Allegedly for a review of their website for ThePornDude, I spent the morning perusing the menu at Park Lane Escorts, but I don't know if I can sit back and do nothing with this information. It's like finding a local store that specializes in your favorite ice cream, only instead of licking the melted milk, you crush the nuts for a few bones. I was planning on taking Grandma out to dinner tonight, and I'm sure she'll understand. Sometimes things happen.

One of the attractions of ParklaneEscorts.com is its schedule. It's a high-end escort agency based in London, where you'll find someone when you get lonely. That means they can arrange to meet a beautiful woman right after they've treated grandma to fish and chips, or at any other time. If one of them is a potential couple, you can even enjoy a threesome with your grandmother. Let's take a closer look at what these sophisticated perverts have to offer.

Meet a ParkLane escort.

At first I thought ParkLaneEscorts was another extensive escort directory filled with ads from independent and agency prostitutes. Perhaps the name should have given away the real premise, especially for those who have been escorts in London for a long time. Nevertheless, the agency has been around for more than a decade, and the relatively high volume of traffic says a lot about its popularity." Park Lane Escorts remains one of the largest and best luxury London escort agencies in the capital," reads the caption on the "About Us" page.

Some of you cheapskates probably saw the phrase "high class" and immediately clicked the enter button. Escorts can be expensive, even when it comes to independent girls who work in booths behind McDonald's. Park Lane Escorts can be found for a price, with some starting at £150. I was expecting to see ugly girls in the lower price range, but the site doesn't seem interested in ugly girls. Even the cheap girls look beautiful.

Whether you spend a few hundred dollars or $4,000 for a night out, you have an important decision to make. Namely, which girl to book. It's a killer choice: there are about 100 escorts to choose from on the front page alone. It's not the many thousands of choices found in some of the more comprehensive directories, but it should be enough to find the girl of your dreams. Anyway, ParkLaneEscorts is an agency, so we hold ourselves to a uniform standard when it comes to women. You won't be screening out the ugly women in this area.

ParkLaneEscorts.com can also be browsed by location. Since the agency is based in London, I assumed they would have several locations around the capital. Turns out they do have escort services throughout the UK and beyond. The current selection includes a couple of babes from New York, while listings in Moscow, Dubai and Mykonos are currently empty. I appreciate agencies with such a wide range because it means a certain level of consistency, even if you travel outside London for extracurricular activities.

So if you are in or around London, you will have access to the best selection of ParkLaneEscorts. As soon as I hit the homepage, I saw blondes, brunettes and exotic babes from South Kensington, bondage whores from Mayfair and elegant babes from Knightsbridge. From Central London to Chelsea, Earls Court to Gloucester Road, women from your neighborhood are gathering tonight for a good time.

Who's on the air tonight.

I'm not going to lie: I visit enough escort service sites that I get some routine. After getting a general idea of the area, I usually like to dig into the search function to try to narrow down my choice of escort services to more acceptable ones. Unfortunately, ParkLaneEscorts.com doesn't have the usual set of search, sorting and filtering options that I would expect from a great directory. It's a bit of a shame, but there is a small drop-down menu of available types in the header.

Park Lane has a large selection of escort services, so you don't have to settle for some girl who's not your type just because she's all that's available. The types menu gives you quick access to blondes, brunettes, redheads, slim, petite and shapely women, bisexual escorts, girls and couples. However, there is a noticeable lack of general escort categories such as BDSM, fetish, dominatrix and massage.

I wish the categories and the listings themselves were a little clearer. Girls tend to post ads on some escort sites, talking about all the dirty deeds they are willing to do, in very graphic detail; ParkLaneEscorts.com, however, is a more professional enterprise, and that means that the site itself is pretty well sanitized for your and their protection. This means that it has been Here you can find some easy T&A, but the women are not listed by name with all their fetish and kinky services.

If you're a geek and looking for something special, there may be some speculation and negotiation, but I'm glad they're transparent about prices. Each ad includes a breakdown of incall and outcall rates, hourly or per night. For example, this 26-year-old blonde, Brianna, who works in Mayfair, charges £700 for a three-hour outcall, which later sounds like the perfect rendezvous after dinner with Grandma and me.

Prostitutes and bang, leave a review

Brianna's profile on ParkLaneEscorts has great photos and stats including height, ethnicity, hair color, sexuality and language. Scrolling down the page, I noticed the reviews section, and if you're a regular reader of ThePornDude, you know that reviews are an important feature for an escort site. I would never buy a bottle of lube or a new pocket cat without reading the reviews, why would I take real cats without doing my homework.

ParkLaneEscorts.com has a growing number of hands-on user reviews about their escort services. It seems to be a relatively new feature on the site, said. Most escort services don't have reviews yet, I feel like I should go in there, beat up some whores and write about them. For the sake of the slut-loving community, you know. (Oh, and I can understand why most clients take the time to post reviews about their favorite hookers. The anonymity of the internet is a bitch).

I found a girl named Sophia, who works in Knightsbridge, and gave her a five-star review, calling her "the sexiest girl in London." The guy said she tasted like wine and made him feel like he was 21 again. Combine that with her photos and a 15-second video of her in her underwear, and I think I'm going to fall in love. Well, it's almost certainly just lust, but that's enough. But she's a very expensive girl: she charges up to $600 for one hour of on-call or off-call work. Maybe I should ask my grandmother if I can get her an early birthday present.

When you use an agency like Park Lane Escorts instead of a more extensive catalog, there are small disadvantages, but they are counterbalanced by advantages. For example, you have fewer women to choose from, but they are more consistently sexy here. Prices are higher than independent prostitutes, but you pay for quality you don't get with street hookers. ParkLaneEscorts searches within a limited area, so it's easier to find girls than sites with purely worldwide listings. ParkLaneEscorts is a great place to find a girl.

ParkLaneEscorts.com is a site with a long history, and that history alone is remarkable. If the company has been around that long, it's obvious that they are satisfying their customers, and I like to be satisfied too. It's worth nothing to browse their selection of local escorts who do their trade in your area, hopefully you have the willpower. Once you see these girls, you'll probably want to make a date.