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6 of 89 (7%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Unlocked Apr 12, 2025 @ 11:57pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Unlocked Apr 13, 2025 @ 12:14am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.
Unlocked Apr 17, 2025 @ 2:32am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Unlocked Apr 13, 2025 @ 12:21am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Unlocked Apr 17, 2025 @ 2:36am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
Unlocked Apr 17, 2025 @ 2:47am



Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.
0 / 30

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.
4 / 30

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.
0 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.
0 / 30

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
0 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
0 / 10

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
0 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
0 / 3

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
0 / 30

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.
70 / 1,000

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
0 / 30

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
0 / 30

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
0 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.