you don't have to. Don't play this game. Not even once. For free. At the time of writing, there are nearly two dozen positive reviews on Steam, and I have no earthly idea how it got one.

EDIT: Played it again on a livestream, and I stand y my original statement. This game is still lower than trash-tier.